I told him to leave

Old 07-26-2007, 03:45 AM
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I told him to leave

I finally had enough of the verbal abuse and his alcoholism. I told him to leave yesterday. It was done civilly. He left. Why do I feel so bad about it? I know I'm doing the right thing for myself and the kids. I just want now to call him and tell him I love him and want him to make himself better and work things out. I feel the more I do that, the more I'll push him away right now. I don't want to push him away any more than I already have. He is staying at his brothers. I changed bank account numbers because the little money I have in the bank I need to take care of the kids and the house. I feel guilty about that too. The kids called him yesterday afternoon and told him they loved him, missed him and wanted him to get better. The kids birthday is on Sunday and what a great birthday present I gave them. Having their father leave. I'm having a little party for the kids on Sunday and I called my AH and invited him. He said yes he would come. He thought that I wouldn't want him to have anything to do with the kids. I told him their his kids and he is still their father. My family will be there and my family still love my AH. The love the sober AH, not the drunk AH. They are very supportive of me whether he stays drinking or if he gets help and he comes home. His family is actually very supportive of the situation. Even though he is their family, they want him better but they also care about the kids and my well being. This is very comforting to know. He was at my friends last night crying, not crying like I do, but actually tears going down his face. He also said that he isn't going to drink anymore. We'll have to see about that. That's a one day at a time thing. He was also taking alot about me and how we met and all the good things we did together. I hope that this is his bottom because I know it is mine. I still have the feeling I want to control him and fix him but I know I can't but how do you get rid of those feelings? Hopefully therapy will help me. My friend asked him about therapy and told him that I was going to go to therapy to help myself and he told her that he would go if it would help me. I guess that's a start. Maybe when he gets there he might open up to her and want to keep going for himself. I have a doctor's appt. today at 11:15 to get somethng to sleep and to get a list of therapists. Once I get home from there I'm going to make an appointment for the therapist. I'm also going to talk to her about taking the children to therapy along with alateen. I want them to know that their feelings are validated and it's okay to feel the way they feel. I'm trying to be very optimistic about the outcome of all this. I also know there is a big chance that he doesn't want to change so I am also preparing my self so I won't be disappointed. I did call him yesterday to ask him if we could talk about things civilly and he said give him a few days. So that's what I'm going to do. It's going to be hard but I have to do it. I really do miss him. No, I don't miss the drunk AH. I miss the tender, caring, loving, compassionate husband I married. I know everyone has heard all this before but it makes me feel better writing about it. Also, any advice would be greatly appreciated and if anybody's stories come close to mine might help me also. Now to go back to work and hopefully keep my mind off this for a little while.

Thanks
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Old 07-26-2007, 08:20 PM
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Hi there veryregretful,

Pardon me for intruding. This is a double post, I moved all the responses over here so you could get them all in one place. I hope you don't mind.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...him-leave.html

Mike
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