Dry Drunk
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 12
Dry Drunk
I would be grateful for some comments and experiences on a situation I have observed.
I have a friend who is an A. He has been trying to quit for over a year and managed 3 months last autumn. He has now done about 2 months. I distanced myself from this friend because he was an excellent liar while he was drinking. I just felt I couldn't take much more and haven't been in contact much since. He is friendly enough and never without friends. However even as a sober A I find I still him difficult to believe. I think he believes himself what he says but even if it's not true.
I like him alot but don't like the not knowing what is true and what isn't even when sober
He has stopped drinking but still seems to be lying. Why? About small things like where he is, who he is with. Stuff that wouldn't matter.
I want my friend back but I just can't trust him...still. Perhaps lying is so normal to him he doesn't realise when he is doing it?
Would love any thoughts on the matter.
The drinking stopped but the behaviour is the same??? Confused.
I have a friend who is an A. He has been trying to quit for over a year and managed 3 months last autumn. He has now done about 2 months. I distanced myself from this friend because he was an excellent liar while he was drinking. I just felt I couldn't take much more and haven't been in contact much since. He is friendly enough and never without friends. However even as a sober A I find I still him difficult to believe. I think he believes himself what he says but even if it's not true.
I like him alot but don't like the not knowing what is true and what isn't even when sober
He has stopped drinking but still seems to be lying. Why? About small things like where he is, who he is with. Stuff that wouldn't matter.
I want my friend back but I just can't trust him...still. Perhaps lying is so normal to him he doesn't realise when he is doing it?
Would love any thoughts on the matter.
The drinking stopped but the behaviour is the same??? Confused.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Some people are pathological liars. Alcohol isn't always the reason for the way people behave. If not being alcoholic was the answer to everything, I'd be perfect - which I'm definitely not.
My two cents.
My two cents.
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Exactly Glass!
Some are just pathological liars as Denny said! I gave mine up-it was too much on my brain to try and figure out the chaos in his head! I had and have enough of my own things to do to live my life-Happy
Lying keeps them stuck-I'm moving on
Bubble (((Hugs))) even when they are sober it does not always mean they are going to be a different person without faults. We all have them some are just worse than others and not tolerable in life. Do what you need for yourself! Trying to fit pieces to a puzzle that do not fit is not worth the extra energy!
Some are just pathological liars as Denny said! I gave mine up-it was too much on my brain to try and figure out the chaos in his head! I had and have enough of my own things to do to live my life-Happy
Lying keeps them stuck-I'm moving on
Bubble (((Hugs))) even when they are sober it does not always mean they are going to be a different person without faults. We all have them some are just worse than others and not tolerable in life. Do what you need for yourself! Trying to fit pieces to a puzzle that do not fit is not worth the extra energy!
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,035
Originally Posted by GlassPrisoner 
Take away the booze from a drunken horsethief and you still have a horsethief.
Without some sort of program (like AA) that addresses his personality defects, he's most likely to drink again.
Without some sort of program (like AA) that addresses his personality defects, he's most likely to drink again.
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
How do you know an addict telling a lie? His mouth is moving. That's an old but true cliche. My addict son says that he is so use to telling lies now, that he lies about everything even the most insignificant that makes no difference. He sees it, but is not changing it. Until he gets into treatment and works on the character defect (one of many) he is a man who can't be trusted. My own son, can't be trusted. He may mean it when he says something....but don't count on any follow through. When we know this about someone all we can do is protect ourselves and not count on them or have any expectations. It is what it is.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Well...
My first spanking at age 4 was for lying.
I loved lying...it made my life more iteresting
to pretend.
Once I became an adult I quit lying.
Drinking had nothing to do with it.
I choose trustworthy friends.
Hope you will too.
My first spanking at age 4 was for lying.
I loved lying...it made my life more iteresting
to pretend.
Once I became an adult I quit lying.
Drinking had nothing to do with it.
I choose trustworthy friends.Hope you will too.
A work in progress....
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: FREE!!!! Somewhere in the Tennessee Mountains
Posts: 1,018
Originally Posted by Spritual Seeker
....... he lies about everything even the most insignificant that makes no difference.....
....When we know this about someone all we can do is protect ourselves and not count on them or have any expectations. It is what it is.
....When we know this about someone all we can do is protect ourselves and not count on them or have any expectations. It is what it is.
