Day 3 of son's arrest....
Day 3 of son's arrest....
Well, he has been calling me repeatedly, asking me to put up the bail ($1000) like i have that, and I have told him no. Can I tell you a secret though? I seriously considered it for a bit. How's that for a flaming codie? He was crying tonight, begging me to get him into rehab now. What a difference three days make! He blew off two appointments to rehab in the last 2 weeks and now he's dying to go. Oh, my heart is so sad tonight. But I am strong in my resolve. I can't tell you all how much it meant to me to read all the supportive responses on my previous post. I feel like you are all standing behind me yelling, you go girl!
You know, I was thinking that being a mom of an addict, especially a single mom, is almost like being an abused wife. I feel shell shocked, not sure what I'll do without him, but at the same time there's a small part of me that is saying, "i'm free from his verbal atttacks. I'm free to leave my purse on the counter instead of under my pillow, i'm free to have peace in my house." Our scripture this a.m. in church was so much about peace, and I feel that is what god wants for me. I just hope my son can have peace sometime soon.
Tomorrow is court day so we will know more then. Hopefully I can sleep tonight.
krhea
You know, I was thinking that being a mom of an addict, especially a single mom, is almost like being an abused wife. I feel shell shocked, not sure what I'll do without him, but at the same time there's a small part of me that is saying, "i'm free from his verbal atttacks. I'm free to leave my purse on the counter instead of under my pillow, i'm free to have peace in my house." Our scripture this a.m. in church was so much about peace, and I feel that is what god wants for me. I just hope my son can have peace sometime soon.
Tomorrow is court day so we will know more then. Hopefully I can sleep tonight.
krhea
Sleep well. Your son is right where he supposed to be, and his HP is with him. I expect tomorrow will be a great day full of discovery and surprises. Remember that your son has some life lessons to learn and they might not be from you.
Mom to mom hugs
Cats
Mom to mom hugs
Cats
[QUOTE=You know, I was thinking that being a mom of an addict, especially a single mom, is almost like being an abused wife. I feel shell shocked, not sure what I'll do without him, QUOTE]
first let me say YOU GO GIRL!
lets face it, when our children are in full addiction they aren't really with us anyway so perhaps you'll now get your real son back
good luck
first let me say YOU GO GIRL!
lets face it, when our children are in full addiction they aren't really with us anyway so perhaps you'll now get your real son back
good luck
Like Cat said - Sleep well!! I remember how few and far between those good nights could be. Take advantage and stay in the moment (no future tripping!!).
You are a strong mom, doing the right thing. Please know you are in my prayers.
(((hugs)))
You are a strong mom, doing the right thing. Please know you are in my prayers.
(((hugs)))
My mom gave in twice when my sister begged to be bailed out... both times were the worst thing she could have done. I understand how hard it is though...
Just remember, they say that most addicts don't change until they hit rock bottom, and as long as he thinks you will rescue him, he has not realized his rock bottom.
I agree with Catspajamas. He is where he is supposed to be, and his HP will prevail.
*hugs and prayers for you and your son*
Just remember, they say that most addicts don't change until they hit rock bottom, and as long as he thinks you will rescue him, he has not realized his rock bottom.
I agree with Catspajamas. He is where he is supposed to be, and his HP will prevail.
*hugs and prayers for you and your son*
You totally are doing the right thing. It broke my heart when my AD went to jail. And although it was for a w/e, it wasn't long after that she started looking for recovery.
Stay strong my friend, you didn't put him there, his actions did.
Stay strong my friend, you didn't put him there, his actions did.
we are right beside you, not behind you saying "you go girl".. i know this is so hard on you but you know you have done the right things.my son respects me so much more since i have found recovery.he knows i am not going to put up with his bull,he knows i will hang up the phone in a heartbeat.i hope the judge will send your son to rehab when that time comes.do not bail him out.YOU GO GIRL. prayers for you both & big hugs for you.
