new here. 16 yo son taking...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 215
new here. 16 yo son taking...
i found a hydrocodone 30 mg in my sons pocket. i didnt know what it was took it to the pharmacy and they told me. i should confront my son. i have been concerned about him. i have had him in short stay treatment for pot smoking. now this. what do i do? he is very thin and tired and lookinghim in the eyes he just seems diffferent i am just so scared
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Stratford, Ontario
Posts: 10
welcome to SR!! i am fairly new here too. i am scared for you. my daughter is only 2... i can't even imagine. i think you definitely should confront your son... but without anger. even if he gets angry with you... and he probably will. i don't know what else to say but everyone here will be praying for you
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Welcome...I'm so sorry for the pain and fear you are experiencing, but very glad you are reaching out. I think speaking with him is a good suggestion, but be prepared for him denying the pill is his or denying use. I don't know if he has an addiction, but from what you are explaining, it sure sounds as if he is headed down a path that could lead to addiction...opiates are awfully powerful and abuse can alter the brain and make quitting so difficult. While it is hard, I know, because he is so young, I think it is also a good thing because you can have some say in what happens. Please seek any assistance you can, perhaps speak to a school counselor, family doctor or a counselor from the program he attended.
I know you may feel guilty, but you did not cause this nor can you cure it. You can, however face the situation head on and not worry about hurting his feelings or making him angry. He is still a minor, so I would urge you to do all you can to try to address the situation now before it progresses. I also found face to face Naranon meetings helped me a lot to deal with how drugs and my child's addiction impacted me. Mom to mom hugs.
I know you may feel guilty, but you did not cause this nor can you cure it. You can, however face the situation head on and not worry about hurting his feelings or making him angry. He is still a minor, so I would urge you to do all you can to try to address the situation now before it progresses. I also found face to face Naranon meetings helped me a lot to deal with how drugs and my child's addiction impacted me. Mom to mom hugs.
remember to breathe
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: philadelphia pa
Posts: 1,280
Not only should you confront him, you need to keep right on top of this. the younger you can catch this the better life will be for you and him. I'm not saying your son is addicted of course but better safe than sorry. greet is right, don't worry about hurting his feelings or making him mad, so what, he'll be thankful later on in life. I'm the mother of a recovering heroin addict. My advice is from my experience. But of course it's just my opinion on the matter. I'm sorry if I sound like a cut and dry person I really am not, my heart breaks whenever I hear of a young person going down that road.
good luck to you
good luck to you
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Your Son is a minor who is using, abusing and most likely addicted. You only have 'til he's 18 to have legal influence. My son is 23 yr. old addict. I didn't see it when he was your son's age...but he had a problem. Now that he's adult he refuses treatment. You have the power to force treatment if that is what you think your son needs. In My opinion, knowing what I know now, DO whatever you have to do to get between your son and drugs, while he is a minor. Do not be afraid. Addicts lie, deny, get angry and manipulate. The disease is progressive. I along with some other parents helped another mom pick her 16 yr.old son up at school and drove him to a rehab. He has been there 3 mos. in a yr. program. He is a changed person already.Do what your have to do.
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
As a minor, this is one of the few times you CAN push for treatment.
We sent our daughter 4 times... no, she didn't get clean until she was ready - but each time brought her a little closer, broke through a little more of the delusion and the denial.
It was good for me, too.
Our insurance paid for the first couple of times, the courts paid for one and she did a quick (got kicked out) free rehab.
I wish you well.
PS - Daughter is clean over 2 years today, there is hope! (((hugs)))
We sent our daughter 4 times... no, she didn't get clean until she was ready - but each time brought her a little closer, broke through a little more of the delusion and the denial.
It was good for me, too.
Our insurance paid for the first couple of times, the courts paid for one and she did a quick (got kicked out) free rehab.
I wish you well.
PS - Daughter is clean over 2 years today, there is hope! (((hugs)))
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: dallas texas
Posts: 1,629
Another mom here! I agree, push and demand treatment while you can. Maybe he won't be like my 23yo daughter who is just maybe finally seeing what she has done to herself!
you're in the right place and in my prayers,
susan
you're in the right place and in my prayers,
susan
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
welcome....
i am the mom of a 36yr.old crack addict. it hurts even today to say that but i face his addiction head on today.he started drinking at 17 & then became addicted to crack.at the age of 23 he was doing his first prison term. that has been his life since,in & out of prison all due to drugs.i knew nothing about drugs & did not know how to help myself or my son.today i realize there is nothing i can do for him because he does not want the help.at age 16 maybe something will sink in with your son, maybe not.it is a long hard road with an addict.i have been in recovery for almost 4 yrs., & it has saved my life.please read all the stickys at the top of the forum. you can try counciling for your son.you can make him go but you can not keep him clean.read all the post & find a f.t.f. meeting for yourself. miracles happen everyday.i believe in them & i believe in magic. keep coming back & i am saying a prayer for you & your son.
