my family circle
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
my family circle
Something I have waited for many years happened in my home tonight.
I had all my kids here, plus a son we 'picked up' along the way and my recovering son's new girlfriend. AS has not been home for a year and a half. Before he was arrested he had been in and out (mostly out) using since Sept of 05. After being clean for 9 months, he had a 'run' that ended with him in jail for over 11 months.
This evening everyone was happy and got along beautifully- the older guys had brought along some things for AS to use in the room he's renting. At one time all three of my guys lived together, as roomies in their first apartment. I don't need to tell you what it was like for my oldest and 'adopted' son to experience living with an active addict, yet they were so happy to be here to welcome their brother home. I believe that my daughter is just beginning to process alot of the pain that we all endured during these years. She is the oldest and AS, being the youngest brother was in some ways 'her baby' too. We were all a bit on edge before the visit.
Our family has struggled recently with losing my mother-in-law, my cherished aunt and having my husband diagnosed with a debilating condition, plus some other serious extended family problems. The career I was working at and working towards advancement in...all fell through and our lives changed radically in so many ways. To say that our lives were turned upside down is a huge understatement.
Jail terms, many attempts at the halfway house, plus 2 successful terms there, boot camp plus one more halfway facility- have finally brought my son to his senses. His faith in God is stronger than ever and he knows that his strong spiritual connection is making a difference in his recovery. He has over 16 months of clean time.
Things are looking brighter for him than ever before. He has a good job and is in training for advancement. He met a lovely young lady who seems to be just what he has been praying and waiting for. We all liked her from the start, she has a very strong faith in God and has pretty much laid down the law on a few things with him and he respects that. He quit smoking too!
All these blessings and I still (darn it I have to be honest) have moments of awfulizing...there is probation to deal with and all the struggles AS faces starting with absolutly nothing. There are many setbacks to overcome and I believe he will. It's taking alot out of me to 'risk' believing this and I'm struggling with some worries and fears. I'm working on that, and making good progress- but the memories are still present.
I have to actively stay in today, accept what is and hope for good things to come. Being a former teacher I measure success and would in fairness give myself a B-...which is hard for me since I'm an A only type- but I'm very happy with the B and will allow myself some room to improve. Some days that difference between the B and A... seems huge and somedays not at all.
Tonight I am one grateful codie. I'm crying for happiness.
I had all my kids here, plus a son we 'picked up' along the way and my recovering son's new girlfriend. AS has not been home for a year and a half. Before he was arrested he had been in and out (mostly out) using since Sept of 05. After being clean for 9 months, he had a 'run' that ended with him in jail for over 11 months.
This evening everyone was happy and got along beautifully- the older guys had brought along some things for AS to use in the room he's renting. At one time all three of my guys lived together, as roomies in their first apartment. I don't need to tell you what it was like for my oldest and 'adopted' son to experience living with an active addict, yet they were so happy to be here to welcome their brother home. I believe that my daughter is just beginning to process alot of the pain that we all endured during these years. She is the oldest and AS, being the youngest brother was in some ways 'her baby' too. We were all a bit on edge before the visit.
Our family has struggled recently with losing my mother-in-law, my cherished aunt and having my husband diagnosed with a debilating condition, plus some other serious extended family problems. The career I was working at and working towards advancement in...all fell through and our lives changed radically in so many ways. To say that our lives were turned upside down is a huge understatement.
Jail terms, many attempts at the halfway house, plus 2 successful terms there, boot camp plus one more halfway facility- have finally brought my son to his senses. His faith in God is stronger than ever and he knows that his strong spiritual connection is making a difference in his recovery. He has over 16 months of clean time.
Things are looking brighter for him than ever before. He has a good job and is in training for advancement. He met a lovely young lady who seems to be just what he has been praying and waiting for. We all liked her from the start, she has a very strong faith in God and has pretty much laid down the law on a few things with him and he respects that. He quit smoking too!
All these blessings and I still (darn it I have to be honest) have moments of awfulizing...there is probation to deal with and all the struggles AS faces starting with absolutly nothing. There are many setbacks to overcome and I believe he will. It's taking alot out of me to 'risk' believing this and I'm struggling with some worries and fears. I'm working on that, and making good progress- but the memories are still present.
I have to actively stay in today, accept what is and hope for good things to come. Being a former teacher I measure success and would in fairness give myself a B-...which is hard for me since I'm an A only type- but I'm very happy with the B and will allow myself some room to improve. Some days that difference between the B and A... seems huge and somedays not at all.
Tonight I am one grateful codie. I'm crying for happiness.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
i know how wonderful it is to get all your children home together. those are the times i look forward too.it does not happen but every few yrs. with me either.i am glad it turned out so good for you.i am also happy your a.s. is doing so well.i hope for the best for mine but have no expections for him...you have your plate full & i am saying a prayer for you & your family.hugs,
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: GO PENS
Posts: 1,151
So glad for you........It sure does something to a mothers heart to see all of her children in one spot together and all enjoying each others company. What I would give for that. I am hoping my day will come.........it just seems so far away.
Keep that memory close and keep the happy in your heart.
Blessings on you and your family................Lo
Keep that memory close and keep the happy in your heart.
Blessings on you and your family................Lo
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
How wonderful it must have been to have all the fmaily together. Just remember it is okay to look to the past, just don't stare.
A B is great! Recovery is lifelong so you have to have that A as the goal at the finish line! Hugs and prayers...I'm just so happy that for today life is good for you.
A B is great! Recovery is lifelong so you have to have that A as the goal at the finish line! Hugs and prayers...I'm just so happy that for today life is good for you.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I to am happy for you and your special time with your family. I spent last weekend at a small family wedding and I also found a closeness and love for each one of my family.
I think a gift of recovery is recognizing these moments and feeling the gratitude and love that they bring. Another gift is being able to stay in "today" and let tomorrow unfold as it will.
Life is ever changing with good days and not so good, but remembering that each day brings its own gift helps me enjoy each one of them.
May your family be blessed with the love and happiness today brings each one of you.
Hugs
I think a gift of recovery is recognizing these moments and feeling the gratitude and love that they bring. Another gift is being able to stay in "today" and let tomorrow unfold as it will.
Life is ever changing with good days and not so good, but remembering that each day brings its own gift helps me enjoy each one of them.
May your family be blessed with the love and happiness today brings each one of you.
Hugs
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