Tiredofthismess

My husband just came home and barged in and said that he wanted to detox in his own home. I told him he could not stay here to do that. I told him that these kids have been through enough. I also told him that I am not a medical professional. I told him that I would take him to the hospital or detox where they can deal with it. He is staying at his parents and he said he can't detox there(I think he doesn't want to). Then he walked off and said: "the high bridge is looking better. Tell my kids I loved them". I called the police and told them what he said.

God, God, was I wrong? Tremendous amount of guilt right now.

parentrecovers

you did the right thing. i'm glad you are taking care of you and your kids. and i will pray that your husband is able to make the right decisions.

blessings, k

PaperDolls

No, you're not wrong at all. You have to take care of you and your kids. Your H has to take care of himself and take responsibility for his own recovery.

As hard as it was, you did exactly the right thing in my opinion.

denny57

I could take someone back and they could still go jump off a bridge someday. I have NO CONTROL over someone else's choices. So I make choices that are right for me. Do you feel you did the right thing for you, and your children?

GlassPrisoner

You did the right thing for you and your children.

He might get 5150d. If so, he'll at least have medical supervision during de-tox.

Barbara52

You did what I would do in the same circumstance. I thnk you did exactly the right thing. {hugs}

MissesNormalDaD

mom, you did the rigght thing and whatever hedoes we need to keep in mind, it is his fault and his fault only, we cant change the natural events. dont worry, we will get through this. LOVE YOU LOTS! (hugshugshugshugs)

(i call her mom cuz she really is my mom, just so everyone understands that imnot some werid lol)


LoVe,
RyRy

Barbara52

{hugs} for you also MissesNormalDad. You are all going thru a real hard time.

parentrecovers

this might be our first mom/daughter tag team? i don't remember it before anyway..

minnie

((((kerri))))
(((RyRy))))

What was the alternative? Sometimes we have to make tough calls in life and they are especially hard when we are between a rock and a hard place. The most loving thing I can do for someone is to let them face the consequences of their own actions, because that is the only way that any of us grow.

When push comes to shove, taking care of you and the kids seems to be top priority. Your husband has many options open to him if he chooses to avail himself. The fact that he doesn't want to do so speaks volumes - and you would do well to listen when his actions shout, rather than taking heed of the whispered words.

Thinking of you.

dollydo

Quack,, Quack and more Quackery.

If he is going to jump, make sure he is not holding your hand when he does....your children need a responsible parent, and that is you, they must be your first priorty.

Yes, you did the right thing.

BigSis

I vote with the "right thing" crowd.

In a way, it set a good boundary. I think he was trying to manipulate you with fear ... to take him in. Instead, you took a rational action - the same one you would take if a complete stranger made the same comment.

And it may land him in a hospital - if so, good!! Maybe that is where he needs to be.

Please add my prayers for your peace and serenity... ((hugs))

kglast

yes, you did the right thing....and if he was just trying to manipulate you - there's one tactic he won't try again!

prodigal

When someone makes suicide threats, I take them seriously and call 911. My AH did something along those lines about six months ago, but I found out after I had walked out. Apparently told his boss and one of his brothers he was "suicidally depressed." It was a manipulation technique and it worked. Fortunately, I was NOT on the receiving end of that particular round of lunacy used to save his job.

I would not feel any remorse or regret over making the call, but I would detach from the "radioactive fallout" of the aftermath. If you hang around the blame-game long enough, you may be told you were the one responsible for driving him to the brink. I hope you realize deep down inside that you are not responsible for any of his actions or reactions.

veryregretful

I just had my husband leave two days ago. He alway said he wanted to do something to himself. Like drive his truck into a tree, hang himself, shoot himself, etc. I maybe wrong in what I do, but for me I just ignore him about that and if he really wanted to do himself in, he would do it whether I tried to stop in or not. I also know that I am not responsible for his suicidal thoughts. I think it is just one more way to beat me down and he wants me to take of him. I think my AH says those things just to get a reaction from me.

This is just my opinion

Good luck tired of this mess.

AWEDA

I heard the suicide threats so many times. Once I was sleeping and he was calling for me, I found him in the bathtub superficial wounds to his wrists. My sister said I should have just closed the door and left..........I said if you really wanted to die why did you call me in here? He constantly threatens this, the guilt was overwhelming at first, I now realize it's more manipulation on his part. If he someday does do it I know it has nothing to do with me.

respektingme

So sorry that you both are going through this. Yes, I agree you did the right and responsible thing. That's not always easy to do, but hellfire, in a situation like this SOMEBODY needs to make the difficult choices.

TexasGirl

Hugs to you both. I'm glad you have each other.

As far as the suicide threats, I heard many myself. Of course, I could never begin to predict what your AH will do or won't do, but I just know I too have heard those lines.