i am the mom of a 36yr.old crack addict. it hurts even today to say that but i face his addiction head on today.he started drinking at 17 & then became addicted to crack.at the age of 23 he was doing his first prison term. that has been his life since,in & out of prison all due to drugs.i knew nothing about drugs & did not know how to help myself or my son.today i realize there is nothing i can do for him because he does not want the help.at age 16 maybe something will sink in with your son, maybe not.it is a long hard road with an addict.i have been in recovery for almost 4 yrs., & it has saved my life.please read all the stickys at the top of the forum. you can try counciling for your son.you can make him go but you can not keep him clean.read all the post & find a f.t.f. meeting for yourself. miracles happen everyday.i believe in them & i believe in magic. keep coming back & i am saying a prayer for you & your son.
Get Caught Reading
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
((((((Jehnifer))))))
I wish to God I would have done something more when my son was 16, smoking pot and drinking and spending way too much time away from home.
You have an opportunity to nip this thing in the bud right now, while he's still young. I say do what you can to force rehab.
My son is now 25. There was a time when he was shooting heroin and it lasted 5 years. I lost my son for 5 years.
I even had him arrested once for robbing my home. You have to do whatever you can to stop it.
It feels like a runaway train sometimes, huh?
Some of us can get off at the next stop (recovery)
Some of us ride till the train hits a brick wall (codependency)
Keep ridin' that train, but remember, the older he gets, the harder it's going to be.
You'll know when it's time to depart.
All said with love and understanding,
Linda
I wish to God I would have done something more when my son was 16, smoking pot and drinking and spending way too much time away from home.
You have an opportunity to nip this thing in the bud right now, while he's still young. I say do what you can to force rehab.
My son is now 25. There was a time when he was shooting heroin and it lasted 5 years. I lost my son for 5 years.
I even had him arrested once for robbing my home. You have to do whatever you can to stop it.
It feels like a runaway train sometimes, huh?
Some of us can get off at the next stop (recovery)
Some of us ride till the train hits a brick wall (codependency)
Keep ridin' that train, but remember, the older he gets, the harder it's going to be.
You'll know when it's time to depart.
All said with love and understanding,
Linda
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: homebased
Posts: 408
I am the mother of a recovering addict....he is away (has been away over a year) trying to reclaim his life...it's a long and difficult journey
I now know that he was abusing in his early teens...if I knew then what i know now I would have taken action....maybe it wouldn't have helped but it might have and I wish I'd had the chance to find out....
I cannot dwell on "what if" but I sure do wonder "what if I had known?...could we have dodged this bullet?"....
as someone stated...you have about 2 years of legal control....do all that you can....I pray your son does not walk the path so many of our children are on.....
I now know that he was abusing in his early teens...if I knew then what i know now I would have taken action....maybe it wouldn't have helped but it might have and I wish I'd had the chance to find out....
I cannot dwell on "what if" but I sure do wonder "what if I had known?...could we have dodged this bullet?"....
as someone stated...you have about 2 years of legal control....do all that you can....I pray your son does not walk the path so many of our children are on.....
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Looking back, I would have done some things differently, but I have no way of knowing if it would have mattered.
It's never to early to start setting and ENFORCING boundaries. Remember, boundaries are for you - what you will and will not tolerate, accept, etc. It's not about his stuff, it's about YOU. For example, I have a boundary that I don't want to smell cigarette smoke in my house, therefore no one smokes in my home. Period. Doesn't matter who you are, you can go outside if you feel a need to smoke.
Good luck, hugs from mom to mom
Cats
It's never to early to start setting and ENFORCING boundaries. Remember, boundaries are for you - what you will and will not tolerate, accept, etc. It's not about his stuff, it's about YOU. For example, I have a boundary that I don't want to smell cigarette smoke in my house, therefore no one smokes in my home. Period. Doesn't matter who you are, you can go outside if you feel a need to smoke.
Good luck, hugs from mom to mom
Cats
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 285
Another mom here. My recovering son is now 22 years old. I wish I had known that he was even experimenting when he was 16. I had no idea! He was trying every drug out there, he now confesses. Keep on top of him. At his age, you can force him into recovery and maybe you and he will have a chance. My son can't believe he wasted 4 years of his life, along with 2 cars and all of his savings. Hang in there. You are in my prayers and keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Orange, Texas
Posts: 36
Get him the help he needs NOW. My son is now 22 yesr old and has completed rehab and is in a recovery home. If I had known what I know now and knew where to turn...then maybe I wouldn's have had problems. But hindsite is 20-20. Take the advice you get here. We know what can happen if you don't help!
You are in my prayers.
Lou Ann
You are in my prayers.
Lou Ann
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