It was the lying that really drove me to divorce him; the lying was always there even when he was clean for awhile. I just couldn't live with someone who would lie like that any longer...
I Finally Love My Life!!!
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New England
Posts: 648
1. You can't change what you don't acknowledge
2. You have to want to change yourself enough to look for it
3. You have to practice and practice to change old patterns
Most of us do this naturally through growing up - like Carol said it.
I kicked my XABF out when I found out he was drinking and lying about it. His last words to me before I quit speaking to him were lies. This was after he had completed 90 in 90.
Like Glass and others have stated, removing the alcohol doesn't necessarily mean the behaviours will stop. A liar can quit lying, but they have to want to, they have to do the work to change and acknowledge they are lying and put those changes into practice. Simply removing the alcohol does none of that.
2. You have to want to change yourself enough to look for it
3. You have to practice and practice to change old patterns
Most of us do this naturally through growing up - like Carol said it.
I kicked my XABF out when I found out he was drinking and lying about it. His last words to me before I quit speaking to him were lies. This was after he had completed 90 in 90.
Like Glass and others have stated, removing the alcohol doesn't necessarily mean the behaviours will stop. A liar can quit lying, but they have to want to, they have to do the work to change and acknowledge they are lying and put those changes into practice. Simply removing the alcohol does none of that.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 62
Dry Drunk
I am new but have been reading. Thank God for this site. It is where I head when I am losing my sanity with ABF.
I am dealing with this now. He has been "dry" for almost a year but the lying!!!!!!
I found this article on Dry Drunk Syndrom that anered alot for me.
My take on it is that even though he isn't drinking he is thinking in an alcoholic way.
I hope it helps.
Love,
Jillybean
Dry Drunk Syndrome
Sobriety will necessarily have its ups and downs, its good times and its bad times, if only because we live in a world which we are inseparably joined. One doesn't always sustain sobriety at the same level. There are fluctuations, shocks and setbacks which, when addressed within the context of the A.A. program, so not in themselves imperil the totality of one's sobriety. The Dry Drunk Syndrome is a term that should not be used as a catch-all when one has a bad day or a bump in life throws us for a while. Those are ups and downs that everyone experiences and shouldn't be labeled to be anything more than what they truly are. The Dry Drunk is a condition far more serious than the highs and lows of our day-to-day existence.
The phrase "dry drunk" has two significant words for the alcoholic. "Dry" refers to the abstinence from drinking, whereas "drunk" signifies a deeply pathological condition resulting from the use of alcohol in the past. Taken together these words suggest intoxication without alcohol. Since intoxication comes from the Greek word for poison, "dry drunk" implies a state of mind and a mode of behavior that are poisonous to the alcoholic's well being.
OBVIOUS TRAITS Persons experiencing a full-blown DRY DRUNK are, for that period, removed from the world of sobriety; they fail, for whatever reason, to accept the necessary conditions for sober living. Their mental and emotional homes are chaotic, their approach to everyday living is unrealistic, and their behavior, both verbal and physical, is unacceptable.
This lack of sober realism manifests itself in many ways.
1. Grandiosity, put very simply, is an exaggeration of one's own importance. This can be demonstrated either in terms of one's strengths or weaknesses. In either case it is blatantly self- seeking or self-serving, putting oneself at the center of attention, from the "big me" who has ask the answers to the "poor me" whose cup of self-pity runneth over and wants all of our attention.
2. Judgmentalism is mutually related to grandiosity. It means that the alcoholic is prone to make value judgments - strikingly inappropriate evaluations - usually in terms of "goodness" or "badness".
3. Intolerance leaves no room for delaying the gratification of personal desires. This is accomplished by gross confusion of priorities with the result that a mere whim or passing fancy is mistakenly given more importance than genuine personal needs.
4. Impulsivity is the result of intolerance or the lack of ability to delay gratification of personal desires. Impulsivity describes behavior which is heedless of the ultimate consequence for self or others.
5. Indecisiveness is related to impulsitivity in the sense that while the latter takes no realistic account of the consequences of the actions, the former precludes effective action altogether. Indecisiveness stems from an unrealistic exaggeration of the negative possibilities of the action ; so one wavers between two or more possible courses of action, more times than not- nothing gets done.
