Wanttobefree

Hi all. I have received so much support from this forum, and I would like to offer what I can, to perhaps help someone else in my situation. It has to do with military veterans, so if that doesn't apply to your situation, don't read on, as this might be a long one.

My son joined the Army and went to Iraq for a year. Before coming home, his commander posted on the website, that the friends and family of the returning vets should educate themselves on the signs and symptoms of PTSD. So I did. As I was reading about PTSD, I sat in front of the computer, just dumbfounded. I was reading my AH behavior pattern to a T. I can't tell you how shocked I was, as my AH is a Vietnam Vet, and nearing 60. So that means he has been away from war for going on 40 years. After his last drunken binge and screaming fest, I must have FINALLY conveyed to him that I could no longer tolerate being his whipping post/doormat any longer and didn't have any choice except to leave. So I did. I am not sure why he decided to seek help, he never did in the past, and I NEVER, not once, ever, expected him to seek help of any kind. But he did. From the Veterans Administration. They welcomed him and are doing their best to help him. So far, it is doing him a tremendous amount of good. He's not sure he can quit drinking, it's a day by day thing, but he is truly making an effort. The help he is receiving is free of charge, and we luckily live in a town that has a VA medical center. I know the VA has outreach programs, for people that are not close to a medical center. My point with this is, if it applies to you, check into the VA. There could be more going on with your A vet than just alcoholism. It could be a double edged sword, alcoholism and PTSD combined. I know at the very least, my AH doesn't feel so alone and hated anymore. There are counselling sessions, group and individual, phycologists, phychiatrists, the whole ball of wax. I personally am just biding my time, watching and trying to take in who this new person is, and wondering if or when he will revert back, but it is the first time he has sought help, so I am willing to give it a try. We always knew about the VA, but never gave it much thought as far as benefits go.

I just wanted to share that in the hopes it helps someone else.

StandingStrong

Wanttobefree - I truly hope that your husband continues to seek help. I believe that many of us will agree that often-times there is an underlying issue that comes with addiction. Alot of self-loathing and whatnot. I'm glad that you have found help and have educated yourself even further on various things that have (and do) affect your husband.
But please remember - that regardless of what comes of his recovery - to keep focusing on your own as well.
It takes two healthy people to have a healthy relationship!

Sunlight81

PTSD Test

1= Almost Never, 2= Occasionally, 3= Frequently, and 4= Almost Always)

___1. Inside I feel like a tightly coiled spring.
___2. I have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep.
___3. I feel I have to "walk on egg shells."
___4. I have trouble concentrating on what I am doing.
___5. I feel empty and alone.
___6. I feel like I am on an emotional roller-coaster.
___7. I have a hard time telling what I am feeling.
___8. I avoid certain kinds of places that remind me of events from my past.
___9. Certain smells, movements and/or behaviors can easily cause a reaction inside of me.
___10. I feel like a spectator to my life.
___11. I have reoccurring bad memories/dreams of my past.
___12. I over-react to certain kinds of people and/or in certain situations.
___13. I feel like other people are in charge of my life.
___14. My thoughts seem to have a life of their own.
___15. I feel like I have a huge black hole inside of me.
___16. When I think about my childhood I draw a blank.
___17. I experience periodic episodes of rage or of just "losing it."
___18. I work best when I am under a lot of pressure.
___19. I have trouble paying attention to what others are saying.
___20. I am easily bored.
___21. I have trouble connecting with people.
___22. I organize my life around the avoidance of conflict.
___23. I have trouble keeping my weight down.
___24. I experience big gaps in memory when I think about my childhood.
___25. It's hard for me to have positive thoughts about my future.

___ Total Score

Interpretation:

SCORE
INTERPRETATION

25 - 35
Your answers indicate that you may have very few PTSD symptoms.

36 - 50
Your answers indicate that you may have some PTSD symptoms.

51 - 100
Your answers indicate that you may have many PTSD symptoms.