Wondering how your kids feel about addiction? Read on....
A work in progress....
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: FREE!!!! Somewhere in the Tennessee Mountains
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Wondering how your kids feel about addiction? Read on....
So many spouses wonder what the addiction of a parent is doing to their children as they make excuses to themselves about loving someone so much that they can't get the children the heck out of the situation. I know I did.......
My middle son posted this on his myspace blog last night; my DIL showed it to me. I will let him speak for himself (disregard spelling errors)......
"....... I've let go of the skeletons. I've let me childhood and mistakes haunt me for the last god blessed time. Dad, kiss my ass, you've done nothing but drag me down my whole life. Mom, i love you, you have always been there to pick me up and support me in everything and you'll be taken care of for that.........
You know dad..... i sit and wonder.....what would it have been like to have you there as you should have been. As a man and a mentor. One who would guide me and help me. One who would cheer instead of create chains that would bind me from running to where i needed to be. Why the hell were you so critical? Why did you tear me down. WHY DID YOU LAY A HAND ON ME?!?! I gave you a gift, not much but its the thought that counts right? Obiviously not to you. I gave you something that i put thought into and what did you do? Put a price tag on it for personal gain... I don't blame you though... i pitty you... you'll never know what it is to love... you will never know.... you were given plenty of chances.... and what did you do? You turned and ran for your own personal pleasures. It serves you right....and you'll perish for it. I still pray for you... cuz i still love you.... but those tears you caused became painful scars that i now give back to you. I'm sorry you never had a chance but you have no one to blame but yourself. Stop being a baby, face the past, and get what you've had coming to you for 25 years. thats the end of it.....
mom..... Often i wonder.... what would it have been like without you? I don't know where i'd be.... probably in some back ally with only love from the bottom of a bottle. You were there to smack my hand but to kiss it after. I love you for it and for all the mistakes and pain i've caused... i'm sorry... i know i don't need to appologize and you'll get mad just cause i did but i had to say it. God placed you in my life to turn me into who i am and you'll be returned for the favor. Give me a while, i'll handle everything.... love you....
God do wonder, how did i get here? How in the world was i given these things? What made me who i am? God, i know it was you, and i thank you....
Its time..... time to fight... and bleed... and cry....and laugh.... and smile.....i won't ever give up. From here on out its business. I won't quit until i make it, or die.... But dying is not an option.....hell, it ain't in the picture.....hahahahahaha......haha.... are you ready world? HAHA.... Ready or not here i come..... With a fight like a pit bull and a will stronger than steel.....i'm on my way.... my way to the stars....my highway has been a long one and i'm sure the rest of the miles in between and going to be rough..... stop me? haha... not a chance....maybe make me push harder... know why? cuz its what i love..... its the reason i cry everytime i see a good movie..... the reason i am overcome with tears with every concert i go to..... out of jealousy..... and envy.... cuz i know these people i am watching are doing what i dream of and what i desire the most.... not because of the fame or the money... no.... because i know when i'm doing it.... there will be another person.... just like i am now.... looking at me.... who needs fuel... fuel to feed the fire that burns within to make that person go to lengths he or she never thought she could....Its the "it" factor.... the thing that drives us to do these kind of things.... i don't know what it is.... or where it came from.... all i know is its there.... the kid will have "it"..... just like i do.... to go like i never thought i could..... thats the reason i HAVE to do what i'm going to do... I'll nver give up..... these tears streaming from my face now... to where i can even see the keys.... thats the fuel that feeds the fire.... the reason i KNOW i'll make it.... its not a possiblity or something that might happen.... its my future....I hope ya'll are ready.... Cuz its way past Miller Time.... Its my time now and nothing will stop me......get ready.... here.... i.... come.................."
__________________________________________________ ________
His dream is to act or sing professionally, by the way, if you are wondering what 'it' is that he wants so badly.
Singing praise on a mission trip in 2005
As Li'l Abner in 2003
Just thought I would share this; it touched me deeply. The bottom line is, no matter whether you think you are 'protecting' your kids from addiction and abuse or not, and I certainly thought I was, you are not if you keep playing the game.
My middle son posted this on his myspace blog last night; my DIL showed it to me. I will let him speak for himself (disregard spelling errors)......
"....... I've let go of the skeletons. I've let me childhood and mistakes haunt me for the last god blessed time. Dad, kiss my ass, you've done nothing but drag me down my whole life. Mom, i love you, you have always been there to pick me up and support me in everything and you'll be taken care of for that.........
