new pastures
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Anchorage, AK
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new pastures
It never ceases to amaze me the speed with which our A partners move on to new pastures once we tell them we are leaving/moving out/filing for divorce. I almost want to laugh thinking of how we codies sit here for years hoping, struggling with the decision to leave, learning about alcoholism, worrying about our A loved ones........while they say "NEXT!" Marvelous.
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Aye, I heard today that my ex is on his second fiancee since me - that's 2 1/2 years.
I think it is a testament to my own sickness that I spent so much time wrapped up in his stuff. However, this joke always rings true as well in relation to how women can excessively analyse a situation:
HER SIDE OF THE STORY: He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit late but he didn`t say anything much about it.
The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I tried to cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me or something else. I asked him, and he said no. But I wasn`t really sure.
So anyway, in the cab on the way back to His house, I said that I love him and he just put His arm around me. I didn`t know what the hell that meant because you know he doesn`t say it back or anything. We finally got back to His place and I was wondering if he was going to dump me! So I tried to ask him about it but he just switched on the TV. Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to sleep. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and we had sex.
But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to leave but I just cried myself to sleep. I dunno, I just don`t know what he thinks anymore. I mean, do you think he`s met someone else??
HIS SIDE OF THE STORY: My team lost. Felt Kinda Tired. Got laid though.
I think it is a testament to my own sickness that I spent so much time wrapped up in his stuff. However, this joke always rings true as well in relation to how women can excessively analyse a situation:
HER SIDE OF THE STORY: He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit late but he didn`t say anything much about it.
The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I tried to cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me or something else. I asked him, and he said no. But I wasn`t really sure.
So anyway, in the cab on the way back to His house, I said that I love him and he just put His arm around me. I didn`t know what the hell that meant because you know he doesn`t say it back or anything. We finally got back to His place and I was wondering if he was going to dump me! So I tried to ask him about it but he just switched on the TV. Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to sleep. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and we had sex.
But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to leave but I just cried myself to sleep. I dunno, I just don`t know what he thinks anymore. I mean, do you think he`s met someone else??
HIS SIDE OF THE STORY: My team lost. Felt Kinda Tired. Got laid though.
Live, Laugh, Love
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Between Fenway and the Beach!
Posts: 1,301
....Oh my xabf just went back to his ex....to heck with meeting someone new after me i guess....GOOD LUCK TO HIM, worked out so well the first time around 
sucker!!!!
Hang in there, you deserve better!
P.S. I should add that he went back with her while we were STILL together and i thought he was "recovering"......GREAT GUY
sucker!!!! Hang in there, you deserve better!
P.S. I should add that he went back with her while we were STILL together and i thought he was "recovering"......GREAT GUY
Last edited by hbb; 07-27-2007 at 01:26 PM.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
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Originally Posted by an'ka 
It never ceases to amaze me the speed with which our A partners move on to new pastures once we tell them we are leaving/moving out/filing for divorce.
Becoming a Butterfly
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 904
It depends. My exAH has a gf now but it took a year before he starting really dating. Alcoholics aren't all totally alike as if they stamped them out in a factory in China or something
Lol
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
Originally Posted by Astro
I'm sure that's usually how it goes, but in my case my ex had the guy she had an affair with move in with her and our kids a week after she booted me out the door. So I guess that was her way of saying she was DONE with me?!
I had a few one night stands at first. Thinking that since I was married to my "first", others might be "better". It was entertaining, that's about it.
However, I've been single now for 4 years. Alone for 2 of those (the 1st 2 years) , and then my two daughters moved in with me 2 years after I left. ...Err, was kicked out.
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Location: Anchorage, AK
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Haha, Sue, of course everyone has a problem--she just hasn't found out about the extent of his.
Astro, "terminally unique"--you're killing me!
Well, my beautiful RAH, who by the way just returned from his two months of work and is now drinking, informed me this week that he has a girlfriend. I haven't even filed dissolution paperwork yet, but he has "made his peace with my decision to divorce and moved on". In his exact words, he still loves me and is saddened by the fact that I just couldn't tough it out. The selfish a** that I am could only stand the alcoholic rollercoaster for three puny years. Hehe.
