classysista

ok! i think i have compeltely lost my mind....


after a million times im HERE AGAIN i have gotten BACK together with my ex who is a weed addict. i called him yesterday and asked him if he had stayed sober over the last four days that we were not in contact, because prior to that he was sober for two days.

of course he said yeah... and i sorrda beliveed him but really didnt. we got back together i let him come over and i kissed him and there it was.. THAT WEED smell that doenst easily go away especially when in close contact with them.. so at frist i tried to ignore it.

but i knew i wasbeing played so i asked him again.. Did you smoke, are you sure you have been clean for four days. after like three or four times he finally stopped lying to me and fessed up. so i said , i understand you struggle with this but how can we work if your not honest with me..e

so then he says i know your right i will start fresh tomoorrow after i go home and smoke the stuff i have left. WHAT. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i go on to tell him i cant live my life through you are allow your choices to steal my joy if you smoke that weed instead of flushing it does expect to see me tomorrow im not sayin im breaking up with you but i will need to take time for me.

so he says ok i will flush it and i know i cant trust or elive him anymore. and i am having a very hard time letting go.... i will for awhile then i keep taking him back and tryin new creative ways to make things work.


WHAT CAN IDO HERE IM LOSSING SLEEP and lossing if not lost my mind.

marle

He is just doing what every good addict does-lie. And you are doing what every good codie does-want to believe him. When you ask him if he has been smoking when you can smell it on him, he is going to lie. That is the nature of addiction. Take the focus off him and put it back on you. What do you want out of life. He may or may not ever stop smoking pot. Can you live with that. Only you can decide. Hugs, Marle

notsleepingwell

Am copying and pasting this sticky which is on the top of the forums

What Addicts Do

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This post has been reposted so many times that I thought I would sticky it here at the top. Jon posted this some time ago, in response to the many questions of "why" that were asked by those who love an addict. I thank Jon for sharing this so honestly and hope it will help others understand what addicts do.

What Addicts Do

My name's Jon. I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do. You cannot nor will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat you better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I think about, is my needs and how to go about fufilling them. You are a tool to me, something to use. When I say I love you I am lying through my teeth, because love is impossible for someone in active addiction. I wouldn't be using if I loved myself, and since I don't, I cannot love you.

My feelings are so pushed down and numbed by my drugs that I could be considered sociopathic. I have no empathy for you or anyone else. It doesn't faze me that I hurt you, leave you hungry, lie to you, cheat on you and steal from you.

My behavior cannot and will not change until i make a decison to stop using/drinking and then follow it up with a plan of action.

And until I make that decsion, I will hurt you again and again and again.

Stop being surprised.

I am an addict. And that's what addicts do.
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