Judgment day is a comin'
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Blacksburg, VA
Posts: 191
Judgment day is a comin'
Hi everyone,
I hope you are well and peaceful on this Friday. I havent posted much cus Ive been working like crazy, as well as preparing for my court case next Weds.
You might remember that my former husband violated a court order and broke into our son's college account, stealing every dollar in it, approx $20,000. I found out in March, "suggested" he got to rehab, he did, and *supposedly* has been sober since then.....tho ya wouldnt know it by his behavior.
So, I filed a motion for contempt for the violation, all by myself, cannot afford an attorney, and the date of the hearing is Aug 1.
I begged him to settle with me these last 4 months, but because Superman isnt afraid of anything or anybody, he refused........until now.
This week seems he is all scared now....its coming real to him, yet his ego and pride are still his best friends. Cant really seem to get the full picture that HE stole from my son and I.....seems he wants to repay the money monthly, in a bank account, with.....are you sitting down........
HIS name on it!
Yup, he wants his name to be on the account also....and he wants ME to have it audited every 4 months to know the value of it! Aint that nice o' him?
The thief wants to control the money he stole. Well, I told him, I think the judge might want to assist me with that decision.
So, to court we go...stay tuned......Love ya all....keep coming back!
I hope you are well and peaceful on this Friday. I havent posted much cus Ive been working like crazy, as well as preparing for my court case next Weds.
You might remember that my former husband violated a court order and broke into our son's college account, stealing every dollar in it, approx $20,000. I found out in March, "suggested" he got to rehab, he did, and *supposedly* has been sober since then.....tho ya wouldnt know it by his behavior.
So, I filed a motion for contempt for the violation, all by myself, cannot afford an attorney, and the date of the hearing is Aug 1.
I begged him to settle with me these last 4 months, but because Superman isnt afraid of anything or anybody, he refused........until now.
This week seems he is all scared now....its coming real to him, yet his ego and pride are still his best friends. Cant really seem to get the full picture that HE stole from my son and I.....seems he wants to repay the money monthly, in a bank account, with.....are you sitting down........
HIS name on it!
Yup, he wants his name to be on the account also....and he wants ME to have it audited every 4 months to know the value of it! Aint that nice o' him?
The thief wants to control the money he stole. Well, I told him, I think the judge might want to assist me with that decision.
So, to court we go...stay tuned......Love ya all....keep coming back!
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
I begged him to settle with me these last 4 months, but because Superman isnt afraid of anything or anybody, he refused........until now.
This week seems he is all scared now....its coming real to him, yet his ego and pride are still his best friends. Cant really seem to get the full picture that HE stole from my son and I.....seems he wants to repay the money monthly, in a bank account, with.....are you sitting down........
HIS name on it!
This week seems he is all scared now....its coming real to him, yet his ego and pride are still his best friends. Cant really seem to get the full picture that HE stole from my son and I.....seems he wants to repay the money monthly, in a bank account, with.....are you sitting down........
HIS name on it!
Interesting all the things these A's come up with!
Wishing you the best not that you will need it! And are you able to get a attorney through the court? Not sure if that works because you are taking him? Call the court and look into that-even though it does not sound like you will really need one for this!
I think all you need is strength-which sounds like you have! Chin up and walk in there proud for you and your son!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 477
Your post brought tears to my eyes, BGP. One of my sons attends university and he works his butt off each summer to put together his tuition/book money. What a dastardly/scummy/despicable action from father to son!
Good for you for taking him to court over this!
"I begged him to settle with me these last 4 months, but because Superman isnt afraid of anything or anybody, he refused"
Wow! Doesn't this just ring true! STBXAF got a DUI and has retained a lawyer, an expert witness and bought himself a new suit (gotta look good!) for his jury trial. He has a good job but hasn't got any money (wonder why!). He's prepared to drag this into the next century in order to "prove" he was not inebriated. Kind of a no brainer as to how the jury will rule. I wonder if he will pay extra for his lawyer to select a jury comprised of drinkers only!
