Living With An Addict
I'm no angel!
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Living With An Addict
by eHow Relationships & Family Editor
Introduction
Living with someone who abuses drugs is very difficult. People who are living with a drug addict have to learn to cope or get out of the relationship.
Instructions
Difficulty: Challenging
Steps
Step One
Ask yourself if you want to stay in this relationship. The facts are that for your partner, drugs will always come before your relationship until the addiction is removed. The only one that can help the drug addict is the drug addict himself, so any pleading you do will not have an effect. Ask yourself if you are willing to wait for him or her to seek treatment. If the answer is no, then end the relationship.
Step Two
Take care of yourself, and do the things that you want to do. If you have a hard time with this, there are support groups that are comprised of people in the same position as yourself. Consider joining one.
Step Three
Stand against addiction and do not enable the drug abuser's lifestyle. If the addict or abuser asks you to help him or her procure drugs or for money to get drugs, say no. Make it clear that you are no longer willing to be a part of his or her addiction.
Step Four
Keep your own checking and saving account, and secure any valuables. An addict is not himself and may even steal from those he loves to support his addiction.
Step Five
Stay clean and sober. If your partner sees you doing drugs, it will reinforce the idea that she can, too. Also ensure that children are not exposed to any drug use.
Step Six
Understand that the solution to many of your problems is working on yourself, not trying to change the habits of your partner. Most people who live with drug addicts have taken on some qualities of addiction themselves. Though solving this in yourself may not change your partner, it will improve your life.
Tips & Warnings
* Keep the focus on yourself, and don't expect the addict or abuser to change just because you are.
* If you join a support group, you will have a social network to call upon whenever you need help in coping, or if you just need to talk to someone who understands.
* You might lose the person you are living with because of the changes you have made. If so, than you will realize that the drug was more important to your partner than the relationship. It may not feel like it now, but that's a healthy step.
* Detach yourself from the addict's lifestyle so drugs do not become a focus of your life.
* Don't accept bad behavior. If the drug addict or abuser gets violent, get out of the house and call the police. Put yourself first
Copyright © 1999-2007 eHow, Inc.
Introduction
Living with someone who abuses drugs is very difficult. People who are living with a drug addict have to learn to cope or get out of the relationship.
Instructions
Difficulty: Challenging
Steps
Step One
Ask yourself if you want to stay in this relationship. The facts are that for your partner, drugs will always come before your relationship until the addiction is removed. The only one that can help the drug addict is the drug addict himself, so any pleading you do will not have an effect. Ask yourself if you are willing to wait for him or her to seek treatment. If the answer is no, then end the relationship.
Step Two
Take care of yourself, and do the things that you want to do. If you have a hard time with this, there are support groups that are comprised of people in the same position as yourself. Consider joining one.
Step Three
Stand against addiction and do not enable the drug abuser's lifestyle. If the addict or abuser asks you to help him or her procure drugs or for money to get drugs, say no. Make it clear that you are no longer willing to be a part of his or her addiction.
Step Four
Keep your own checking and saving account, and secure any valuables. An addict is not himself and may even steal from those he loves to support his addiction.
Step Five
Stay clean and sober. If your partner sees you doing drugs, it will reinforce the idea that she can, too. Also ensure that children are not exposed to any drug use.
Step Six
Understand that the solution to many of your problems is working on yourself, not trying to change the habits of your partner. Most people who live with drug addicts have taken on some qualities of addiction themselves. Though solving this in yourself may not change your partner, it will improve your life.
Tips & Warnings
* Keep the focus on yourself, and don't expect the addict or abuser to change just because you are.
* If you join a support group, you will have a social network to call upon whenever you need help in coping, or if you just need to talk to someone who understands.
* You might lose the person you are living with because of the changes you have made. If so, than you will realize that the drug was more important to your partner than the relationship. It may not feel like it now, but that's a healthy step.
* Detach yourself from the addict's lifestyle so drugs do not become a focus of your life.
* Don't accept bad behavior. If the drug addict or abuser gets violent, get out of the house and call the police. Put yourself first
Copyright © 1999-2007 eHow, Inc.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I wish I had this list and had been willing to accept the truth that is written here, years ago. It might have saved me a lot of grief, frustration and a trip or two into hell and back.
Thanks, Dolly, simple truths of how it is.
Hugs
Thanks, Dolly, simple truths of how it is.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 17
After I read this I started to think about the last 9 years of my life and how I managed to lose myself. At this point I am working on Step Six of this it has taken me years to get to this point and to be honest I have said that I wasted years of my life on addicts but what it really was that I had wasted years of my life on my addiction (co-dependancy).....when I took away the power that my disease had over me by accepting that it is my illness is what the real problem was not that ex-ah is an addict or that my father was an alcoholic but that I just as sick as them.
Living in the light
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Sweet Home Serenity
Posts: 706
Great post Dolly.
I'd like to add to consider how children are affected in the codie/addict merry go round. So much focus is on the addict and codie's misery, the children fall through the cracks. They need and deserve better. They are very aware of all that goes on
and need one parent to be there for them. So Moms/Dads, get into recovery and get out
of the never ending insanity/ psych ward that your children are exposed to. If you are not willing to leave the relationship for yourself then do it for your kids.
I'd like to add to consider how children are affected in the codie/addict merry go round. So much focus is on the addict and codie's misery, the children fall through the cracks. They need and deserve better. They are very aware of all that goes on
and need one parent to be there for them. So Moms/Dads, get into recovery and get out
of the never ending insanity/ psych ward that your children are exposed to. If you are not willing to leave the relationship for yourself then do it for your kids.
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