These conditions, grandiosity, judgmentalism, intolerance ,impulsivity, and indecisiveness taken separately or together can lead to the following: a) Mood swings, which are unrelated to the circumstances to which one tries to link them. Alcoholics zero in on what they want others to think is the cause of the mood swing, when it isn't that at all. More often than not it is something much deeper than the reason given. Inversely it can also be something totally insignificant with no substance at all (e.g. the sugar is too sweet or the donut is too round). Any excuse will do. b) Unable to demonstrate emotions freely, naturally and without constraint. No emotional spontaneity, no genuine spark. c) Introspection. A very healthy thing to do is difficult if not impossible for the "dry drunk". It means to look inward to one's examining each thought and desire, which is linked directly to one's attitude. d) Detachment. Become aloof, display indifference, don't care one way or the other, no special likes or dislikes, they withdraw. e) Self-absorption- with a tendency to call attention to whatever they have attained. Narcissism which is quite simply self-love. They become pompous asses. f) The inability to appreciate or enjoy themselves - nothing satisfies. g) Evidence of disorganization, is easily distracted, complains of boredom, and nothing seems to fit. h) A nostalgia sets in, a kind of wistful yearning for something of the past, such as freedom from care associated (falsely) with drinking, bars, drinking associates, and friends; the music, blue lights, and tinkle of the ice cubes in a glass in the neighborhood saloon. i) There can be a kind of romanticism, which includes unrealistic valuations of lifestyles and character traits which can be and usually are objectively dangerous to one's sobriety. j) Escapism. Fantasizing, daydreaming, and wishful thinking are very much in evidence in the dry drunk syndrome as the individual slips farther and farther from reality.
Since the abnormality of the alcoholic's attitudes and behavior during the drinking career is generally recognized, the persistence or these character traits after stopping drinking (or the reappearance after an interlude of sobriety) is equally abnormal.
The term "dry drunk" therefore denotes the absences of favorable change in the attitudes and behavior of the alcoholic who is not drinking, or the reversion of these by the alcoholic who has experienced a period of successful sobriety. From these conditions, it is to be inferred that the alcoholic is experiencing discomfort in life.
The self-destructive attitudes and behavior of the dry drunk alcoholic are different in degree but not in kind. The alcoholic, when drinking, has learned to rely on a deeply inadequate, radically immature approach to solving life's problems. And this is exactly what one sees in the dry drunk.
ANALYSIS OF DRY DRUNK BEHAVIOR The alcoholic who rationalizes their own irresponsible behavior are also likely to find fault in the attitudes and behavior of others. Although not denying their own shortcomings, they attempt to escape notice by cataloging in great detail the transgressions of others.
The classic maneuver of the dry drunk is over-reaction. The alcoholic may attach a seemingly disproportionate intensity of feeling to an ordinary insignificant event or mishap.
Some alcoholics who experience the dry drunk seem to know all the answers, are seldom at a loss for words when it comes to self-diagnosis. Their knowledge is quite impressive, their apparent insight, as opposed to genuine insight, is convincing.
CORRECTIVE MEASURES: Those undergoing a dry drunk lead impoverished lives. They experience severe limitations to grow,, to mature, and benefit from the possibilities that life offers. They lack the freshness and spontaneity that genuinely sober alcoholics manifest. Their life is a closed system, attitudes and behaviors are stereotyped, repetitive, and consequently predictable.
Alcoholics learn early that humility and a power greater than them- selves are the bedrock for a genuine and productive sobriety. An unusual measure of self-discipline must accompany the ego deflation process. Needed is self-discipline in honesty, patience and responsibility towards the recovery process [and acceptance of their disease]. [To improve long term goals of sobriety be aware of mental stressors, get more involved in the recovery program, get active in the 12 steps, get and use a sponsor, talk things out.] Hopefully. they will begin to appreciate the ironic folly of those alcoholics who think life has suddenly become manageable again; whose sanity is beyond question; who see no need of turning their lives over to a power greater then them- selves; who find personal inventories unnecessary since they are seldom in the wrong and are no longer subject to the embarrassing need of repairing the wrongs they have done.
When dry drunk alcoholics awaken to this irony that they, still unmanageable, still powerless, are the ones who have made this remarkable "recovery," they may feel sufficiently mortified to want to change.
I am dealing with this now. He has been "dry" for almost a year but the lying!!!!!!
I found this article on Dry Drunk Syndrom that anered alot for me.
My take on it is that even though he isn't drinking he is thinking in an alcoholic way.
I hope it helps.
