keepingmyjoy

Hi again. Well, AH got a ride home from a co worker (funny how he could find a ride all of a sudden!) and had him stop and he bought his beer! He tried to be all nicey nicey and talk about his day and act like nothing of what is happening ever happened. I was just quiet, listened and thought maybe I would have a night off from ranting and raving. Nope. It did not take long for him to tell me he is going to buy a new house and that daughter and I will have to enjoy apartment living again. Then he actually tells me that he will take our son on the weekends so I can party like his exwife did! I said "I don't think so".

Also, during the evening, I got a business call and while I am talking to this person, he comes in and starts talking to me asking if I am sleeping in the living room or the bedroom since we can't sleep together.

I cannot believe how much all this escalated in the last 2 weeks! 2 weeks ago, I pondered how I would get out of this situation, but with doubts and fear. I would have never guessed things would get this out of control so fast. Now, with all your comments and support reminding me that I am not the crazy one, I feel strong and know that I have to get out. I am looking to get daughter settled into her own apartment 1st off since he seems to focus his anger on her. I will get her settled and then work on finding a place for son and I. Daughter is in 20's and so ok with being on her own, but I will have to help her financially right now to do it. At the same time planning my escape.

I know this might sound alittle selfish, but I love our home and our neighborhood etc. It really hurts me to leave it all behind. I will check with an attorney like some of you suggested, but I need to get out of here. I feel so sad. Feels like I am losing a life! But at the same time, I know that a new one will begin, peaceful and warm. But it still hurts. It also hurts to find out that what I thought I had, a husband who drank, but loved me, is tossing us away over his beer, and seems to really really not care what so ever about his son or I. Wow, was I in a delusional place. This really hurts.

best

Such things are just like a loss through a death. The grief and pain is the same. The hurt goes away with each bit of understanding you gather. It isn't him saying and doing...it is the control that alcohol has on him that is saying and doing.
Yes...still hurts but with understanding we find that it isn't personal attacks from a person thinking with a sound mind.

cagefree

Thanks Best - I needed to hear this today

respektingme

Just watching the progress in you is inspiring for me.

Mr. Christian

As you new life unfolds you will gain strength.
Your Daughter will be fine, she is old enough to deal with life on her own.

There will come a time in your future when you will look back at this past life and wonder why you did not run sooner.
You will be fine.

keepingmyjoy

Thanks so much....I am not sure what I would do with out you.

Pick-a-name

"He found a way to buy his beer"

....of course he did! That part of the equation was never in question.

Loreena

God this disease will stop at nothing - my alcoholic husband also used to get rides home from work and sneak his bottles of vodka in that way..I've been thrown over by booze more than once in my life, it ALWAYS wins. I'm going through almost exactly what you are going through right now dear, I am planning my escape, I'm saving and looking at condos, seeing a lawyer (saving for that too!!) bringinig home boxes every day from work etc. etc...thinking about my future. I can't imagine how hard it is with kids, it is just me I'm dealing with, you have other lives to think about and how much harder that all must be. Sometimes I feel so alone in this and get on the pity pot about it but then I read something like this and I get outside myself and wish I could give you a hug. I think we find strength together sharing here.

I am sorry for your pain, the thing that helps me is taking action, sounds like this is exactly what you are doing as well.

thanks again for sharing,

L

GlassPrisoner

Yup. walk to the bus, stop at the liquor store, ride the bus until I met my ride home. Stuff vodka bottles (little ones,) in my socks after killing one or two in the bathroom. Viola !!!

Like pick-a-name said, of course we find a way. We're alcoholics.

I'll second the advice you've been given. Find your own recovery......

fluffyflea

He's angry because he feels you are getting strong and he's trying to call your bluff.

He's throwing HIS life away over his beer, NOT you and your son.

Hang in and see an attorney.


Earthworm

guineapigjude

Ouch. I was in a very similar place to you about three and a half months ago. I still have moments where I just can't believe XAH threw his family away over beer and pot, but they are getting fewer and further between. And you are so right ~ you ARE losing a life, but getting a new one.
You can do it! It will get better, and you'll be okay. Stay strong.

wish he'd quit

My ah has the neighbor kid drive him to the store if I wont.