Media and Messed Up Minds
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
Posts: 2,416
Media and Messed Up Minds
Hello gang.
This kind of vaguely has to do with codependency.. I think.
I just watched "The Little Mermaid". I like to have movies on while I'm working. It never occured to me before what a poor message this movie could send to a child. The heroine is disobedient, willfull, capricious and wreckless... and gets everything she ever wanted in the end. She does is all for loooooove. It's all pretty and romantic and has great music, but is really morally bereft. The original story had the mermaid being turned to seafoam after her misadventures. And she deserved it! Little brat.
I have thought before that a lot of us codependent types have received some poor programming from our culture and media. Love changes everything. A diamond is forever. Bake someone happy. I'm gonna think about this some more. I think we get a lot of our early training in "how to be a doormat" from popular culture.
Right now I have a short list of songs that mangle the mind... chime in if so inspired.
I Got You Babe
I'd Rather Be Blue Over You
All You Need is Love
Can't Help Lovin' that Man of Mine
Now THIS is a good song... my Mom used to sing it a lot. Usually I'd go look up the composers but right now I'm fussed.
Blues in the Night
My mama done told me
When I was in pigtails
My mama done told me.... Hon....
A man's gonna sweet talk
and give you the big eye
But when the sweet talkin's done...
a man is a two face.
A worrysome thing
who'll leave you to sing
the bluuuuuuuues in the night.
No... I'm not mad at Dino. He's just swell. But I'm mad at being set up by romantic bushwa and this movie just ticked me off. Who'd think we'd need Disney Police?
Anybody? Songs? Movies? Slogans? Books? Let's play Cultural Warp Factor!
This kind of vaguely has to do with codependency.. I think.
I just watched "The Little Mermaid". I like to have movies on while I'm working. It never occured to me before what a poor message this movie could send to a child. The heroine is disobedient, willfull, capricious and wreckless... and gets everything she ever wanted in the end. She does is all for loooooove. It's all pretty and romantic and has great music, but is really morally bereft. The original story had the mermaid being turned to seafoam after her misadventures. And she deserved it! Little brat.
I have thought before that a lot of us codependent types have received some poor programming from our culture and media. Love changes everything. A diamond is forever. Bake someone happy. I'm gonna think about this some more. I think we get a lot of our early training in "how to be a doormat" from popular culture.
Right now I have a short list of songs that mangle the mind... chime in if so inspired.
I Got You Babe
I'd Rather Be Blue Over You
All You Need is Love
Can't Help Lovin' that Man of Mine
Now THIS is a good song... my Mom used to sing it a lot. Usually I'd go look up the composers but right now I'm fussed.
Blues in the Night
My mama done told me
When I was in pigtails
My mama done told me.... Hon....
A man's gonna sweet talk
and give you the big eye
But when the sweet talkin's done...
a man is a two face.
A worrysome thing
who'll leave you to sing
the bluuuuuuuues in the night.
No... I'm not mad at Dino. He's just swell. But I'm mad at being set up by romantic bushwa and this movie just ticked me off. Who'd think we'd need Disney Police?
Anybody? Songs? Movies? Slogans? Books? Let's play Cultural Warp Factor!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Ohio
Posts: 444
Oh, boy! You're gonna get me on my soapbox now-- movies have really been getting to me lately. I know everyone loves John Wayne, and my husband insisted that anything with him in it was great, and the old style of movies, and wouldn't warp anyone's mind, etc. and so we rented a few, and all they do is portray drunks as heroes! Makes me mad.
Anyways, there's All in the Family, that was during my era. I feel like Edith Bunker all the time!
I always liked the Carpenters, because, though they had a lot of love songs, they also had a lot of love don't always work songs. Kept things in proper perspective, I think.
2 movies I like that shows how "true love" ought to be (doesn't always work this way, but it ought to) are "A Walk to Remember" and "The Mirror has 2 Faces". In A Walk to Remember, the guy has to work hard to win the girl, but he really means it. He really tries to make all her dreams come true--a knight in shining armor. In The Mirror Has 2 Faces, they become good friends, sharing intellectual ideas, he cares so much that he knows EXACTLY how she likes to eat her food, and even orders extra dressing on the side for her, etc. Geesh, I was married 20 years before Squinty realized I don't like pepper on anything. 20 YEARS! of "Please pass the salt". He passes the salt AND pepper. I say, "I don't like pepper, just the salt, please". He says "You don't like pepper?"! And that was before he lost half of his brain cells to alcohol!