Love,
Jillybean
Dry Drunk Syndrome
Sobriety will necessarily have its ups and downs, its good times and its bad times, if only because we live in a world which we are inseparably joined. One doesn't always sustain sobriety at the same level. There are fluctuations, shocks and setbacks which, when addressed within the context of the A.A. program, so not in themselves imperil the totality of one's sobriety. The Dry Drunk Syndrome is a term that should not be used as a catch-all when one has a bad day or a bump in life throws us for a while. Those are ups and downs that everyone experiences and shouldn't be labeled to be anything more than what they truly are. The Dry Drunk is a condition far more serious than the highs and lows of our day-to-day existence.
The phrase "dry drunk" has two significant words for the alcoholic. "Dry" refers to the abstinence from drinking, whereas "drunk" signifies a deeply pathological condition resulting from the use of alcohol in the past. Taken together these words suggest intoxication without alcohol. Since intoxication comes from the Greek word for poison, "dry drunk" implies a state of mind and a mode of behavior that are poisonous to the alcoholic's well being.
OBVIOUS TRAITS Persons experiencing a full-blown DRY DRUNK are, for that period, removed from the world of sobriety; they fail, for whatever reason, to accept the necessary conditions for sober living. Their mental and emotional homes are chaotic, their approach to everyday living is unrealistic, and their behavior, both verbal and physical, is unacceptable.
This lack of sober realism manifests itself in many ways.
1. Grandiosity, put very simply, is an exaggeration of one's own importance. This can be demonstrated either in terms of one's strengths or weaknesses. In either case it is blatantly self- seeking or self-serving, putting oneself at the center of attention, from the "big me" who has ask the answers to the "poor me" whose cup of self-pity runneth over and wants all of our attention.
2. Judgmentalism is mutually related to grandiosity. It means that the alcoholic is prone to make value judgments - strikingly inappropriate evaluations - usually in terms of "goodness" or "badness".
3. Intolerance leaves no room for delaying the gratification of personal desires. This is accomplished by gross confusion of priorities with the result that a mere whim or passing fancy is mistakenly given more importance than genuine personal needs.
4. Impulsivity is the result of intolerance or the lack of ability to delay gratification of personal desires. Impulsivity describes behavior which is heedless of the ultimate consequence for self or others.
5. Indecisiveness is related to impulsitivity in the sense that while the latter takes no realistic account of the consequences of the actions, the former precludes effective action altogether. Indecisiveness stems from an unrealistic exaggeration of the negative possibilities of the action ; so one wavers between two or more possible courses of action, more times than not- nothing gets done.
These conditions, grandiosity, judgmentalism, intolerance ,impulsivity, and indecisiveness taken separately or together can lead to the following: a) Mood swings, which are unrelated to the circumstances to which one tries to link them. Alcoholics zero in on what they want others to think is the cause of the mood swing, when it isn't that at all. More often than not it is something much deeper than the reason given. Inversely it can also be something totally insignificant with no substance at all (e.g. the sugar is too sweet or the donut is too round). Any excuse will do. b) Unable to demonstrate emotions freely, naturally and without constraint. No emotional spontaneity, no genuine spark. c) Introspection. A very healthy thing to do is difficult if not impossible for the "dry drunk". It means to look inward to one's examining each thought and desire, which is linked directly to one's attitude. d) Detachment. Become aloof, display indifference, don't care one way or the other, no special likes or dislikes, they withdraw. e) Self-absorption- with a tendency to call attention to whatever they have attained. Narcissism which is quite simply self-love. They become pompous asses. f) The inability to appreciate or enjoy themselves - nothing satisfies. g) Evidence of disorganization, is easily distracted, complains of boredom, and nothing seems to fit. h) A nostalgia sets in, a kind of wistful yearning for something of the past, such as freedom from care associated (falsely) with drinking, bars, drinking associates, and friends; the music, blue lights, and tinkle of the ice cubes in a glass in the neighborhood saloon. i) There can be a kind of romanticism, which includes unrealistic valuations of lifestyles and character traits which can be and usually are objectively dangerous to one's sobriety. j) Escapism. Fantasizing, daydreaming, and wishful thinking are very much in evidence in the dry drunk syndrome as the individual slips farther and farther from reality.
Since the abnormality of the alcoholic's attitudes and behavior during the drinking career is generally recognized, the persistence or these character traits after stopping drinking (or the reappearance after an interlude of sobriety) is equally abnormal.
