hbb

Hi it's hbb here, and i just wanted to let you guys know, i don't have to wonder anymore about my Xabf.......he's up in NH right now with his ex girlfriend. I heard it through the grapevine and don't have to wonder anymore about this loser. I called him immediately and he text me he'd call me Monday so he obviously knows i know something. I debated about going camping....but why? WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND....just when i thought he was possibly doing the "correct" recovery, what he was doing was cheating......Thanks for all your support, lets now hope he defaults on the loan because i just read the note and i can go after him IN FULL PAYMENT. Thanks again all!

hbb

aztchr

I hope you still go camping and enjoy the time for you!!
I'm sorry to hear your update, but hope it's a sign you needed for your own recovery.

hbb

Thanks i am going, screw him, how could someone do that to someone. It's one thing to break up and then down the road date your ex. We were not even broken up, he wanted to "clear" his head, guess she's helping right? So the past three weeks of me backing off for his recovery was opening that door to cheat......great!

aztchr

You didn't cause it, can't control it, and can't cure it!!
He chose his actions. I know it's hard not to blame yourself, but remember those C's!!

The past few weeks have also been for you to get a fresh start for yourself!
Have a safe trip!

Live

Can we tie him to a tree, cover him with honey and turn those biting ants lose on him?
Let him have his campout

And you have yours.

Well, he faked alot of people out didn't he. A's are very, very good at that.

I know this hurts...but something similar happened in my life...and actually that knowing helped me move on. It wasn't easy.

MsGolightly

also been in a very similar situation, hbb, one that still hurts me and that i encounter every day. the pain sucks (a huge understatement)... it was the cheating that hurt me more than the drinking. i continued to fight like an idiot for a long time, and one day i just decided i don't want people like that in my life anymore... and i definitely wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life with someone who thinks it's okay to lie and cheat.

(((hbb)))

dollydo

Enjoy your camping trip.

There is always more to the story, now you know about as much as you need to know.

Time to let go, no contact is step one.

He has moved on, accept the reality and let him go.

hbb

Just knowing in my heart that he could do this and do it again and again and again is enough for me, he'll get his one day and like i said earlier, i didn't have to do a single thing for the truth to come out......those two losers are headed for a downward spiral....HAVE A NICE LIFE.

dollydo

Amen.

Live

Good for you!!!!

Just give me a minute's thought when you are tubing okay? All right, a second or two?
LOL

Hey, this is funny....my horoscope today gave ME a double dog dare. Or said that is the way that I would take my challenges today. Something like that. LOL

You have a great attitude about the recent revelations....really shows what a strong and level-headed character you do have!

embraced2000

sorry hbb, for the painful new knowledge....i know it hurts.

there is always more and more revealed as i continue on my path, and i'm sure you will experience the same. it's my job to push through it like a labor contraction and come out the other side a better person for the pain.

have fun camping......even the heaviest of hearts can't stay heavy for very long...they lighten up just when we need to feel the weight lift.

hbb

Live, i've come to the fact that i have no more tears, i have not an ounce o strength left for him, i know he will definately start drinking again...NOT MY PROBLEM. And as for her, like i've said, it didn't work for 8 years and probably won't work the next 8 months, and then i'll get the last laugh when he realizes he screwed up BIGTIME.......sorry to vent, just can't even believe all this WHEN DOES KARMA SET IN??!!!!

dobiediva

((((((((((((((hbb)))))))))))) My ex did the same thing. We had been broken up and he immediately moved on with someone new within 3 days (that's what they do!) Well I took him back after about a month (he claimed he was sober! HA!) and he didn't even tell the "new girl" that we were back together. He strung her along for 3 days telling her he "needed to clear his head and work some stuff out". Well when I found out about it I emailed her and let her know he was lying to her. We had a nice conversation and she moved on (Wish I would've!) I found out a year later that he had cheated on me as well--several times. They always seem to need to string one along while testing the waters with another. I guess the more enablers they have the better! He's also pulled the "begging his ex wife back" thing while with me. (She just recently told me this) They are snakes!

You are MUCH better off with out him. Be prepared for the anger to go away and the sadness to sink in. It will be yet another of those vicious cycles we go through in a relationship with an A. I often wonder how I could still love that man after all the pain and BS he has put me through. but it takes time to heal, even after a blow like this one. Its hard to shut off your heart. Use the anger. Its the only thing that has gotten me through some days. Enjoy your camping trip. Wish I was going too!

fluffyflea

Sorry Hbb about your news. But at least now you have closure about it. You can move on.

Earthworm

gns

Dear HBB,

I am feeling exactly like you are, so I completely understand.

I have to say as much as it hurts, there is some relief too. My self-esteem is not going to be based on what he is doing anymore. Good luck to whoever gets that "prize"!

I am waiting for karma to kick in too.
It is confusing processing these feelings (at least for me).

splendra

(((((hbb)))))

I am so glad that you have not been living in this with him for years. I know you hurt time will ease it. Take good care of yourself. I hope you have big fun on your camping trip!! Let us know how the trip went ok...

parentrecovers

did you make your counseling appt?

his ex is in for it now, i hope she has enough sense to bail out soon..

blessings, k

hbb

Hi, had fun camping, we went tubing 2 hours down the river...wish i was in better spirits. Had it out with him for 1 1/2 hours on monday in the camper! He just left here today after coming over and we screamed for about 1/2 hour. He of course appologized, yada yada yada and wants to possibly see what we can work out...OF COURSE, was just waiting for that. I didn't even respond other than he can drop off my stuff tomorrow while i'm at work. Do i really mean it, NO but what the hell, he's not going off with the ex friends or not....TOO BAD. Anyways, thanks for your support on here, it was very helpful...heather

minnie

I don't quite understand your last post.

Do you want him to break up with him or not? I thought you did from your post the other day.....

Glad you had a good time tubing.

hbb

We were on the phone when we talked monday, i wasn't physically with him at the time. When we talked (screamed) we came to the conclusion we would break up instead of continue on a break. So i was suppose to get my stuff (keys) and meet up at his house but low and behold more family drama, so he came here, we hashed it out face to face and he took his stuff. So he's dropping mine by tomorrow. I needed for him to not run and hide and see his face talking to me. So it is what it is and although i'm really sad/angry/confused and everything else, i know deep down it's the right thing, he doesn't want to change and i do and have goals and wants.