"its coming real to him, yet his ego and pride are still his best friends"
Yup, yup, yup!
Please keep us posted on the outcome. Sending you positive thoughts.
ARL
Good for you for taking him to court over this!
"I begged him to settle with me these last 4 months, but because Superman isnt afraid of anything or anybody, he refused"
Wow! Doesn't this just ring true! STBXAF got a DUI and has retained a lawyer, an expert witness and bought himself a new suit (gotta look good!) for his jury trial. He has a good job but hasn't got any money (wonder why!). He's prepared to drag this into the next century in order to "prove" he was not inebriated. Kind of a no brainer as to how the jury will rule. I wonder if he will pay extra for his lawyer to select a jury comprised of drinkers only!
"its coming real to him, yet his ego and pride are still his best friends"
Yup, yup, yup!
Please keep us posted on the outcome. Sending you positive thoughts.
ARL
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
It's not just alkies.
My ex wife bought her boyfreind and herself a nice new Subarban with money that was willed to our daughters by a freindly old couple of guys that used to live across the street....
Yup. My old arch enemies !
My ex wife bought her boyfreind and herself a nice new Subarban with money that was willed to our daughters by a freindly old couple of guys that used to live across the street....
yet his ego and pride are still his best friends
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
It's not just alkies.
Sorry if it offended anyone it was certainly not my intention. I know there are ALOT of people in this world who have never touch drugs or alcohol that have done alot of HORRIBLE things! I have seen that-
So I apologize if anyone took offense to the way I stated my earlier post!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Blacksburg, VA
Posts: 191
Thank you CMC...I have absolutely no fear at all about going to court again withthis man. I have a power so much greater than me who's walking with me.
Its just so sad to see this man a mere shell of his former integrity. He is begging me to settle with him out of his own self centered fear. Its amazing what the disease does to people.....he didnt take it for real this day would come....until 2 weeks before. That is just as clear a sign as anything how denial just warps the mind.
I would settle, for sure, but there are too many details that will take too long to iron out and withour a lawyer to do that, I just take risk a chance of losing this date. Took me 4 months to get it. Perhaps the judge will help us settle it. But I dunno....he could go to jail. I dont think they take too kindly to a man stealing from his son.
I know I didnt.
Its just so sad to see this man a mere shell of his former integrity. He is begging me to settle with him out of his own self centered fear. Its amazing what the disease does to people.....he didnt take it for real this day would come....until 2 weeks before. That is just as clear a sign as anything how denial just warps the mind.
I would settle, for sure, but there are too many details that will take too long to iron out and withour a lawyer to do that, I just take risk a chance of losing this date. Took me 4 months to get it. Perhaps the judge will help us settle it. But I dunno....he could go to jail. I dont think they take too kindly to a man stealing from his son.
I know I didnt.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
Hey, BGP, I am so glad to hear that you are standing up for yourself and you son. I remember when you reported what the ex did back in March. It sounds as if he tune is changing a little now that you have him cornered like a rat in an alley, but the ME, ME, ME refrain is still coming through loud and clear. I would LOVE to hear what the judge says if your ex suggests in court that an account for you and your son be ste up in HIS own name. Like a judge would go for that pile of manure! Jeesh!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
(((((bgp)))))
let's play the devils advocate here and pretend that you would settle with him out of court and let him have another chance to make good on his "word". you know right where you would be, don't cha?????
sounds like he may be blowin the big ole smoke screen, hopin for his "magic" to find a way into a little crack in the feelings you had for him at one time.
i'm so grateful that you have pursued this with sanity and reason. i understand how difficult this has all been for you......stick to yer guns, girlfriend.
and hey.....expect for him to turn up the heat on the charm.....he will probably pull every trick out of the hat imaginable until the court date, trying to wiggle outta it.
don't be surprised at anything he may come up with.