I'm sure I'll think of more later!
Lyn
Anyways, there's All in the Family, that was during my era. I feel like Edith Bunker all the time!
I always liked the Carpenters, because, though they had a lot of love songs, they also had a lot of love don't always work songs. Kept things in proper perspective, I think.
2 movies I like that shows how "true love" ought to be (doesn't always work this way, but it ought to) are "A Walk to Remember" and "The Mirror has 2 Faces". In A Walk to Remember, the guy has to work hard to win the girl, but he really means it. He really tries to make all her dreams come true--a knight in shining armor. In The Mirror Has 2 Faces, they become good friends, sharing intellectual ideas, he cares so much that he knows EXACTLY how she likes to eat her food, and even orders extra dressing on the side for her, etc. Geesh, I was married 20 years before Squinty realized I don't like pepper on anything. 20 YEARS! of "Please pass the salt". He passes the salt AND pepper. I say, "I don't like pepper, just the salt, please". He says "You don't like pepper?"! And that was before he lost half of his brain cells to alcohol!
I'm sure I'll think of more later!
Lyn
I used to work here ;)
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: I live in Trevose, PA & collect Barbies :)
Posts: 2,024
Interesting.....
Think about it when people get married in the traditional sense of the wedding they pick a song to dance to. Its usually mushy and loving with the white picket fence and the happily forever afters. I guess we all have pretty much learned that isn't always the case.
Nothing is really coming to mind at the moment. I will need to ponder this over.
Something that first came to mind though was "Crazy" by Patsy Cline
Crazy, I'm crazy for feelin' so lonely,
I'm crazy, crazy for feelin' so blue......
I knew, you'd love me as long as you wanted,
And then someday, you'd leave me for somebody new.
Worry, why do I let myself worry?
Wonderin', what in the world did I do?
Oh, crazy, for thinkin' that my love could hold you.....
I'm crazy for tryin' and crazy for cryin
And I'm crazy for lovin' you.
Crazy, for thinkin' that my love could hold you,
I'm crazy for tryin, and crazy for cryin
And I'm crazy for lovin' you.....
When I look at those lyrics.....geez.....what a weinie.......let it go girl!! Go find someone new yourself.......geez
Again, I will ponder. Thanks in advance for making my brain hurt Smokie.....lol
Many hugs,
Debbie
Think about it when people get married in the traditional sense of the wedding they pick a song to dance to. Its usually mushy and loving with the white picket fence and the happily forever afters. I guess we all have pretty much learned that isn't always the case.
Nothing is really coming to mind at the moment. I will need to ponder this over.
Something that first came to mind though was "Crazy" by Patsy Cline
Crazy, I'm crazy for feelin' so lonely,
I'm crazy, crazy for feelin' so blue......
I knew, you'd love me as long as you wanted,
And then someday, you'd leave me for somebody new.
Worry, why do I let myself worry?
Wonderin', what in the world did I do?
Oh, crazy, for thinkin' that my love could hold you.....
I'm crazy for tryin' and crazy for cryin
And I'm crazy for lovin' you.
Crazy, for thinkin' that my love could hold you,
I'm crazy for tryin, and crazy for cryin
And I'm crazy for lovin' you.....
When I look at those lyrics.....geez.....what a weinie.......let it go girl!! Go find someone new yourself.......geez
Again, I will ponder. Thanks in advance for making my brain hurt Smokie.....lol
Many hugs,
Debbie
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: georgia
Posts: 531
OK here's one
Stand By Your Man
Remember in the movie Coal Miners Daughter why she wrote this song!! He was unfaithful while intoxicated, so she writes a song on how to stand by your man!!!!
I am sure I could think of more, but I am off to Jury Duty....please pray that I don't get selected!!!! Today was my 1st day out of work for the summer and I have to do this!!
Constant
Stand By Your Man
Remember in the movie Coal Miners Daughter why she wrote this song!! He was unfaithful while intoxicated, so she writes a song on how to stand by your man!!!!
