Momsrainbow

Positive yesterday after all support from SRC I as on top of the world. Hubby showed up-would not have opened door but 3 dogs over 120# would have broke the window out. His crying and whining yesterday-made a great recovery. He is off drugs(ran out of $) back to the person I loved. Did not ask for anything-except the rplc. cell phone(his name). Told me our problems were I always brought up the past(before he went to prison in 2001). That past is past. He seems to not understand he brought his past(all his druggie friends) right here to the present. A time warp or a time tunnel? Said he never had anyone stand by him for so long(not even his mom or family)-he does not know how to have a relationship, that is the only thing I know he is not lying about. Said he is not on drugs now-I believe that-for today! I know he does care, does not know how to show it-maybe I can show him-NO NO and more NO!!!!He had it all-an enviable life-houses, cabin cruiser, etc.(mine) sold it all for him for one excuse or the other. Now done to trying to get welfare? I know, I know, I know. I can post what I thin is good advice but unable to handle my own life. How strange.

hope213

i am sorry he came. i know you are hurting but as long as you have contact with him you will hurt. as long as you see him, talk to him he knows he still has that chance to "play you again".he may be clean today but it is a matter of "what he can sell" before he will be high again. stay strong. keep repeating the NO,NO,NO, maybe u will learn to say it automaticlly. hugs & prayers, hope

marle

Just like addicts have triggers to use drugs, we have triggers to help our addicts. One of my triggers was the sob story. Another is seeing the destitute condition my daughter is in. The sob story no longer works for me because I have the tools to say no. Seeing her still breaks my heart, so I don't see her. It makes it so much harder when the addict is standing before us. Then we see their humanity. And just like it would be hard to walk past a stray, hungry dog, the same holds true for our addicts. Addiction reduces them to the very basic form of life. If he has no money and he can't use, maybe he will decide to seek help. Now is definitely not the time to give him anything that he can use to get more drugs. Hold strong. Hugs, Marle

dollydo

And, everytime he hurts or needs something, he will come a knockin, you do not have to let him, dogs or no dogs.

You have a choice, continue to let him in or keep the doors closed, this is your choice.

Sorry to say, all he cares about is his next fix, you can believe anything you chose to, but that's the bottom line.

Momsrainbow

Think maybe it is because I am an"old dog"? I get it-just for whatever reason cannot accept it?Funny-he left 2 pups here-now 7-8 mo. huge dogs. Cannot find a home for them and cannot put to sleep. Cost 100 to get them picked up-so am softie-plus I do not have the money. In my 62 yrs. I have never had a problem dealing with a "thing" until now. No I do not have dementia-just pain. Disappointed in myself for even posting this-many more need help more than me.

raerae6

Hey Moms, don't feel bad, you are not alone in your situation. I bet everyone on here has been in similar situations.

Maybe you can bring the dogs to one of those 'no kill' shelters, where they keep them until they are adopted. Or maybe put up ads in public places like veterinarian's offices or coffee shops?

dollydo

I just turned 60, I am old in years, yet not in spirit, I can still turn on a dime, reinvent myself when I need to. It's all about attitude, about a desire to have a better life. If you waste one more day dealing with him and his addiction, you are cheating you, wasting a day of your life. The older I get, the more I realize how precious each day is, it is a gift. Give yourself the gift of peace and happliness, by letting him go.

As for the dogs, you can take them to the humane society, or, let him take them back, they are his dogs, his responsibility. I am a animal lover, I have three dogs and a cat, but, I chose them, they were not dumped on me because it was convienent for someone else. You do not have the money to have them picked up, but, you will have to feed them, and two dogs that size will cost a fortune to feed.

Are you sure you are not keeping them to have a link to him? After all, he does want to visit his dogs. I'd think about that question.

As for posting here, all our issues are on an equal plain, we wouldn't be here if we didn't need help, one person's issue is just as important as anothers.

The ball is in your court, you hold the key to your future in the palm of your hand, he doesn't.

marle

Moms, Don't feel bad. And did you know that petting a dog lowers your blood pressure and reduces stress. People who have animals live longer. I have 5 dogs. Just last month I took them to the vet and had their teeth cleaned. Did I do the same for my addict daughter. Nope, not as long as she is not in recovery. My daughter will send me to an early grave if I let her, my dogs will allow me to live longer. Which am I going to choose Hugs, Marle

Elana

If you need people to talk to you come here and post! Your problems are no less or more important than any others, and they are HUGE to you.

You need to get your own head sorted out and yes, you know you cannot keep those dogs. It costs $100 to get the humane society to pick them up? Hm.. you should have reported them as strays.... If they are as large as you say they eat food and $100 in dog food doesn't stretch far.

ladyjane

Moms
Don't beat yourself up because you feel sorry for your a. We all have times that we feel bad for them and cave in to their desires. Be strong and live for yourself today.
If you don't want the dogs, maybe as Elana said you can still report them as strays and they will pick them up.
I certainly don't think it cause you're an "old dog". I'm 55 myself. It's my a's that make me feel like I'm 9 days older than dirt!!
Hugs from me.
________________
Trish

Lobo

Mom's, You and your problems mean just as much to us as anyone else.
We all have broken hearts and a lot of pain. God gave us friends and God gave us shoulders. There are a lot of shoulders here for you.

Hugs...........Lois

duet_4-8

Ahh, the old "I can't change the past, why can't you let it go..." manta. How many times have i heard that one???? My exah just didn't get that the past includes both 20 years ago and 20 minutes ago...

Momsrainbow

A new day, wish it was easier. Put an ad in the statewide paper for both pups-free to good home. No they are not a link to hubby-just "rotten" loving pups who deserve a good home. Neighbors and I had a pow-wow last night. He has been sneaking into the tenants on a 4-wheeler. I talked to them about the rent and I am certain he was in the house. He has been told by police if he was caught there-he would be arrested for criminal trespass.(long story-house is in a trust for me) Guess I need an attitude adjustment. A Yankee is the south-dealing with back of the woods folks? Nothing against the south-woods=just this lot of people. I know what I have to do and going to get it done today..... Thanks all. LOL