love ya
jeri
let's play the devils advocate here and pretend that you would settle with him out of court and let him have another chance to make good on his "word". you know right where you would be, don't cha?????
sounds like he may be blowin the big ole smoke screen, hopin for his "magic" to find a way into a little crack in the feelings you had for him at one time.
i'm so grateful that you have pursued this with sanity and reason. i understand how difficult this has all been for you......stick to yer guns, girlfriend.
and hey.....expect for him to turn up the heat on the charm.....he will probably pull every trick out of the hat imaginable until the court date, trying to wiggle outta it.
don't be surprised at anything he may come up with.
love ya
jeri
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: To the East
Posts: 81
God it is good to see someone make a decision and follow thru with it, I bet he still thinks you won't take his sorry butt to court. I am so proud of you and you SHOULD be wearing big girl panties, you are a loving mother and are caring for your sons future and no matter what - you are following through. You are right, the judge will make the decisions on this one, it is really out of your hands though but I am so proud of you, you are a power of example to others. This is one of the hardest things for me to do - even though so many of my values and finances have been compromised, I am still having a hard time following thru..that is my biggest short coming. I know the outcome is going to be great for you and your son. God bless you and keep up the good work. you made my day with this thread.
You are a power of example, big time!!!
L
You are a power of example, big time!!!
L
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Blacksburg, VA
Posts: 191
hi again guys.....well, I got a free lunch at Starbucks today, coutesey of Mr. X...(thats his new code name, instead of $#(&)(@&#(^$%# drunk)...
he called for a meeting to discuss a settlement....I agreed after a lil begging...luv to see him beg...(I know, hit me with a wet fish)...
Saw him in parking lot, he pulls out a small photo album,gives to me, says its pics of our son...I said "I know what he looks like,thanks"..he tries to push it on me...I again refuse, then he opens it and says "look...theyre real nice"....now, you know, he dont'a really give a chit about our boy or his photos,,,,he's trying to "Emotinally fluff" me...ya know....make me see him as a caring, loving father...blah blah blah..linda like getting me high on family harmony before we speak about a settlement, so I will be all nice-y to him. He tried to "gas" me!! LOL
I refuse again and say I will leave if he doesnt stop. He stops.
We go into starbucks, I get a nice big sandwich and frappacino and say "Well, since youre buying, Im eating....you are buyin arent ya"...(Figure thats the LEAST he could do). He says yea, sure, Taanitaaaaaaaa" Thats my family nick name, minus the "ita"....thats the loving way latins say someones name who they love or are trying to emotionally manipulate into keeping them out of jail
So I say "So, now Im your Taanitaaaaaaa, huh"?..he says "YOuve always been my Taanitaaaaaa".....(Ok, guys, go get your boots on, the chit is starting to get thick).
The man was in desperate form...all the compliments,,photos...I was expecting a violin quartet to come strolling in playing "our" song.
So, we sit, I eat, he says he wants to do the right thing yada yada yada....to cut thru the crap...I heard:
"I have to have an operation next month, will be out of commission for 2 weeks"
I love my son and want to do right by him"
"I may not be able to make much money while Im out sick"
"I was a good father, I paid for him in the past etc"
"Why do you say these things about me in the court papers..."
So....when it comes down to the settlement, he clearly refuses to give me the bank statements showing the theft, tho I can see them, just cant keep them. Well, I cant really disect the docs in a 10 min meeting seeing how they go back 7 years.
So, once I see he was still trying to control, and it was all about him and his illness, I decided to leave. Proud to say I left very calmly saying it just wasnt working. Also proud to say when he told me about the surgery, I didnt bat a frgging eye lash nor say a word. I think he was hoping old codie girl would appear and be all worried about him. She didnt, cus she aint.....
