thinkmink

I just don't know anymore. I can't say that I will or will not be able to work it out so that my AH and I can stay married. We are entering counseling soon. I am looking forward to being able to speak freely without being interupted or immediately countered by how wrong everything I said was. My Ah cares a whole lot more what other people think of him than what I do. He is one of those angel on the streets, devil at home kind of guys. He told me today how much of a sweet guy he was and how everybody thought so. I told him "I am sure everyone does think that, but you treat me differently than you treat anyone else. Are you sweet to me?" He said, "No". I said, "People aren't who they say or think they are, they are what they do." I didn't go into this, but it's just like him saying and thinking he isn't an alcoholic...doesn't mean that he isn't. I keep praying to God. I say the serenity prayer, I ask for comfort, guidence, and to be closer to God for not only myself-but my child and my husband too. This situation has been hard on all of us. I think God is helping though. Ordinarily, I think I would be completely filled with worry. But I am not. Not to say that I don't feel some anxiety about it. Of course I do. But I am not literally shaking about it like I would have been before and that is amazing. I think the prayer is working for my AH too. He just said today that he was looking into going to some church. Maybe it's a sign that God is pulling him closer. I hope so.

MsGolightly

well, it sounds like you've come some ways in being more sure of yourself and what's happening around you. i hope counseling helps both of you and your marriage. thinking of you!