I am sure I could think of more, but I am off to Jury Duty....please pray that I don't get selected!!!! Today was my 1st day out of work for the summer and I have to do this!!
Constant
I used to work here ;)
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: I live in Trevose, PA & collect Barbies :)
Posts: 2,024
Good one Constant!! And good luck at jury duty.....keeping fingers crossed you don't get picked 
I was pondering more than I thought I suppose......take a look at this song......this can apply to men also I would believe.
"When a Man Loves a Woman" the movie was great! But take a look at the song lyrics.
When a man loves a woman
Can't keep his mind on nothin' else
He'd trade the world
For a good thing he's found
If she is bad, he can't see it
She can do no wrong
Turn his back on his best friend
If he puts her down
When a man loves a woman
Spend his very last dime
Trying to hold on to what he needs
He'd give up all his comforts
And sleep out in the rain
If she said that's the way
It ought to be
When a man loves a woman
I give you everything I've got (yeah)
Trying to hold on
To your precious love
Baby please don't treat me bad
When a man loves a woman
Deep down in his soul
She can bring him such misery
If she is playing him for a fool
He's the last one to know
Loving eyes can never see
Yes when a man loves a woman
I now exactly how he feels
'Cause baby, baby, baby
I am a man
When a man loves a woman
Another weinie.....lol Okay, enough for now.....anyone else have thoughts. And this just popped into my head, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach", is that such a saying or did I just make that up???
Many hugs,
Debbie
PS And lyn, thought I posted this but my head must be thinking it and not typing it. Isn't it funny how long you can live with a person and they just don't know you. The pepper thing.....reminds me of my aversion to certain seafood but no matter how many times I say no, he keeps on saying try it.....no and that is final!! Yikes!!
I was pondering more than I thought I suppose......take a look at this song......this can apply to men also I would believe.
"When a Man Loves a Woman" the movie was great! But take a look at the song lyrics.
When a man loves a woman
Can't keep his mind on nothin' else
He'd trade the world
For a good thing he's found
If she is bad, he can't see it
She can do no wrong
Turn his back on his best friend
If he puts her down
When a man loves a woman
Spend his very last dime
Trying to hold on to what he needs
He'd give up all his comforts
And sleep out in the rain
If she said that's the way
It ought to be
When a man loves a woman
I give you everything I've got (yeah)
Trying to hold on
To your precious love
Baby please don't treat me bad
When a man loves a woman
Deep down in his soul
She can bring him such misery
If she is playing him for a fool
He's the last one to know
Loving eyes can never see
Yes when a man loves a woman
I now exactly how he feels
'Cause baby, baby, baby
I am a man
When a man loves a woman
Another weinie.....lol Okay, enough for now.....anyone else have thoughts. And this just popped into my head, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach", is that such a saying or did I just make that up???
Many hugs,
Debbie
PS And lyn, thought I posted this but my head must be thinking it and not typing it. Isn't it funny how long you can live with a person and they just don't know you. The pepper thing.....reminds me of my aversion to certain seafood but no matter how many times I say no, he keeps on saying try it.....no and that is final!! Yikes!!
Last edited by Debbie; 05-19-2003 at 04:42 AM.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
After I was divorced, my mom said to me wistfully, "Maybe if you had just baked him bread"
I guess 10 years of meat, potatoes, vegetable and desert wasn't enough????
These days, if a he wants to have dinner with me, he can take me out or cook!!!
For me, it's easier for me to take me out. A good book is good company.
:p
live
I guess 10 years of meat, potatoes, vegetable and desert wasn't enough????
These days, if a he wants to have dinner with me, he can take me out or cook!!!
For me, it's easier for me to take me out. A good book is good company.
:p live
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: AZ
Posts: 57
Lyn,
Speaking of the Carpenters I love Close to you.
On the day that you were born
the angels got together
and decided to create a dream come true
so they sprinked moon dust in your hair
and golden starlight in your eyes of blue
That is why all the girls in town
follow you all around
just like me they long to be
close to you
I always sang that sonf to my son as I rocked him in the rocking chair. Now every year on his birthday I sing him that song. Ok there have been times that he didn't want me to sing but as he gets older (22) I think he looks forward to it.
