Sailorswife

I haven't been on here in a long time. My brother, B, went into a program for over a year. He finished up this past April and came home to stay with a family member. We knew he had made the mistake of drinking atleast once. He did it while visiting our parents, they decided it would be a good idea to play drinking games with him. Shows you what kind of people they are, huh? But we got through that and thought everything was hunky-dory.

Anyway, long story short, the person he is living with is moving the beginning of August. He has asked my husband and I if he can some stay with us (this was just today). We said we'd need to talk about it and we would get back to him. We just have a lot on our plate right now with a possible long distance relocation so we don't even now how long we may or may not be in our house. So we left it at that...

While we're at a family party today it comes to our attention that he's been going around finding other ways to drink. He even went to my sister's house trying to get her to get him beer and when she wouldn't he convinced her husband to have a drink with him.

I feel like he's trying to manipulate me and I hate it. I am so mad that I've put so much effort into helping him get better and he just doesn't seem to care. Sometimes I feel like I put in more effort than he does.

But I also have this huge feeling of guilt. I feel awful that he's been put into certain situations throughout his life (as a child) that I was spared from. Logically, I know that I was a child myself and there is nothing I could have done. But I constantly wonder why him and not me?

So, here I am, wondering what I should do. Do we let him stay with us for a few weeks? Or am I just inviting termoil into my nice calm house? He's sneaking around everyone right now, who's to say he's not going to lie to our faces and try the same with us?

I would really appreciate any opinions or insight you may have.

TIA.

denny57

During that time your brother was in rehab, did you attend Al-Anon or any other support group for family? The tools I received in my own recovery have helped me work out what is best for me. It has been invaluable in learning to deal with guilt over another's addiction.

Mr. Christian

Sounds like you are inviting trouble.
He's a big boy , let him be on his own.

Your house and family that you have made come 1st!
Guilt? We make our own guilt and drama.

thinkmink

Sounds like t-r-o-u-b-l-e. I don't know why he wouldn't lie to you like he lies to everyone else. Himself included. He has somehow convinced himself it's ok to drink now. Just MHO.