Misscat

...Not drinking at all.
At night I'll usually drink a little, but can usually stop at two but one I start to feel a little buzz, I have noticed that I start to feel impulsive, wanting drugs, etc. But I havnt done ANY drugs at all, thankfully, have been staying away from those.
I am just finding it hard not to have that one or two glasses of wine at night. Its not so much that I cant control the drinking, its that I dont like the way I start thinking when I drink, it leads me to want other things.
I am sad because I am having a mental roadblock agains cutting out alcohol alltogether. I dont know what's stopping me. I feel weak, or conflicted, I dont know. I dont want to let it bring me to making poor decisions.

Anna

Hi Misscat,

I'm going to be honest with you. You say that you can control your drinking, but that it leads to wanting other things, like drugs. That tells me, you can't control your drinking. Only you can decide if you are an alcoholic, and if you are, then you can't drink.

I understand not wanting to believe you can't drinking anymore. It's a very hard thing to accept. It was a big stumbling block for me too. But, I found when I drank and tried to control it, I was obsessing about it. For me, stopping drinking freed me to be able to live my life fully.

PaperDolls

There's one good reason to abstain. Take it one day at a time, don't think about it in the long-term.

Glad you're here Misscat.

parentrecovers

thanks for your honest post, misscat - sending you encouragement, k

medievalknievel

That's been a big problem for me to, the old "well one or two drinks won't hurt anything" mentality. A glass or two of wine in the evening won't do any harm to most people, but as an addict, maintaining impulse control has to be first priority. I know I've tried just having one or two drinks, but once I get a buzz on it's all downhill from there. I've replaced wine with tea and I've found it's really more the ritual that helps me to relax and tea doesn't increase the likelihood that I'm going to do something stupid. Good luck to you

<3
Bob

Misscat

thats a good idea...nice and simple...

thanks everyone, i appreciate feeling like i am cared for.

Missymae737

You are cared for....

Lilybug

I know how you feel. Alcohol was never my problem. I keep thinking that I can have a drink or two, but then I have to step back and catch myself, because I haven't gone through these last 3 weeks of hell just to fall back into the same old routine.

Aducksdelight

Misscat, you probably know in your gut that drinking isn't going to be the answer for you and you are likely going to have to give it up. I sure as H didn't listen to my gut and alcohol, though never my DOC, led me to it. I always had those thoughts because alcohol was never enough for me. I knew when it did lead me there that I couldn't drink anymore. It's fifteen minutes at a time sometimes but my life is better for having no drugs, period.

Aysha

If drinking is causing other thoughts..Like Anna said...That is not control. So maybe dont drink either.
And yes you are cared for here and we are all always here for you. Much love and I am thinking of you.

IO Storm

Wow..can I relate to what you share Misscat..

And especially to what Anna siad..

"But, I found when I drank and tried to control it, I was obsessing about it. "


I rememeber trying to sober up..but I was smoking a lot of weed..

I was going to AA..and practicing what they call "marijuana maintnance".

I could only put together a few hours of sobriety...weed was the gateway

drug that boomed in my head..

"this is not good enough".."get some booze in ya! " "And quick!"

I was ALWAYS obsessing about alcohol. I recall one time..lying in bed..

praying for God to remove the obsession of alcohol...an hour after smoking

a joint, and literally jumped off the bed and ran (barefoot) to the corner

store for a six pack!

It is sort of like what you are going thru in reverse.

For me..total abstinence..was the only way I could get sober.

Love to you, M

Sherry