You know dad..... i sit and wonder.....what would it have been like to have you there as you should have been. As a man and a mentor. One who would guide me and help me. One who would cheer instead of create chains that would bind me from running to where i needed to be. Why the hell were you so critical? Why did you tear me down. WHY DID YOU LAY A HAND ON ME?!?! I gave you a gift, not much but its the thought that counts right? Obiviously not to you. I gave you something that i put thought into and what did you do? Put a price tag on it for personal gain... I don't blame you though... i pitty you... you'll never know what it is to love... you will never know.... you were given plenty of chances.... and what did you do? You turned and ran for your own personal pleasures. It serves you right....and you'll perish for it. I still pray for you... cuz i still love you.... but those tears you caused became painful scars that i now give back to you. I'm sorry you never had a chance but you have no one to blame but yourself. Stop being a baby, face the past, and get what you've had coming to you for 25 years. thats the end of it.....
mom..... Often i wonder.... what would it have been like without you? I don't know where i'd be.... probably in some back ally with only love from the bottom of a bottle. You were there to smack my hand but to kiss it after. I love you for it and for all the mistakes and pain i've caused... i'm sorry... i know i don't need to appologize and you'll get mad just cause i did but i had to say it. God placed you in my life to turn me into who i am and you'll be returned for the favor. Give me a while, i'll handle everything.... love you....
God do wonder, how did i get here? How in the world was i given these things? What made me who i am? God, i know it was you, and i thank you....
Its time..... time to fight... and bleed... and cry....and laugh.... and smile.....i won't ever give up. From here on out its business. I won't quit until i make it, or die.... But dying is not an option.....hell, it ain't in the picture.....hahahahahaha......haha.... are you ready world? HAHA.... Ready or not here i come..... With a fight like a pit bull and a will stronger than steel.....i'm on my way.... my way to the stars....my highway has been a long one and i'm sure the rest of the miles in between and going to be rough..... stop me? haha... not a chance....maybe make me push harder... know why? cuz its what i love..... its the reason i cry everytime i see a good movie..... the reason i am overcome with tears with every concert i go to..... out of jealousy..... and envy.... cuz i know these people i am watching are doing what i dream of and what i desire the most.... not because of the fame or the money... no.... because i know when i'm doing it.... there will be another person.... just like i am now.... looking at me.... who needs fuel... fuel to feed the fire that burns within to make that person go to lengths he or she never thought she could....Its the "it" factor.... the thing that drives us to do these kind of things.... i don't know what it is.... or where it came from.... all i know is its there.... the kid will have "it"..... just like i do.... to go like i never thought i could..... thats the reason i HAVE to do what i'm going to do... I'll nver give up..... these tears streaming from my face now... to where i can even see the keys.... thats the fuel that feeds the fire.... the reason i KNOW i'll make it.... its not a possiblity or something that might happen.... its my future....I hope ya'll are ready.... Cuz its way past Miller Time.... Its my time now and nothing will stop me......get ready.... here.... i.... come.................."
__________________________________________________ ________
His dream is to act or sing professionally, by the way, if you are wondering what 'it' is that he wants so badly.
Singing praise on a mission trip in 2005
As Li'l Abner in 2003
Just thought I would share this; it touched me deeply. The bottom line is, no matter whether you think you are 'protecting' your kids from addiction and abuse or not, and I certainly thought I was, you are not if you keep playing the game.
Power is not having to respond
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
What a handsome and very talented young man with a big heart for his momma.
I know how he feels even at my age. I had an alcoholic mother.
My children had an alcoholic father who went to prison for life when they were 5 and 3. The oldest is now 28 and has had a terrible time with it. He fantasizes about a perfect life where his father was in his life. It's so sad really.
I know how he feels even at my age. I had an alcoholic mother.
My children had an alcoholic father who went to prison for life when they were 5 and 3. The oldest is now 28 and has had a terrible time with it. He fantasizes about a perfect life where his father was in his life. It's so sad really.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Seeking Peace
Posts: 1,371
((((Jen))))
Your son really is handsome!!
I left my exah when my son was 5...but I can't shield him from the consequences of his father's addiction. Even though my son isn't living in the chaos and insanity on a daily basis, he's still missing out on having a dependable father in his life. Its taken me a very long time to accept this...to really let go of my efforts to change this.
I hope my son is able to work thru his feelings when he gets older. Your post gives me hope that he'll be able to do it too.
Thanks for sharing...
Your son really is handsome!!
I left my exah when my son was 5...but I can't shield him from the consequences of his father's addiction. Even though my son isn't living in the chaos and insanity on a daily basis, he's still missing out on having a dependable father in his life. Its taken me a very long time to accept this...to really let go of my efforts to change this.
I hope my son is able to work thru his feelings when he gets older. Your post gives me hope that he'll be able to do it too.
Thanks for sharing...
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