bymyself

I am just going to lose it. I don't know where else to go or who to talk too. I've had 2 horrible episodes of drinking and passing out this week. I have an appointment to be evaluated for outpatient treatment. My husband is so disrespectful towards me when I have been drinking. Calling me, "you drunk", "your disgusting" and other remarks for years in front of my daughter. My daughter is now 16 years old and I called her on the cell phone the other night to pick her up and she said, in front of her friends, "Mom, your drunk again". Also saying, "just because you ruined your life, you don't need to ruin mine".

I am so distraught. I know I have a problem but do I deserve the disrespect from my family. Or do I deserve it? I can't take these problems anymore. I feel like I have now ruined my life and my daughter's.. What's the sense anymore. I'm going to be 40 years old this october and I'll just drink myself to where I won't see 41. I obviously have no other purpose in this life. Thank you for listening.

Theresa

Aysha

Well..get some help and do something about it.
No you dont deserve to be disrespected. But if you let it happen and keep disrespecting yourself..How can you expect anyone else to do the same.
Get some help.

GlassPrisoner

40 something, the magic age !!!! My sponsor says for some reason, the average age when getting to AA is 40 something.

Anyway, if I got what I deserve, I'd be dead or have 147 DUIs. You're family may be saying things that hurt and upset you. But they're human, and acting out the only way they know how. And, if you're an alcoholic, a lot of what they say is probably true.

I thought that too once. Until I realized that It wouldn't be overnight, and that I'd have to live that waliking death called life for another 10-15 years while drinking.

Get yourself to an AA meeting or 3. Get there early and stay late, talk to people. There is a solution, and they can help.

CarolD

Theresa....
Glad to see you are looking into
an outpatient program.

Are you using any recovery program?

That helps me immensely when I am
having difficulties.

Blessings to you and your family

Spiritual Seeker

Sounds like you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. Ask for help. See what rehab is covered by your insurance if you have it. It seems you have to start with self-respect 1st

lostmdboy

I tried to distroy my famally w/ alcohol. It was not till I got sober until I saw the entire picture, and how much damage I was doing. Please get some help. Get your famally back.

Anna

I'm sorry things are so hard right now.

It's frustrating for the families and frustrating for the addicts.

What are you doing to help yourself?

bymyself

Anna,

I have an appointment set up for an evaluation for outpatient treatment.

Theresa

Dee74

hey Theresa
sorry I didn't see this before. Yeah, 40 - be there myself in a couple weeks. sheesh.

I'm thinking of you - always read your posts, I hope you find your way cos you deserve it

D

Fluttering

Nothng changes if nothing changes...

i found when i began to change those around me changed...and the way i was treated changed....just a thought.

Sometimes it is very hard for those around us that do love us deeply to watch us abusde ourselves...they react with what appears to be anger and disrespect...but inside they are afraid and scared for you.

parentrecovers

maybe once you get into treatment, you can offer some counseling to your daughter and husband, if they are willing. alanon really helps my husband and i - we have been very affected by our daughter's addiction.

most of the time when i have done or said hateful things to her, it is my FEAR.

blessings, and i hope it can work out for all of you, k

WantsOut

I am the former wife of an alcoholic. You are correct, they don't have the right to talk to you that way. I'm sure you feel bad enough as it is and you don't need any help in that department.

Of course understand that watching a drunk is not a pretty thing. God knows what things they have witnessed ... things that are hard to live with. I used to stand there and watch my husband passed out on the couch, snoring and reeking of beer, and the contempt would just well up in my soul. I felt angry and helpless.

The only way to earn back their respect is to earn it by being sober.

bymyself

Thank you all for your support. I know that I need to get help and then in turn I'll respect myself. I just hope I didn't do permanent damage in how they see me.

GlassPrisoner, The quote you made in your post:
And, if you're an alcoholic, a lot of what they say is probably true.

I thought was kind of harsh. I'm looking for words of encouragement and support, not to be told that you agree that I'm nothing but a drunk and I'm disgusting. I know I have a problem. That's why I come here to get help from people who have been through what I'm going through, not for someone to agree with the hurtful, disrespectful comments made by my husband, along with him being abusive towards me, which is another story. I am an alcoholic and I think that's a great start for me.
But nobody deserves to be spoken to in that fashion, especially in front of my daughter. I am a Mother, Daughter, Wife, Sister and a good person with a DISEASE!

Theresa

Spiritual Seeker

Way to go by making that appt. Best wishes in your journey of recovery !!!!

GlassPrisoner

bymyslef, I didn't mean to sound harsh. I agree that "your disgusting" is out of line. But, people will say what people will say when they are hurt and/or threatened.

As far as being called a drunk. Well, I was called a drunk too. Because I was a drunk. I was also called a liar, selfish, and arrogant. And I was all of those things. That's the only point I was trying to make.

Astro

Well Theresa, this alcoholic in recovery believes that we're at the mercy of alcohol when we're active in our disease. No, I don't feel that you deserve the disrespect, but you obviously understand you have an issue with alcohol, so you're not in denial. So why aren't you exercising your power of choice and making a decision to seek help? There is a solution, recovery is free to anyone who desires it.

Ouch. I sobered up at 41. Depression and suicidal ideations are a big part of my story. My kids used to beg me not to drink. My son has had his nose broken three times during my episodes. He was 9 or younger at those times. My daughter fell off her changing table when she was a baby because I was too drunk to focus on changing her diapers. I thought I had ruined their lives, that those emotional wounds would never heal.

I'm a little over two years sober, and I definitely have a purpose in life. My children and I have an amazing relationship, my purpose is to stay sober and be the best father I can be. Every child deserves to have a parent like that. My purpose is also to help other alcoholics achieve sobriety, to be of service to AA.

What do I get in return? A life beyond my wildest dreams and imagination, more true friends than I ever thought I'd have, I could go on for days about the benefits. It's definitely worth it. I hope the outpatient treatment comes through for you.

JUST BE

I know the feeling. It hurts to know the truth. I have been sober for 5 days and my 13 year old son told me "thanks for not drinking". It will take some time for my family to trust me. If I do not stay sober my family will leave me.

Astro

Welcome JUST BE, glad to see someone new posting on SR.

Congratulations on your 5 days. Time and a solid program of recovery can go a long way in rebuilding trust.

Dee74

welcome Just Be. This is a good place to be.
D

gypsytears

Hi bymyself . Good for you for getting the op evaluation appointment. Get into treatment... you'll get some of your self respect back. You don't deserve to be disrespected and if it continues it's their problem, not yours. The only problem you have right now is to stop drinking and you can do that... I know you can.