hello... my first thread.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 4
hello... my first thread.
hello, my name is kimberly. This is my first time telling anyone of the addiction that I am currently going through.
To start off, when I was younger... I had a rough patch of abusing just about anything I could get my hands on. I overcame it and became sober for nearly 4 years. I decided to use the experiences I had with drugs and go to school for drug and alcohol rehabilitation. I graduated, and have been in the field since. I am 25 now.
Within the last year and half, I have fallen. A good friend of mines gave me a pain reliever for merely having cramps. She gave me oxycotin. I should have known better... god I should have known better. But, yet I still took it... and now am very addicted.
I cant go more then a day without getting dope sick... and I dont know what to do. Who do I go to? This is MY JOB... to help others get over thier addictions... mean-while I have my own vicious secret that no one knows about. I feel like a failure and a hypocrite... I guess you could say I feel lost.
You all are the first people I have told.... God, I needed to tell someone. I am so involved with all the clinics rehab centers, that I feel like I cant go to them...
i dunno... this is my first attempt... and admitting to the cycle i have gotten myself into...
any advice will be greatly appreciated...
thank you.
To start off, when I was younger... I had a rough patch of abusing just about anything I could get my hands on. I overcame it and became sober for nearly 4 years. I decided to use the experiences I had with drugs and go to school for drug and alcohol rehabilitation. I graduated, and have been in the field since. I am 25 now.
Within the last year and half, I have fallen. A good friend of mines gave me a pain reliever for merely having cramps. She gave me oxycotin. I should have known better... god I should have known better. But, yet I still took it... and now am very addicted.
I cant go more then a day without getting dope sick... and I dont know what to do. Who do I go to? This is MY JOB... to help others get over thier addictions... mean-while I have my own vicious secret that no one knows about. I feel like a failure and a hypocrite... I guess you could say I feel lost.
You all are the first people I have told.... God, I needed to tell someone. I am so involved with all the clinics rehab centers, that I feel like I cant go to them...
i dunno... this is my first attempt... and admitting to the cycle i have gotten myself into...
any advice will be greatly appreciated...
thank you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 4
I dont know what to do... I know the staff and speakers for most of the aa and na in my area.
It's just tough. Persons that I speak with (who are in recovery) know my background, and perhaps why they feel so connected to me when seeking for MY advice. I feel as though I'm letting them down as well as myself.
sigh... i dunno... I have to do something though.
It's just tough. Persons that I speak with (who are in recovery) know my background, and perhaps why they feel so connected to me when seeking for MY advice. I feel as though I'm letting them down as well as myself.
sigh... i dunno... I have to do something though.
. I don't have experience with that drug, as alcohol was my problem... but I'm sure you'll have plenty of people here that can help you.
Welcome 
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Orange, Texas
Posts: 36
Admitting to your problem is your first step! I know you know that, but sometimes you need to hear it. So what if you know everyone.......tell them you need help and go for it before you ruin the rest of your life!
You will be OK!!
You will be OK!!
Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: A big city in, CA
Posts: 82
Welcome Kimberly! I'm glad you were brave enough to share your secret with us. Look around here, there are lots and lots of folks who can relate to what you're going through. I understand how scary it might be in your situation with work & all. Do you have someone you really trust that you can ask for help? If you are afraid of your anonymity, could you maybe go to a meeting in a nearby town? Just a few suggestions. I wish you the best! Keep posting and reading, it's a great place.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 39
Kimberly,
For the last 5 years I have also kept my addiciton a secret from everyone. My job, my husband and my friends. Also by way of denial I kept it a secret from my own self.
On July 1st I used alcohol and cocaine to major excess. It was pure insanity. The next day I dragged myself into work and called the Mental Health Division of my Insurance Provider. I was placed into Out Patient Treatment which I'm still attending, my work still doesn't know. My insurance company can't notify them.
I did come clean to my husband, obviously he had seen behavior in me that let him know something was going on but because of his job he is away alot which gave me the freedom to abuse drugs and alcohol in secret.
What I'm getting at is: Call your insurance company, see what they can do for you. Maybe you can take a leave of absence from work to detox and then you know what do from there, it's what you do for a living. You know that you will need help detoxing from the Oxy's.
I will be thinking of you and hoping you can get the help you need.
FC
For the last 5 years I have also kept my addiciton a secret from everyone. My job, my husband and my friends. Also by way of denial I kept it a secret from my own self.
On July 1st I used alcohol and cocaine to major excess. It was pure insanity. The next day I dragged myself into work and called the Mental Health Division of my Insurance Provider. I was placed into Out Patient Treatment which I'm still attending, my work still doesn't know. My insurance company can't notify them.
I did come clean to my husband, obviously he had seen behavior in me that let him know something was going on but because of his job he is away alot which gave me the freedom to abuse drugs and alcohol in secret.
What I'm getting at is: Call your insurance company, see what they can do for you. Maybe you can take a leave of absence from work to detox and then you know what do from there, it's what you do for a living. You know that you will need help detoxing from the Oxy's.
I will be thinking of you and hoping you can get the help you need.
FC
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Yes, Kimmilas you are definitely in the right place.
I wonder if you can talk to your dr about the problem and get his advice as to how to get off the oxycontins?
At any rate, you are not alone and you've found a great place to find support. Many of us feel like we have hidden our addictions and worked very hard to do that. Like FindingClarity, I drank alone mainly when my husband travelled, which was often. Admitting the problem is a great first step.
I wonder if you can talk to your dr about the problem and get his advice as to how to get off the oxycontins?
At any rate, you are not alone and you've found a great place to find support. Many of us feel like we have hidden our addictions and worked very hard to do that. Like FindingClarity, I drank alone mainly when my husband travelled, which was often. Admitting the problem is a great first step.
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