unsure of

Well this weekend home went as i excepted. i was a mess with emotions (from dealing with my family not RA) but i kept repeating the serentiy prayer and asked myself how important is it? well i do believe i lost it once, when my sister pushed one of my buttons but this time i pushed back and she didn't like it. it worked! i set a boundary with her. the boundary is: when i can no longer sit there listening to her toot her own horn i will call her out on it or i'll leave. Well i called her out on it and guess what she shut up and i didn't have to here her bs the rest of the weekend. go me! (because in the past i would have listen to her bs and been mad and obessive about not calling her out on it.

anyway, now my RA. well he didn't call me on friday like he said he would. so saturday i went to my reunion thinking ok he just said he'd call me on friday and talk more about not talking until he got his year clean. well i had a great time at my reunion and didn't even once think of checking my phone. well about 11pm on my way home from the reunion i checked my voice mail:

"hey it's me. sorry i didn't call you yesterday but i'll be home until 8pm if you want to call me back .....if not i'll talk to you whenever....."

well one i wa glad it was after 8pm so i couldn't call him back even if i wanted too. but i didn't want to call him back because i had too much to do. i was strong the whole weekend. Until my plane landed last night, i whipped out my cell and called my parents to let them know i had landed ok and was on my way home. than it hit me....... i can't call him to let him know i was ok. it was a strange empty feeling that made me actually frown.

see, i knew i could get through this weekend without a problem not contacting him. but boy when my extended weekend was offically over, i realized how hard this is going to be for me. i am going to a meeting tonight, which should help i should have called my sponsor but i didn't i'll see her tonight and we'll talk.

i don't really want to talk about how $hitty i feel without talking with him. i'm not worried about him or anything like that i just wanted to talk to him about my weekend.

anyway dinner is ready and i'm off to my meeting have a good one everyone.

thanks

Wascally Wabbit

You stayed busy! That's how we get through emotionaly trying times.
You can do it now, you;ve just proved it to yourself!

hope213

you did really great with your sister.i am glad your weekend went good. things will get easier as you get stronger.prayers, hope