I know it's not really the topic but it brought a smile to my face.
DMOM
Speaking of the Carpenters I love Close to you.
On the day that you were born
the angels got together
and decided to create a dream come true
so they sprinked moon dust in your hair
and golden starlight in your eyes of blue
That is why all the girls in town
follow you all around
just like me they long to be
close to you
I always sang that sonf to my son as I rocked him in the rocking chair. Now every year on his birthday I sing him that song. Ok there have been times that he didn't want me to sing but as he gets older (22) I think he looks forward to it.
I know it's not really the topic but it brought a smile to my face.
DMOM
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Your are my sunshine,
my only sunshine
you make me happy
when skies are gray
you'll never know, dear
how much I love you
so please don't take my sunshine away
...
then there is the verse that says if you go and love another, come back and I'll take all the blame
my only sunshine
you make me happy
when skies are gray
you'll never know, dear
how much I love you
so please don't take my sunshine away
...
then there is the verse that says if you go and love another, come back and I'll take all the blame
Queen of one liners
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: walking beside you! Not in front of you.
Posts: 658
Sorry gang but you asked for it;
My favorite today is; DON'T COME HOME ADRINKIN WITH LOVIN ON YOUR MIND......by Loretta Lynnn.
As I posted on another thread I'd like to have billboards in every town that asks
How much of me to I have to give up to be loved by you...
Today if I have someone in my life, I want it to be because I want them to be there and they want to be there NOT because they or I NEED it to happen to be HAPPY, JOYUOUS, AND FREE.....
The media is the reason I gave up TV, and as for good books to read I hardly ever do novels anymore either....I'll take a Louis LaMore book anyday before I'll read 99% of the stuff out there....
YOU ALL HAVE A SUNSHINELY DAY....
My favorite today is; DON'T COME HOME ADRINKIN WITH LOVIN ON YOUR MIND......by Loretta Lynnn.
As I posted on another thread I'd like to have billboards in every town that asks
How much of me to I have to give up to be loved by you...
Today if I have someone in my life, I want it to be because I want them to be there and they want to be there NOT because they or I NEED it to happen to be HAPPY, JOYUOUS, AND FREE.....
The media is the reason I gave up TV, and as for good books to read I hardly ever do novels anymore either....I'll take a Louis LaMore book anyday before I'll read 99% of the stuff out there....
YOU ALL HAVE A SUNSHINELY DAY....
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
(Gabe is at the Karaoke mike again)
Oh-oh-oh, I'm gonna spread the news
That if it feels this good gettin' used
You just keep on usin' me
Until you use me up.
As far as movies go, I was a total victim of "The Cinderella Complex". (I actually own the 1960's version of Oscar and Hammerstien's "Cinderella"). I totally believed that life was all about some handsome man sweeping me off my feet and onto his white steed. Then off into the sunset we would ride and I would always have someone to take care of me. I amended that in my teenage years and was sure that some good lookin' biker would sweep me off my feet and take me away on his Harley.
Now, I know that I can take care of myself just fine.
Peace,
Gabe
That if it feels this good gettin' used
You just keep on usin' me
Until you use me up.
As far as movies go, I was a total victim of "The Cinderella Complex". (I actually own the 1960's version of Oscar and Hammerstien's "Cinderella"). I totally believed that life was all about some handsome man sweeping me off my feet and onto his white steed. Then off into the sunset we would ride and I would always have someone to take care of me. I amended that in my teenage years and was sure that some good lookin' biker would sweep me off my feet and take me away on his Harley.
Now, I know that I can take care of myself just fine.
Peace,
Gabe
I used to work here ;)
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: I live in Trevose, PA & collect Barbies :)
Posts: 2,024
You had to go an mention Karaoke.......one of my favorite, silly things to do at those private karaoke parties (I just noticed on my dvd player you can do karaoke, maybe I should practice).
