classysista

i love reading these post... this site has really helped me in so many ways..

and i know that i am a work in progress...
my bf. addicted to marijuana. alot of people say (its just weed) but its just weeed that makes him crazy non the less....

i would like to sit here and say I AM making progress but sumtimes i dont know...
being in this relationship with him as opend my eyes to the idea that i Am a codependent...
'ive started to go to al anon meetings.. last tue was suppose to be my first one but was cancelled because of the holiday, i still met two woman who have been in the group for along time and i went to have coffee with them and wow ..
doesnt it feel great when you sit down with sumone and realize your not alone
things you've done , try to to , did and swore you would never do again and did them still .. YOUR NOT alone. that was the most comforting feeling i felt in this whole thing

i am still with this guy and no one understands why .. how can i love him when he doesnt love him and he doesnt love me. what is it that makes me stay? i ask myself this daily. i worry about him daily i check his cell phone to see what he is doing daily.. i stay up all night long till five in the morning sumtimes just so i can be with him all night and kno what he is doing daily.. as if he was a child. and then at the same time i still try to manage my own life. go to work at 8 am and still keep him with me all night ...my own life, which right now i dont even know what it is

sometimes i sit back and ask myself WHEN? when did this all happen when did i lose myself in this addictive relationship.. so here i sit s till with him.. still smelling the weed in his kiss, still questioning him did you smoke? are you sure... just be honest with me!!!! STILL STILL STILL STILL here i am... when will it it.. when did i become not able to move..

for me i am always very bold, real, out going out spoking and idont put up with nothing from no one! yet here i am.. in a realtionshp with an addict and not wanting to let go but not seeing a future all the same. i am rambling here but sumtimes it feels good just to do that even if its just to get it out of me..

i told him i wont ever marry you if this exisit? do i mean that lol... anyway enough of that for now i feel alil better, for a lil while.

God bless you all...

BigSis

Hope you can get to a bunch of meetings - they really, really help.


Thanks for sharing this...

hope213

you will leave when u reach the point enough is enough,same as he will quit,when he reaches the point that enough is enough....hugs & prayers, hope

notsleepingwell

My daughter is my addict. But let me tell you. After the hell, I've been through with her...I would never allow another addict near me.

Please read this post

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...them-curb.html

patchoulli

I am single due to Keiths death. He was a recovering addict of 4 plus years when he relapsed and died. I cannot ever be involved with an addict or drinker again either. Between him and my daughter, I am on red alert for any signs of use. God forbid they talk with a boston accent, I think they're slurring....We have all loved addicts or we wouldn't be here, this isn't for casual acquaintances. Listen to your heart and take your time. The answer is inside of you, it will come....Marian

bookmiser

((((classysista))))

Just wanted to welcome you and say hi.
I'm glad your here, but sorry for the reason.
Keep you and your abf in my prayers.

guineapigjude

Hey Sista ~ Isn't it great when you realize you aren't alone/crazy? My exAH is an alcoholic and world class pot smoker, so I'm way too familiar with your situation. I was with him for almost 20 years, 17 of which were married. You'll do what you need to do when you need to do it.
Sending you lots of prayers and good thoughts!

notsleepingwell

OK...at the risk of being repetitive....another post

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ay-addict.html