FallGirl

and drank at the casino last night. I thought I was strong and could handle being around alcohol, but it won...again. I can't even describe how I feel.... I'm sorta depressed, but I'm more numb - and that scares me.

Well, I'm off to get ready for school - thanks for listening.

FallGirl

slash

You are alive. You are sober so far today. Sometimes "One Day at a Time" is even a tall order. Try one second....you are only responsible for the moment in which you exist. Do it the best you can. YOu displayed humility in coming and telling on yourself. That's HUGE. sending love your way....

Astro

FallGirl, part of sobriety is staying away from slippery places that threaten our recovery. I'm a little over two years sober, I can handle about 1/2 hour in a bar and I wouldn't even consider getting near a casino.

If you haven't read it already, I highly recommend the book Living Sober. It's got some excellent suggestions for, well, "living sober".

indigo

Pick yourself dust yourself down and start all over again..I think that's an old song.

hugs

Anna

I'm glad you're back!

So, can you learn something from this? I had to stay away from certain places and certain people in order to stay sober.

Keep posting!

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

Hi..good for you for posting. That takes strength. Ditto what everyone else here said..

Big Hugs

Karen

parentrecovers

it's ok. you admitted it, that's a good sign of recovery. blessings, k

Missymae737

Welcome back to recovery...try to forgive yourself and take the necessary steps to put you on the road to recovery...

Keep posting, we are here for you...

Luckyv2

Even after almost 14 months of being clean, I would not jeopardized my clean time by going to places that serve alcohol. I have to protect my recovery at all cost. This is a gift and I am not willing to loose it. They say stay away from People, Places, and Things. And that is what all of us have to do.

I had to go get a key to open up our One Year NA Anniversary last night and the owner of the hall that we are renting owns a bar. She asked me to go get it. I was thinking of taking someone with me, but I felt that I was OK with it. When I got there, OMG it was like all that crap from the past came back, and not the crap that I hated but the crap that I LOVED> I had to get the key and leave! I probably won't be doing that again

stone

Hi Fallgirl, I know that numb feeling.

Its like you just cant believe it happened? You were so determined and sure you wouldnt drink and then BAM you wake up the next day and you had drunk.

Rowan

Hey Fallgirl,

I appreciate your honesty, and hope that you're going to stick around. Please keep posting - and Don't Quit today!

Rowan

bval

You did the right thing by posting and fessing up. Congratulations!

Lest you should be feeling like one (as many might be inclined in your shoes), allow me to remind you that failure is a relative term.

As I see it, what you did last night was:

SUCCESSFULLY
DETERMINE
WHAT DOES NOT WORK

People, places, things...

DON'T TEMPT FATE if you DON'T HAVE TO, girl.

Learn that lesson, stop drinking TODAY, and in the long run you might determine that last night was a WILD SUCCESS.

Grateful Heart

Hi FallGirl, just let today be your new sobriety date. And learn from your mistake! Best wishes to you.

FallGirl

Thank you everyone for your comments and support.
Yes anna - I have definately learned something. I've learned that I am not strong enough to be in certain situations/places, I probably won't be for a while. I need to have alot of sober days under my belt before I can even begin to think of going somewhere like that - if ever.
The thing that is so frustrating is that with my friends and family - summer is a busy time, theres always bbq's on the weekends - and we have alot of summer birthday parties! I want to go - but I need to put my sobriety first if I'm going to make it.
After writing that down though .... it sounds kinda lame! Because I also feel the same way around the holidays, and well.... I guess there's temptation everyday, if there wasn't I wouldn't be where I'm at would I?

FallGirl

Astro

Yep, for 27 years I used everything as an excuse to have a drink, every day that ended in the letters d-a-y was like a holiday, so I was a daily drinker.

Lemonade tastes pretty good at a BBQ, so does ice tea, club soda with lime. Last weekend at a BBQ a friend made me a drink that was 1/2 Rockstar, 1/2 pink grapefruit juice. It was yummy!!