longingforpeace

I'm having trouble with cravings and wanting to numb out how overwhelmed I feel. I don't have enough faith yet that things will resolve in time. I had a phone screen today for a potential job. My concentration was so bad that I just bumbled my way through. Needless to say the call ended politely with no offer for another interview. I think I need to put out here a little of what is overwhelming-maybe you all can help me hold and pray with me for strength,courage and wisdom. I found out I have emphysema which is hard since I did this to myelf through smoking various things. My dad is dying (my mom died 11 years ago of cancer) of cancer. My relationship is in trouble and I have no money,no job, a car that doesn't run well, bad credit and tons and tons of debt for school (although honestly some of it wasn't used as it was intended). I have a job interview on Monday with the same company that my BF works. I'm so desperate that I'm considering taking it as it looks like I'll need to move out of here within the next couple months. I'm also acting all punitive with him and that doesn't feel good for either one of us. These are the things going around and around in my head all night last night (barely slept) and all day today. I'm a bit weary of posting but I'm in trouble. I just don't know what to do. I'm going to find a meeting to go to today. Please help me let go of this stuff.

GlassPrisoner

Put recovery first. Everything falls in line eventually. Not on out terms, or in our time frame, but it does happen.

I'm going through some tough times too. I just accepted being the chair for a meeting last night. More service !

longingforpeace

That's great (though scary) to accept being a chair at a meeting. Even though things are tough, feel free to talk about it if you want.

parentrecovers

Glad you came and posted, Longing. Getting to a meeting a great idea. Meanwhile, when I struggle in my recovery, I like to use these tools...


The Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

The first three steps of AA:

# 1 We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.

# 2 Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

# 3 Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

Blessings, K

teej

Way to go GP!! I'm sure everyone will learn from your share!!

Longing. Hang in there girl. DONT listen to the part of your brain that tells you its ok to use. Just fight it and keep busy. I know it's hard, I'm right here with you.

Astro

Find that meeting, keep going, eventually you'll have the tools to let go of what troubles you.

Sending up prayers for you.

Anna

Hi Longing,

It does seem like you have a lot going on right now and I see that it can seem overwhelming.

Can you try to focus on just one thing at a time? I like to make lists and I find it helps me see that I'm making some progress. Focus on your recovery and trying to remain positive. Having faith is very hard, but it's the key. Believe that things will work out and your attitude will affect the outcome.

Rowan

I'm sorry that you are struggling with so much right now.

A meeting would definitely be at the top of my list of priorities. Drinking will only put things off for a while - the same problems will be there (and more) when you sober up. Do whatever you can to hang on to your sobriety. I know it's hard, but you can do it. Right there with you. Get to that meeting, and keep posting.

Rowan

scaredykat

Hi Long, I think your on Day 4 today like me? I'm also very tired myself yet. I'm just trying to keep things as simple as possible for myself. That seems to be working right now for me. I've also changed some things like not drinking coke-cola because i know it will be a trigger for me. I'm now drinking flavored water. It's really good. I also do fun things in my life so I don't get depressed about drinking. Like reading my romance novel, watching my soaps, enjoying nature. I have a lot to worry about myself and I'm trying not to worry about them and just stay in today. I hope this helps a little. I feel like I'm not much help to any one yet.

Hang in there and keep posting and reading it helps.

Barb

Aysha

Longing..I am so sorry to hear you are going through that.
That is alot to have on your plate. But like Glass said...Put recovery first.
I am here for you if you need me.
As you did me...you are in my thoughts.
Much love..

BaldHeadedJohn

I don't have advice for you on this one, Longing. Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you.

Blessings to you.

BHJ

bval

lfp:

I gotta hit my 7pm meeting, but I'll PM you later, okay? Hang in there ... I second your idea of the meeting HIGHLY.

But before I run out here:
You are trying to do WAY TOO MUCH ... what are you, like, 5 or 6 days into w/d's from narcotics? Haircut yesterday, job interviews today ... I understand these pressing money/car/health issues but seriously here ...

ARE YOU NUTS (don't answer that ... rhetorical question) GIRL!?!
CHILL!
RELAX!
RECOVER FIRST!
PLEASE!


ps: I'm really sorry to hear about your (what's hopefully just a touch of the) emphysema. Such a weak thing to say about it but I hafta run ...

Sunshine7979

I hope everything goes okay.....Need to talk I am here...Relax and take good care of your self

parentrecovers

longing - you doing ok?