Explaining to small children
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 36
Explaining to small children
Hopefully soon I will be able to get into an inpatient treatment facility. My 8 year old I think I can be honest and explain it to.
I am concerned as to what to tell my 5 year old child. He just turned 5 and is a little immature for his age. I considered telling him I'm sick and trying to get better, but then he will worry because he will think I'm physically ill. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Of course my youngest child 1 1/2 can't understand anything. I hate that because he is just going to think I abandoned him.
I am concerned as to what to tell my 5 year old child. He just turned 5 and is a little immature for his age. I considered telling him I'm sick and trying to get better, but then he will worry because he will think I'm physically ill. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Of course my youngest child 1 1/2 can't understand anything. I hate that because he is just going to think I abandoned him.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,622
Hi Amanda,
That's tough. Sending hugs.
Make sure your children and in safe loving care and to what you have to do to get back to them healthy and strong. Maybe you could say that Mummy needs a rest for a little while and tell them that you love them and that you are coming back soon - say it lots - specially the love bit.
That's tough. Sending hugs.
Make sure your children and in safe loving care and to what you have to do to get back to them healthy and strong. Maybe you could say that Mummy needs a rest for a little while and tell them that you love them and that you are coming back soon - say it lots - specially the love bit.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
I think it is best to be honest..most likely your older child will tell the younger..
Maybe you could say you need to see the doctor but it will be awhile for you
to get better ...
This is a toughie..only you know what kind of care the children will have while
you are away..and you seem to have made arrangements for the best care...
I am sure they will handle the babies appropriately and with wisdom.
My best to you!
IO
Maybe you could say you need to see the doctor but it will be awhile for you
to get better ...
This is a toughie..only you know what kind of care the children will have while
you are away..and you seem to have made arrangements for the best care...
I am sure they will handle the babies appropriately and with wisdom.
My best to you!
IO
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Southwest PA USA
Posts: 339
Just be honest. You don't need to go into details. Just say you're sick and that what you're doing is the way to get better.
Kids have an uncanny ability to understand a bit more than we sometimes give the credit for.
Blessings and prayers to you and your family.
BHJ
Kids have an uncanny ability to understand a bit more than we sometimes give the credit for.
Blessings and prayers to you and your family.
BHJ
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
My kids were 8 and 11 when I went into treatment. I told them I was sick and needed to go away for a month to rest and get well. I called them about 3 times a week just so they wouldn't think otherwise - reminded them I would be home soon and loved them lots.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 36
Thank you all for your support. I know that they will be taken care of while I am away. They will be with with my husband and he is a wonderful father. All his family is in town and will help him out too. My family will take the kids when they can. When I have to I will find the right words to say to them.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,035
Hi Amanda,
My kids were 7 & 9 when I sobered up in 2005, checked into a mental hospital for a few days of evaluations, and they were present while my ex and I went through our divorce. I'm still amazed at how resilient and strong children are, through more pain and hurt than I thought I could ever handle. So much good advice has been suggested already, being honest worked best for me, there's only one more thing I'd like to share with you.
Stay clean & sober and your children will look up to you and respect you more than you ever thought was possible. Every day I share with my children in sobriety is a gift to me, I never realized how much love our lives would be filled with, how much we'd laugh and smile when we're together. Two years ago I started taking them with me to AA meetings on my custody nights, and since then they attend 2-3 meetings every week with me, the support my two little ones have given me in recovery is just awesome. We've made so many friends in AA and our lives are incredibly rich as a result of the program.
I wish you only the best in treatment. Be sure to check back in when you get home and give us an update on your progress.
My kids were 7 & 9 when I sobered up in 2005, checked into a mental hospital for a few days of evaluations, and they were present while my ex and I went through our divorce. I'm still amazed at how resilient and strong children are, through more pain and hurt than I thought I could ever handle. So much good advice has been suggested already, being honest worked best for me, there's only one more thing I'd like to share with you.
Stay clean & sober and your children will look up to you and respect you more than you ever thought was possible. Every day I share with my children in sobriety is a gift to me, I never realized how much love our lives would be filled with, how much we'd laugh and smile when we're together. Two years ago I started taking them with me to AA meetings on my custody nights, and since then they attend 2-3 meetings every week with me, the support my two little ones have given me in recovery is just awesome. We've made so many friends in AA and our lives are incredibly rich as a result of the program.
I wish you only the best in treatment. Be sure to check back in when you get home and give us an update on your progress.
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
My children were 23, 22, and 16 when I finally quit, so it wasn't necessary to explain anything to them. I'm grateful none of my grandchildren ever saw me under the influence...the oldest was born just two months after I quit. But, I didn't want them growing up thinking "alcoholic" was a dirty word, and I thought it important (since addictions/alcoholism run on both sides of the family), that they learn what recovering alcoholics do to stay sober. So, as soon as they were old enough, I took them with me to meetings whenever I could. It's worked out very well for all of us.
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