So,,,,on way home, he calls with different strategy....threats and intimidation. Well, if nice nice doesnt work, by all means, start being a pr!ck.....didnt phase me...told him to keep it coming.....
lastly, hour later, he calls again, and starts being nice, begging to settle by Mon, which is HIS deadline for calling and hiring an attorney....LOL...2 whole days prior to the hearing. AFterall, he says, he doesnt WANT to hire an attorney and HAVE to pay him money that should go to our boy....but he will if I dont settle....ya see....its not like he could take that money and simply give to me NOW...as good faith deposit.....Not without my signature on a settlement...that would be, after all, NOT IN HIS BEST INTEREST....! tho it would be in our son's best interest....but its not really about our boy.......
LOL....Im not perturb at all...its just alcoholism doing its thing on him,.....I have zero fear at all...I just have sadness in seeing what a deserate skeeve he has become...very sad.......But....maybe this is HIS miracle...wrapped in Ch!t....this may bring him to his knees.....and to God....we will see....
he called for a meeting to discuss a settlement....I agreed after a lil begging...luv to see him beg...(I know, hit me with a wet fish)...
Saw him in parking lot, he pulls out a small photo album,gives to me, says its pics of our son...I said "I know what he looks like,thanks"..he tries to push it on me...I again refuse, then he opens it and says "look...theyre real nice"....now, you know, he dont'a really give a chit about our boy or his photos,,,,he's trying to "Emotinally fluff" me...ya know....make me see him as a caring, loving father...blah blah blah..linda like getting me high on family harmony before we speak about a settlement, so I will be all nice-y to him. He tried to "gas" me!! LOL
I refuse again and say I will leave if he doesnt stop. He stops.
We go into starbucks, I get a nice big sandwich and frappacino and say "Well, since youre buying, Im eating....you are buyin arent ya"...(Figure thats the LEAST he could do). He says yea, sure, Taanitaaaaaaaa" Thats my family nick name, minus the "ita"....thats the loving way latins say someones name who they love or are trying to emotionally manipulate into keeping them out of jail
So I say "So, now Im your Taanitaaaaaaa, huh"?..he says "YOuve always been my Taanitaaaaaa".....(Ok, guys, go get your boots on, the chit is starting to get thick).
The man was in desperate form...all the compliments,,photos...I was expecting a violin quartet to come strolling in playing "our" song.
So, we sit, I eat, he says he wants to do the right thing yada yada yada....to cut thru the crap...I heard:
"I have to have an operation next month, will be out of commission for 2 weeks"
I love my son and want to do right by him"
"I may not be able to make much money while Im out sick"
"I was a good father, I paid for him in the past etc"
"Why do you say these things about me in the court papers..."
So....when it comes down to the settlement, he clearly refuses to give me the bank statements showing the theft, tho I can see them, just cant keep them. Well, I cant really disect the docs in a 10 min meeting seeing how they go back 7 years.
So, once I see he was still trying to control, and it was all about him and his illness, I decided to leave. Proud to say I left very calmly saying it just wasnt working. Also proud to say when he told me about the surgery, I didnt bat a frgging eye lash nor say a word. I think he was hoping old codie girl would appear and be all worried about him. She didnt, cus she aint.....
So,,,,on way home, he calls with different strategy....threats and intimidation. Well, if nice nice doesnt work, by all means, start being a pr!ck.....didnt phase me...told him to keep it coming.....
lastly, hour later, he calls again, and starts being nice, begging to settle by Mon, which is HIS deadline for calling and hiring an attorney....LOL...2 whole days prior to the hearing. AFterall, he says, he doesnt WANT to hire an attorney and HAVE to pay him money that should go to our boy....but he will if I dont settle....ya see....its not like he could take that money and simply give to me NOW...as good faith deposit.....Not without my signature on a settlement...that would be, after all, NOT IN HIS BEST INTEREST....! tho it would be in our son's best interest....but its not really about our boy.......
LOL....Im not perturb at all...its just alcoholism doing its thing on him,.....I have zero fear at all...I just have sadness in seeing what a deserate skeeve he has become...very sad.......But....maybe this is HIS miracle...wrapped in Ch!t....this may bring him to his knees.....and to God....we will see....
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