amanda30

Well, today started off really well. I posted earlier about finding out that I'm getting into an inpatient program on Wednesday. And I am still very happy about that and know that is what I want to do.

Now, I feel like I am going crazy. I have not been at home since Saturday night. My husband will not allow it, and with good reason. At first he told me we were finished and he just couldn't go through this with me again. After he calmed down he told me that he would not file for divorce or give up on us as long as I did my part. He and I both know that I need to go to a halfway house or something like that after I finish my 30 day program. I'm not doing that because he wants me to but because that's what I know I need.

Since I've been gone some days he seems okay with me, and other times he seems really hateful to me. I have the greatest fear that he is only telling me that so that I will do what I need to do, but really has the intentions of ending our marriage. If he is telling me that and not really mean it, I feel it will only set me up for relapse after I do everything to stay sober.

If I go into this with all this on my mind, then that's what I am going to concentrate on no matter how hard I try not to. I don't know how to know if he is being honest with me. If he is just fed up and finished with our marriage I just need to know that now. I don't know how to get all of this off my mind or what to do about it.

I guess I just needed to get all that out. Thanks for listening.

Amanda

cookconfay

One day at a time and work on YOU. Everything will fall into place and be exactly as it should be.

barb dwyer

hi Amanda -

I know there's a lot going on ... and even more that LOOKS like it's actually happening. Welcome to early sobriety. Remember every bit of this!

You never have to drink again.
You'll never have to go through this again.
learn from it.
let yourself learn from it.

Fabulous-o about getting in to a recovery/treatment program.

There's quite a few just on this site .. who can't.
Now, as an outsider - *I* see that as HP working FOR you.

Now since I've been married four times ..
anything I have to say about husband ..
is probably going to be wrong.
Or less than ... 'good' advice.
So let's just stay outa there.

you're alive.
you're sober.
positive things ARE happening.
maybe just let your body begin the healing process?

we're here.

congratulations =- you didnt use today.
good job, hon.

parentrecovers

please be patient with your husband - he needs recovery time also.

and keep taking care of you...blessings, k