My Friend Needs Help! Plz Read!

Old 07-27-2007, 01:10 PM
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My Friend Needs Help! Plz Read!

Dear to anyone who responds,

I am a 19 year old college student who is home for summer and I have a friend who needs help because he's addicted to a lot of drugs. As of 2 years ago, he really didn't do many drugs. In fact he only smoked cigarettes and occasionally a few joints. I was alright with that cause he wasn't abusing any major drugs. It was the winter break of 2006-07 when I noticed something unusual about him. I went over to my friend's house to see him half conscious on a couch, shaking his head randomly. I asked what someone what was wrong with him and the person said that my friend had done Oxycontin. I also found out that he became a frequent user of Xanex and maybe Valium.

Another incident was when he came over to my house, admitted to have done some more O.C....or was it alot of Xanex...but this was around June (this summer) I think. Then he passed out on another friend's car and began to twitch in his sleep. By then he had become a frequent user of these pills, and couldn't function right without them. It was also this time when alot of his friends tried to intervene, telling him things like he should stop or seek help from rehab. My friend didn't listen and for the rest of this summer has been abusing more and more drugs. I also found out and saw him steal his mother's legally prescribed painkillers, which he freely took.

What finally hit me was about three nights ago when my friend admitted to doing heroin two or three times. He said that he would never do it again, but needed to take a lot of Xanex to feel normal. Normal as in he was addicted to heroin now, and to only get the feeling of being on Heroin he has to do all the Xanex.

Right now I really don't know what to do. People have told my friend to constantly seek help but he never does. And my other friends also don't do anything else beyond telling him to stop. I don't know if I should call rehab about it, I don't know if I should tell his parents that he's doing all these drugs (I think his parents already know that he does weed, and suspects he does Cocaine, which is false). I don't want to go to my friends funeral cause he died of overdosing on something, or got killed trying to get the drugs. Personally, I think these pills that he's taking has become an epidemic across the United States and I think it should be stopped. It's just that there are ppl out there who medically need it, thus impossible. Its just that I am sick and tired of seeing people get their lives screwed by drugs. Plz, someone help!
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Old 07-27-2007, 01:19 PM
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Hi jsk,

I'm sorry you're going through this with your friend. All of us here are sick of drugs.

Please read all of the "sticky" posts that appear at the top of this forum. They were really helpful to me when I first came here.

Truth is, there is nothing you can do for your friend at this point. Unless he WANTS to get clean and go into a program of some sort (detox, rehab, 12-step) you cannot force him to. They like to say in these parts that "you didn't CAUSE his addiction, you can't CONTROL it, you can CURE it"......and as sad as it is, that's true. I remember being 19 and remember thinking that there wasn't anything I couldn't do if I just worked hard enough, said the right things, loved someone enough.

Unfortunately, addiction isn't like that. It has a mind of its own, and isn't the kind of thing you can just jump in and cure. They have to hit bottom, and want recovery for themselves...or else nothing you or anyone else says or does will do a d*** bit of good. Even if you force them too, lock them up, they'll just go back out as soon as they're loose...unless they really, really want it for themselves.

Have you thought about finding and dropping into a Nar-Anon meeting in your area? Those are meetings where friends & family of addicts can get together and talk. They were super-helpful to me as well when I was trying to cope with the fact that I loved someone who was an addict. Just having other people in the same boat to talk to was really healing to me.

Stick around, others will be by to tell you their stories too

Hugs,
GiveLove
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Old 07-27-2007, 01:22 PM
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(((JSK))))
What you describe with your friend is very similar to the path my son chose. He too started with the painkillers, and moved on to heroin because it was "cheaper" to maintain.
There is a lot of information up top called "stickies" that's good place to start, to learn more about addiction.
Unfortunately, there's not much "you" can do to stop your friend. He has to want to stop. When he's ready, there's a lot of help out there for him.
As far as telling his parents...I would want to know. But I will warn you that someone did try to warn me, and I shrugged it off as gossip.
Stick around, read around, there are many good people on these boards.
(((Hugs)))
Cece
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Old 07-27-2007, 01:35 PM
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Hey jsk,
welcome to our motley crew, brought together by our difficult circumstances. I'm sorry for you freind's problem, but as stated earlier, there's not much you can do to stop it. You could tell his parents, but they probably already know. Telling them may make them face up to it. Many parents like to live in denial. My son is my addict and he is 17. We've been struggling with this for 3 years now. One thing is for sure, the addiction won't go away on its own. You are a good caring friend. I wish we had a magic answer for you.
krhea
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Old 07-27-2007, 01:46 PM
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Welcome to SR,
I am a mother of an recovering addict. I wish someone cared enough about me and my son to tell me he was an addict. I found out when I told him to leave, and by then it was to late, he stole so much from me. You can do nothing to make him stop, but if you feel you need to do something tell him parents. If they don't believe it, it isn't your fault they are in denial. Please attend either Nar-Anon or Al-Anon meetings, you will find support there also.
Keep posting and reading you will find support here
Hugs coming to you
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Old 07-27-2007, 01:47 PM
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Sounds like my daughter's addiction. Started with Oxycontin and now is heroin. Heroin is cheaper so it is a natural progression when oxy is too expensive or hard to get. I read in the newpaper recently that cocaine is becoming harder to get, but the dealers are making up for it with more heroin and meth. Opiate addiction is extremely hard to quit and your friend will most likely need professional help. He is using the xanax because heroin withdrawal causes a lot of anxiety. You can be a friend without being an enabler. Do not give him money or make excuses for him. Without help, he will most likely progress deeper and deeper into his addiction. Start isolating and losing the people that care about him. I pray your friend wants help but if he does not the best thing you can do for him and yourself is let him fall. Hugs, Marle
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Old 07-27-2007, 01:48 PM
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Hello & welcome,
I would want someone to tell me, have wished someone would have. If they already suspect pot & cocaine, maybe the truth will open their eyes before something bad happens.
You are a good friend, God bless you

susan
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Old 07-28-2007, 06:02 AM
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Welcome to SR!!!

As a mom who knew nothing about drugs, wish someone woulda told me. Perhaps there would have been nothing I could have done to save my daughter, but I sure woulda stepped in sooner and got my grandson out before he witnessed what he did.
And perhaps I wouldn't have believed it, but wish someone woulda given me the chance. Bless you for caring!!
NSW
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Old 07-28-2007, 06:30 AM
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maybe you should tell his parents.maybe they can get him into a rehab. i do not know.i know this friend of your is on the way to self destruction if he does not want any help to get off of them. you are right,so many, many people in the u.s.a. are on one drug or another. there is nothing we can do about it.all we can do is learn to take care of ourselves. my son is the addict in my life. if you could make them quit using,he would not be clean today.he does not want to quit so there is noway i can make him.it is a terrible feeling to see the ones you love or care about self destruct themselves. keep coming back. i will say a prayer for your friend & for you too.
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Old 07-28-2007, 11:14 AM
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Thank you so much all of you. It brings me comfort that there are people like you out there who are willing to share their stories of grief from drug addiction in their families. And I will take your advice to heart. As for right now, I haven't seen or heard from my friend for a few days. Hopefully I'll be able to meet up with him and see how he's doing this weekend. And again, thank you so much.
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Old 07-28-2007, 11:29 AM
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I'd call his parents TODAY and have an honest compassionate direct conversation, sparing no detail of the severity.
As the mother of a son who became a heroin addict his 1st semester of college, I would have apprec. that phone call. Sometimes we do need to take action. You don't know the outcome of your convers. with the parents but you do know the outcome of the progression of addiction. Bless you for being concerned and proactive.
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