. Astro, "terminally unique"--you're killing me!
Well, my beautiful RAH, who by the way just returned from his two months of work and is now drinking, informed me this week that he has a girlfriend. I haven't even filed dissolution paperwork yet, but he has "made his peace with my decision to divorce and moved on". In his exact words, he still loves me and is saddened by the fact that I just couldn't tough it out. The selfish a** that I am could only stand the alcoholic rollercoaster for three puny years. Hehe.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
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((an'ka)) and ((sue44sj)), let's send some ((hugs)) out to those other women, and send up some prayers too. God knows they might need them someday, right?
Power is not having to respond
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
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yeah, "NEXT..." as in I can't wait for another victim.
Where ever they go, there they are. They ruin everything they touch and jumping from relation to relation is proof they can't hold on to anything. Ever searching for someone to blame for their alcoholism.
Where ever they go, there they are. They ruin everything they touch and jumping from relation to relation is proof they can't hold on to anything. Ever searching for someone to blame for their alcoholism.
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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A story of two opposites - from my own experience
Okay, guys ... here's one for ya that covers the spectrum of how A's behave when dumped or booted out. If this doesn't take the cake NOTHING does!! I still shake my head and laugh about the insanity now: My exAH and I broke up in June 2000. At the beginning of November 2000 he came by to fix my computer. He also loaned me his car (a very, very nice Audi) while my car was in the shop being repaired. Being a good little codie, and having absolutely no recovery whatsoever, I didn't know this was (1) manipulation and (2) I could have found a ride to work somehow!
Well exAH started talking about us spending Thanksgiving together (yeah, with me doing all the cooking and cleaning up), and making noises about a reconciliation. Come Thanksgiving weekend, while I was on his computer (yes, I was even STUPID and jumped in the sack with the bum!), working on an online college course project, I found all these websites he was posting to. And there was his big mug in a photo with his profile. I had been in that photo, but he cropped me out. He was on at least six Internet dating sites reporting he was "single" and "looking for my soulmate - I'll know her when I see her!" YEAH, READ THAT TO MEAN MY NEXT VICTIM WHO IS A SUCKER FOR MY B.S.
That was a major wake-up call and the end of our "reconciliation." He was already trolling for babes online while talking about getting back together with me. LOL!!!!
The opposite side: my former AH's wife walked out for good in June 1998. His first date was with me in March 2001. He had not had a date in almost three years. And after knowing him this long, I am pretty sure that his fear of women and rejection - as well as his love of isolating when he gets drunk so he can throw a pity party - makes it entirely reasonable and believable that he really was not seeing anyone. Some A's enjoy wallowing in their own misery more than having a woman! Strange, but true. And my AH is one STRANGE dude!
Well exAH started talking about us spending Thanksgiving together (yeah, with me doing all the cooking and cleaning up), and making noises about a reconciliation. Come Thanksgiving weekend, while I was on his computer (yes, I was even STUPID and jumped in the sack with the bum!), working on an online college course project, I found all these websites he was posting to. And there was his big mug in a photo with his profile. I had been in that photo, but he cropped me out. He was on at least six Internet dating sites reporting he was "single" and "looking for my soulmate - I'll know her when I see her!" YEAH, READ THAT TO MEAN MY NEXT VICTIM WHO IS A SUCKER FOR MY B.S.
That was a major wake-up call and the end of our "reconciliation." He was already trolling for babes online while talking about getting back together with me. LOL!!!!
The opposite side: my former AH's wife walked out for good in June 1998. His first date was with me in March 2001. He had not had a date in almost three years. And after knowing him this long, I am pretty sure that his fear of women and rejection - as well as his love of isolating when he gets drunk so he can throw a pity party - makes it entirely reasonable and believable that he really was not seeing anyone. Some A's enjoy wallowing in their own misery more than having a woman! Strange, but true. And my AH is one STRANGE dude!
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