carl11

Well went to my first 2 meetings last night -meet#1 was a first step meeting......the first meeting was about 45 people...several young folk...15 16...and others, there by order of the court as they just sat there played with each others hair and talked while others were talking....anyway...when I raised my hand as a first time attendee, a woman and reached across to me to shake my hand and welcome me....when the meet was over I was browsing the literature and a guy came over to intro. Himself...is name is....CARL...my name...lol...what a trip..anyway, he was very welcoming and said hey they have another regular meet coming up next why don’t I stay...

and I did..( he gave me his home and cell number as well as did another couple)...this meet was much more to my liking , about 30 folks with an average very close to my age...many of them were long timers and knew each other and had several grps. Like a morning breakfast clubs etc...carl invited me for coffee afterward but I had to go home, my wife needs my attention too..and I was a little overwhelmed to be honest....

The Carl I met got up to speak and he said something that really got me..he said he gives back by not letting a newcomer walk out of a room without stopping him and introducing himself an offering sppt.


I am going back tonight no doubt...he took out a schedule book and circled several weekly meets close by as he lived close to me as well and said I was welcome and that ( I gave him my number) he was going to just give me a call to check in on me, I said hey no sweat).....as I was leaving that meeting other folks introed themselves...

as I was walking to my car a guy, about oh 35 said hello, he asked me if I was an alcoholic, I said yes..he asked if I was serious about sobriety, I said as serious as I could be...he asked if I would like a sponsor..I said yes but since carl introduced himself to me, I didn’t want to say yes right away and hurt anyone’s feelings...he said that the way I worked is, generally, if carl wanted to sponsor me he would have mentioned it....in any event, he told me Bill W. was only on step 9 on his deathbed..and IF I was serious, we needed to start now...first step tonight....I told him I would be back Saturday night ( tonight) and I appreciated his offering but I had to get home..he shook my hand gave me his number abdnd said he would be seeing me......I guess they get a lot of one hitters ...come in sample...and not come back....so if he questioned my seriousness I don’t blame him...

It was altogether intense and this morning, its really beginning to sink in, I am feeling a little depressed as I now realize what I have done to myself and it’s a little daunting..I have to commit fully..and I am..I have to.....I am very glad I went....

Peter

Good for you carl. I hope it all works out.

Yasmin1970

I am so glad to hear that you went !! I know exactly what you mean about feeling depressed once the feeling/feelings start to sink in !!!!

Take care and good luck with tonights meeting

Peace,
Yasmin

gurujake

What a great example of AA at work. The actions of those individuals both their words and their offers of assistance obviously touched and impacted you enough that you want to come back for another meeting. That's how it started for me. It's so great to be able to feel free to speak about all of the crazy thoughts and past crazy actions without fear of being judged. Wow...what a relief it was. Keep coming back man. It made all the difference to me.

carl11

thx yasmin.....we are symatico.....!!! yes I am looking foward to the meet tonight as well....I also realized, tis morning...that whatever my manager, friends etc. think just doesn't amount to a hill of beans..regards my ultimate welfare and that of my family....theres nothing I can do about their feelings anyway except to make amends for past hurts, if they choose to move on and forgive me, excellent,,, if not then....it is what it is... ...and, can only...yes- take it one day at a time...

god I wish I could get these smilies to work...lol.

carl11

yes jake..you hit it on the head......I feel I am not alone.....no matter how symathetic my wife is, (and shes a great gal), I don't ultimately think she can understand this like they can...and I am going to keep going back ..thax!!!

Anna

I'm glad it's going well Carl and that you are moving forward.

Rowan

Carl,

I know how intense the whole experience can be in AA - and it's gratifying to hear that service work is alive and well in your neck of the woods. I'm really glad that you shared your experience with us.
Try not to project too far into the future - stay in today as best you can - and everything will fall into place. You're doing great.

Rowan

carl11

thank you rowan..you must be clairvoyant because I am focusing on a one on one I am having with my mgr. Monday at 900 am..and getting jittery on and off....he was told last Thursday what my issue was by my team leader....and I don’t know what to expect....my team leader says she spoke to him and there is no job performance issue..it is an attendance issue...All I can do is ask him to accept my apologies, and watch me over the next 12 months and this will just seem alike a small bump in the road......trying to fathom where he is at re: my issue, is on my mind....does he see this as a weakness that cannot be overcome?...have I tainted the waters....in his mind forever?

Its well, frustrating...but I am trying to tell myself..I cannot do anything but move forward and do my best.....what he decides is out of my hands other than performing well and being at work.. which in the end is all I can do.

Rowan

I know what it's like to obsess about future goings-on, believe me. But you're right - there isn't anything you can do about it today.
Tell the truth on Monday, and accept what happens.
Maybe do something you enjoy today? Then hit a meeting? Hang in there!

chicago

strap on for the most amazing and wonderul ride of you're life! you are about to experience such an incredible journey...you will find commiting to AA will be the best decision you've ever made. i guarantee it! words cannot express how magical the road your about to embark on. i cant wait for you to find out for yourself. the only thing in the world you have to do is stay sober today. dont worry about tommorow or anything else, just stay sober today.

stone

What a good experience! I like that someone came up and offered to sponsor you and mentioned the steps because I get the impression some newcomers can be left to believe that AA is just meetings and that's all.

You might want to wait and see if you gel with someone and then ask him to sponsor you or you might just wanna let this guy do it, dont feel too rushed but do get a sponsor soon is my advice.

As for your boss and other worries, anything good will only have a chance to happen as long as you dont drink so that is THE most important thing. Oh, and try to stay in the now, no regrets and no anxiety over the future. The only thing you can affect is the now!

carl11

thank you all...and stone the guy I met the ‘other’ carl called me 20 minutes ago to ask how I was doing and invite me to a meeting...I had already planned to go, so its nice to a friendly face etc.... ..he is sponsoring someone already..but he gave me advice along the lines you did, wait a bit, watch how this person speaks and acts in the rooms, chat about things in general etc...also make very sure he has some significant sobriety (carl has ten years) and he has done all of the steps and is conversant in them etc....wise advice thank you.

The ‘other’ carl also said something funny and apt on the phone, he told me if I felt like taking a drink, call him, if I can think of one good reason, he’d drink with me....of course he followed that up with the fact that he had bottomed to a point I could only imagine..so finding a good reason wasn’t gonna happen...words to live by...



thx Chicago...I am trying my darndest....one thing that struck me this morning was....this is it....this is a part of my life now that I cannot drop out on..if I do...I am done.....it scared me a little bit...but if I don't commit and commit all the way...I am through...right now I would rather sit in a room and listen and learn than sit in my home office and drink...

GlassPrisoner

Awesome !!!

My home group welcomed with open arms too my first time. Isn't it great ?

Yup. You'll hear a slogan eventually. "Normies"(non alcoholics) just don't get it.

Keep going back, it works. I took my 9 month chip last night, I was a 24 x 7 drinker.

carl11

man, keep on truckin, I envy you.

Spiritual Seeker

[QUOTE-"I have to commit fully" That is probably the smartest thought you've had in year. Act on it ea. and every day. Your life will be amazing.

Missymae737

Hi Carl,


I am so happy you have found truth and comfort with the meetings...I feel a sense of belonging...The people in those meetings are like my family...Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with the kindness and understanding I have received...

Keep posting. We are happy you are here.

igetallnumb

I got my first meeting today

carl11

thank you and I am verrrrry glad to b here :-)

carl11

good luck today...but based on my experiance...you won't need it..... *wink*

let us know how it turns out...