cece1960

No...more like I tumbled down a steep hill called "my recovery"
For a good while I've done well...but so has my son. Easy when you think of it - he does well, I do well - but thats not recovery, ya know?

Yesterday my son's GF dumped him for another guy - a cowboy no less - and he's taking it very hard. My son, the 210 lb construction worker, was cut loose in favor of a 120lb kid-man who plays with horses. (Nothing against horses, its just adds to his humiliation)

So he did what any red-neck guy in crisis would do, he hit the bar to drown his sorrows. And by ten I hit the phone telling him "ENOUGH" and it was time to come home...I'd pick him up. Ten minutes later he walked in, quite pickled, and I let him have it.

I yelled (complete with arms flapping) and reminded him what a DUI would do to him, what he could have done to an innocent driver, and of course what wrapping himself around a tree solved. Of course, in his current state he mentioned that the latter would do him a favor.

I SNAPPED even more...I broke. I screamed that if he didn't give a rats A$$ about himself I did.

A few drunk dials later to the GF, and him SOBBING over what his "life" was without her I finally went to bed. I slept because I knew he was home, and finally safe.

I've gotten very lazy in my work on recovery. I've been focusing on me, all well and good, but not "me" as it relates to my loved ones. Apparently thats the hard part (ya THINK?!)
Back to step one...I've left it too far behind.

I suppose I should be thankful that at least this trip I have a map.

((((Hugs)))
Cece

lostparent

Sorry that happened to your son break ups hurt a lot. Here's hoping that he has a really bad hang over, as an reminder to him not to do it again. As for you sounds like you were taken by surprise an just went with your gut reaction, but now have yourself together again.
Will say a prayer for your son that he now realizes the girl is not worth hurting himself for.

marle

Cece, Reminding him about driving drunk and getting a DUI or into an accident is not a bad thing to do. Heck I would do that to anyone, addict or not. Hugs, Marle

dollydo

Cece,

I had to laugh when I read the "Arms Flapping" part, I've done that too!

Sounds like you know what you need to do, as for your son, let's hope this was just a slip. Under stress, it's easy to crawl back in the bottle.

cece1960

Oh I have no problem with what I said to him. My problem is what his actions DID to my insides.
The whole evening I sat waiting, gut in knots, pacing for him to get home safe. I knew that while he usually displays responsible behavior these days, all bets were off last night. He was in a self destructive mode.
And I was ANGRY.

Its been a while since I felt like that and I don't miss it one bit.

marle

Yup, I did a little of that myself yesterday when I found out about my daughter's bad check. I almost didn't go visit my mom and family and then I told myself that there was nothing I could do, the die was cast. So I went and had a good time. Slept okay too. The thing is that I didn't go looking for the drama, all I wanted was some money to take my family out to dinner. I guess I should have just mastercarded it Good thing my daughter is not around anymore because I probably would have done more than just flapped my arms, I probably would have done some swinging. Hugs, Marle

hope213

cece, at least he was not so s*it faced he did not listen.he came home.you did what we all would do as far as the speech went.today is a new day. i hope it will be better for you & him both.

greeteachday

Ahhh, Cece...been there done that and like the alcoholic or addict feels that guilt and shame when they slip, I recognize those feeling when I have worked myself into that raving madwoman. It is really easy to get casual when things are easy...I know I've been there too often and am glad my legs are long enough to give myself a kick in the butt sometimes

Go have a wonderful vacation...relax (but don't be complacent ) I suspect that once sober there will be something positive that occurs in the Cece and son interaction this week...positive for both of you. And I know as angry as you felt with him, your heart was hurting for that boy turned man whose heart is temporaily broken.
Hugs and prayers

Wascally Wabbit

Hi Cece,
At least he came home and you know he's ok.
Tomorrow is another day to start over.
Dont' be too hard on yourself. You're doing what any mom would do.

teke

sorry that this has happened, keeping you and your son in my prayers.

frankie_b

We are all human so be gentle with yourself Cece. I think your program is solid and you are a Mom with feelings.

nevergivingup

Just sending out some big ole hugs!!!! (((Cece)))

BigSis

Well... there's a "slip" and there's a relapse (tho I'll be danged if I know the real difference).

What I do know is that because of your awareness, you will do the next right thing. Got a meeting nearby? If not, maybe time to start one -they look a lot like SR, only in person... and far more intense (for me) on the receiving end of the good stuff.



You deserve a great life - I believe you will continue to do your best to have one. I am sending prayers up right now... ((hugs))

historyteach

Ya know, Cece,
I can relate all too well right now to your story...
But, the GOOD news is, we both seems to catch ourselves faster than we once did when we DO slip!
And *that's* progress.
Not perfection, but, progress none the less!

I'll take that anyday over what it *used* to be like!

Shalom!

bookmiser

I totally agree with teach.
Gosh! If I had to go back and relive
the way it used to be for me....
That nervous, gut wretching feeling of helplessness
and overwhelming sense of panic.
I knew those feelings all too well.
So ya slipped? Big deal.
We all get into a lazy place when we think our addict has stablized
for a while.
It's about keeping our minds sane. Whatever works.
My son has become very emotionally dependent upon a woman he's been
seeing for about 3 months now. She's 36 to his 25. I have nothing against the woman, it's just that I know my son and the "addictions" he carries around for anything that alters his universe.
It (anything) becomes his world and he has to live and breathe it constantly.
It's heartwretching to watch. Especially when he's sure to get hurt from it and
we want to do all we can for theirs and our own sanity.
Sending prayers up for you and your son. I pray he gets into a better mind set over the gf and is able to move on without the relapse reprocussions.
Tell him, most woman prefer construction workers to cowboys, anyday.
Hugs,
Linda