Hello all
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 4
Hello all
Well i finally came to see your site; a friend had mentioned it months and months ago...but of course why did I need a recovery place??!! I didnt have a problem...yeah, right....
I have been reading many posts and i now have to say...I'm an alcoholic and an addict. How stupid is this?? I thought i cant be that bad as i have never had blackouts (for example)..I was under the impression that blackouts were...well different. That they lasted for very long, that the person invariably got 'in trouble' in some way. Basically they were totally out of control. Not just forgetting goping to bed, or a conversation, or a whole movie, book, etc. From what i have read lately...I have been having blackouts for a good four years, if not more. That scares me.
So have i quit drinking? If last night was any indication...no. I was all set a few months ago...called a detox, got on a wait list..and waited..and waited..and waited...and the little doubts did their work and convinced me it was silly to go, i was being 'melodramatic'.
I 'could quit if i really wanted'. Sure you all know that line.
I also have MH issues which I'm medicated for (and believe me, that is a GOOD thing lol). But it has made it so easy to 'enhance' the drinking by popping a few extra of these or those or hell, all of them. Wonderful :o(.
I don't know what i'm expecting here. I feel a l ittle silly to be honest. I guess because i ahvent lost a spouse/house/job/great amounts of money to booze i feel like it isnt a problem and i AM being 'melodramatic'. And i honestly cannot decide if this is denial..or truth. Although i suspect denial just from what i have read, from your stories..I see myself in them.
I don't know if there is an AA near me. Yes, obviously i should check...but i'm honestly not comfortable with the basis of it?? Does that make sense? So it would have to be another type of program for me. (i hesitated to put that part as you all seem to have benefitted so much and here comes someone new saying they dont like it...pls know i mean no offense and i hope it is understood)
Wow...I can really ramble...sorry.
Thanks to all who read all this...
romp
I have been reading many posts and i now have to say...I'm an alcoholic and an addict. How stupid is this?? I thought i cant be that bad as i have never had blackouts (for example)..I was under the impression that blackouts were...well different. That they lasted for very long, that the person invariably got 'in trouble' in some way. Basically they were totally out of control. Not just forgetting goping to bed, or a conversation, or a whole movie, book, etc. From what i have read lately...I have been having blackouts for a good four years, if not more. That scares me.
So have i quit drinking? If last night was any indication...no. I was all set a few months ago...called a detox, got on a wait list..and waited..and waited..and waited...and the little doubts did their work and convinced me it was silly to go, i was being 'melodramatic'.
I 'could quit if i really wanted'. Sure you all know that line.
I also have MH issues which I'm medicated for (and believe me, that is a GOOD thing lol). But it has made it so easy to 'enhance' the drinking by popping a few extra of these or those or hell, all of them. Wonderful :o(.
I don't know what i'm expecting here. I feel a l ittle silly to be honest. I guess because i ahvent lost a spouse/house/job/great amounts of money to booze i feel like it isnt a problem and i AM being 'melodramatic'. And i honestly cannot decide if this is denial..or truth. Although i suspect denial just from what i have read, from your stories..I see myself in them.
I don't know if there is an AA near me. Yes, obviously i should check...but i'm honestly not comfortable with the basis of it?? Does that make sense? So it would have to be another type of program for me. (i hesitated to put that part as you all seem to have benefitted so much and here comes someone new saying they dont like it...pls know i mean no offense and i hope it is understood)
Wow...I can really ramble...sorry.
Thanks to all who read all this...
romp
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Hi and Welcome!
Of course, only you can decide if you are an alcoholic or not. I do know what you mean about blackouts. I found I was forgetting the end of a movie or a phone call, but it took me a long time to connect the dots and realize what was going on.
AA works for many, but whatever works for you is great. I'm not an AA person myself and I find that SR helps me a lot to stay connected with people who understand me. In my real life, people don't get it.
I hope you take a look around and feel comfortable.
Of course, only you can decide if you are an alcoholic or not. I do know what you mean about blackouts. I found I was forgetting the end of a movie or a phone call, but it took me a long time to connect the dots and realize what was going on.
AA works for many, but whatever works for you is great. I'm not an AA person myself and I find that SR helps me a lot to stay connected with people who understand me. In my real life, people don't get it.
I hope you take a look around and feel comfortable.
. You have found a good place here... no need to be afraid anymore. Read around a bit and check out the stickies and such. Lots of info and even better, there's a lot of support.
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