The brain still isn't working very well but I heard this song today.......maybe it was just in my head.....not sure.....lol
At This Moment - Billy Vera & the Beaters
What did you think I would do at this moment
When you're standing before me
With tears in your eyes
Trying to tell me that you have found you another
and you just don't love me no more
What did you think I would say at this moment
When I'm faced with the knowledge
That you just don't love me
Did you think I would curse you
Or say things to hurt you
'cause you just don't love me no more
Did you think I could hate you
Or raise my hands to you
Now come on you know me too well
How could I hurt you when darling I love you
and you know I'd never hurt you-oo-wo-oo-o-o-o...
What do you think I would give at this moment
If you'd stay I'd subtract twenty years from my life
I'd fall down on my knees
and kiss the ground that you walk on
If I could just hold you again
I'd fall down on my knees
and kiss the ground that you walk on baby
If I could just hold you
If I, could just hold you
If I.........
If I could just hold you
Again
I will not be kissing the ground.....no way, no how
Many hugs,
Debbie
The brain still isn't working very well but I heard this song today.......maybe it was just in my head.....not sure.....lol
At This Moment - Billy Vera & the Beaters
What did you think I would do at this moment
When you're standing before me
With tears in your eyes
Trying to tell me that you have found you another
and you just don't love me no more
What did you think I would say at this moment
When I'm faced with the knowledge
That you just don't love me
Did you think I would curse you
Or say things to hurt you
'cause you just don't love me no more
Did you think I could hate you
Or raise my hands to you
Now come on you know me too well
How could I hurt you when darling I love you
and you know I'd never hurt you-oo-wo-oo-o-o-o...
What do you think I would give at this moment
If you'd stay I'd subtract twenty years from my life
I'd fall down on my knees
and kiss the ground that you walk on
If I could just hold you again
I'd fall down on my knees
and kiss the ground that you walk on baby
If I could just hold you
If I, could just hold you
If I.........
If I could just hold you
Again
I will not be kissing the ground.....no way, no how
Many hugs,
Debbie
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I never did like that old sing-a-long tune...Won't You Come Home Bill Bailey....I've added a few lyrics of my own
Won't you come home Bill Bailey,
Won't you come home,
I mourn the whole day long....
I'll do the cooking honey (not likely!!!!)
I'll pay the rent (when pigs fly!!!)
I know I done you wrong(yah right, I done YOU wrong )
'Member that rainy evening
I turned you out
With nothing but a fine tooth comb?
Well, I know I'm to blame (ha ha ha ha ha - how's that??"
and ain't it a shame
Bill Bailey won't you please.......take your sorry butt somewhere else. :redfinger
Won't you come home Bill Bailey,
Won't you come home,
I mourn the whole day long....
I'll do the cooking honey (not likely!!!!)
I'll pay the rent (when pigs fly!!!)
I know I done you wrong(yah right, I done YOU wrong
)'Member that rainy evening
I turned you out
With nothing but a fine tooth comb?
Well, I know I'm to blame (ha ha ha ha ha - how's that??"
and ain't it a shame
Bill Bailey won't you please.......take your sorry butt somewhere else. :redfinger
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
Ya'll are amazing
Good glory, gals, ya'll amaze me! I can't believe ya'll can remember all the lyrics to all these songs. Or, fess up. Did you go look them up on the net?... Heck, I have trouble remembering all the words to "Happy Birthday" (and let me remind you I am not and never have been a drinker, so my brain cells have NOT been lost due to alcohol use. I attribute everything that is wrong with me to 'dingbat attacks!'....)
I'm thinking we should start an Al Anon version of the old tv show "Name That Tune", making up our own lyrics as Ann did. We wouldn't have time to worry about our A's for laughing at the lyrics we would come up with.
"Take your sorry butt somewhere else?" Oh, that has always been one of my favorite songs. Uh, who sang that? Mary Poppins?....lol
Heck, I have trouble remembering all the words to "Happy Birthday" (and let me remind you I am not and never have been a drinker, so my brain cells have NOT been lost due to alcohol use. I attribute everything that is wrong with me to 'dingbat attacks!'....) I'm thinking we should start an Al Anon version of the old tv show "Name That Tune", making up our own lyrics as Ann did. We wouldn't have time to worry about our A's for laughing at the lyrics we would come up with.
"Take your sorry butt somewhere else?" Oh, that has always been one of my favorite songs. Uh, who sang that? Mary Poppins?....lol
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