Years ago my son also made promises of what he would do if I bailed him out. They lasted less than 2 hours after his release. I never bailed him out again.
If he wants to go to rehab, perhaps he can tell it to the judge and maybe the courts will mandate it. Whatever unfolds, your son is in God's hands, as are all our addicts.
Hugs and Prayers for both of you.
If he wants to go to rehab, perhaps he can tell it to the judge and maybe the courts will mandate it. Whatever unfolds, your son is in God's hands, as are all our addicts.
Hugs and Prayers for both of you.
Your son is right where his HP wants him today. I know it's hard to hear the begging and pleading, but you are doing the right thing. The light came on for me when I realized I HAD to let my AD suffer the consequences of her decisions. Otherwise, I would be cheating her of learning what she needed in order to become the person God wants her to be.
Prayers for you and your son, Krhea. This is just part of his journey, so muster up all the recovery you have, back off, and let him take it, along with his HP.
Big hugs,
Hangin' In
Prayers for you and your son, Krhea. This is just part of his journey, so muster up all the recovery you have, back off, and let him take it, along with his HP.
Big hugs,
Hangin' In
I agree with all above. Hang in there. I know it's hard and my heart breaks for you. Even though my as is a recovering addict as of now, I can't even imagine getting those begging phone calls from jail. You are a very strong person and I give you big hugs and prayers.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Texarkana, Texas
Posts: 585
Ditto for me too. You are doing the absolute right thing. One of the reasons he is begging to be put in rehab is that he is probably going through withdrawals and he knows they will give him something to ease the pain and discomfort. He will live though, and maybe his present discomfort will make a difference in the choices he makes in the future.
Last edited by tropikgal2; 07-09-2007 at 06:19 AM. Reason: typo
Mom hugs
It's very hard sometimes to do what has to be done. Hopefully it is his time and he will realize it.
As a single mom with a daughter in rehab, it's really not bad when they're not home, actually you sleep very soundly knowing they're safe.
It's very hard sometimes to do what has to be done. Hopefully it is his time and he will realize it.
As a single mom with a daughter in rehab, it's really not bad when they're not home, actually you sleep very soundly knowing they're safe.
Big, big hugs for you ~ & it's really a wake-up as to it being as tho you are living in an abusive realtionship; It is exactly the same walking-on-eggshells-lets-not-get-them-upset-because they will in some way hurt us: stealing, lying, disappearing, etc.
He is safe, and you have some much-needed peace. Throw the purse on the couch (livin' large, here!!) and take a bubble bath......~nitelite
He is safe, and you have some much-needed peace. Throw the purse on the couch (livin' large, here!!) and take a bubble bath......~nitelite
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: GO PENS
Posts: 1,151
You know Krhea, I was thinking about you last night. I have been following your posts about you son being a minor and having to kick him out. I met a girl last night who was telling me about her daughter who started using when she was 15yrs. old.
She said it got so bad and she couldn't wait until she was 18 so she could kick her out. Well, she didn't wait, it got the best of her. She kicked her out at 17, she didn't talk to her for 1 1/2 yrs. Today her daughter is 21 married to a nice guy and expecting her first child. She said she is clean and mature and has a good life now.
I hope this encourages you. I wanted you to hear this story of hope.
Hugs.........Lo
She said it got so bad and she couldn't wait until she was 18 so she could kick her out. Well, she didn't wait, it got the best of her. She kicked her out at 17, she didn't talk to her for 1 1/2 yrs. Today her daughter is 21 married to a nice guy and expecting her first child. She said she is clean and mature and has a good life now.
I hope this encourages you. I wanted you to hear this story of hope.
Hugs.........Lo
Thanks so much all of you, i feel such love from your posts. Today we go to court, and I called the state's attorney asking for a court-mandated rehab visit. We'll see what happens now. I do feel stronger today. You all are amazing.
krhea
krhea
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)