The term "dry drunk" therefore denotes the absences of favorable change in the attitudes and behavior of the alcoholic who is not drinking, or the reversion of these by the alcoholic who has experienced a period of successful sobriety. From these conditions, it is to be inferred that the alcoholic is experiencing discomfort in life.
The self-destructive attitudes and behavior of the dry drunk alcoholic are different in degree but not in kind. The alcoholic, when drinking, has learned to rely on a deeply inadequate, radically immature approach to solving life's problems. And this is exactly what one sees in the dry drunk.
ANALYSIS OF DRY DRUNK BEHAVIOR The alcoholic who rationalizes their own irresponsible behavior are also likely to find fault in the attitudes and behavior of others. Although not denying their own shortcomings, they attempt to escape notice by cataloging in great detail the transgressions of others.
The classic maneuver of the dry drunk is over-reaction. The alcoholic may attach a seemingly disproportionate intensity of feeling to an ordinary insignificant event or mishap.
Some alcoholics who experience the dry drunk seem to know all the answers, are seldom at a loss for words when it comes to self-diagnosis. Their knowledge is quite impressive, their apparent insight, as opposed to genuine insight, is convincing.
CORRECTIVE MEASURES: Those undergoing a dry drunk lead impoverished lives. They experience severe limitations to grow,, to mature, and benefit from the possibilities that life offers. They lack the freshness and spontaneity that genuinely sober alcoholics manifest. Their life is a closed system, attitudes and behaviors are stereotyped, repetitive, and consequently predictable.
Alcoholics learn early that humility and a power greater than them- selves are the bedrock for a genuine and productive sobriety. An unusual measure of self-discipline must accompany the ego deflation process. Needed is self-discipline in honesty, patience and responsibility towards the recovery process [and acceptance of their disease]. [To improve long term goals of sobriety be aware of mental stressors, get more involved in the recovery program, get active in the 12 steps, get and use a sponsor, talk things out.] Hopefully. they will begin to appreciate the ironic folly of those alcoholics who think life has suddenly become manageable again; whose sanity is beyond question; who see no need of turning their lives over to a power greater then them- selves; who find personal inventories unnecessary since they are seldom in the wrong and are no longer subject to the embarrassing need of repairing the wrongs they have done.
When dry drunk alcoholics awaken to this irony that they, still unmanageable, still powerless, are the ones who have made this remarkable "recovery," they may feel sufficiently mortified to want to change.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
I think it's important to not forget comorbidity. Removing the alcohol leaves the dry person. If I spend too much time focused on whether they are a dry drunk or just a pathological liar from the get go, that's time I could have spent focusing on me. Some people lie.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Huntington, IN, USA
Posts: 8
You wrote:
"I have a friend who is an A...He has stopped drinking but still seems to be lying ... I want my friend back but I...can't trust him...Would love any thoughts on the matter.
-----
the theme i see in most responses follows one of the first ones, which said:
"Take away the booze from a drunken horsethief and you still have a horsethief."
in my recovery, trust has been - if not last - nearly the last thing in my relationships to return. restablishing trust takes a lot of time, and apparently in the case of your friend and for whatever reason(s), has not yet have even begun.
something you might be able to do when you are ever around your friend is to tell your friend that you like them better when they are honest with you. this can be done in a variety of ways, using different emphases, intensities or the like. some 'tell it like it is' and very bluntly so...along the lines of they won't put up with their dishonesty - with a sort of tough love approach. others just respond to perceived honesty and ignore the rest. some combine the approaches and still others allow the friendship to naturally dissolve - or out and out break it off.
for me, the bottom line becomes that its tough to be friends with somebody who is dishonest with me. i need to stay sober. if somebody else's dishonesty impacts my sobriety in any way - whether through dishonesty or any other character defect, i need to take some sort of action to stay sober.
in fellowship....whispering owl
"I have a friend who is an A...He has stopped drinking but still seems to be lying ... I want my friend back but I...can't trust him...Would love any thoughts on the matter.
-----
the theme i see in most responses follows one of the first ones, which said:
"Take away the booze from a drunken horsethief and you still have a horsethief."
in my recovery, trust has been - if not last - nearly the last thing in my relationships to return. restablishing trust takes a lot of time, and apparently in the case of your friend and for whatever reason(s), has not yet have even begun.
something you might be able to do when you are ever around your friend is to tell your friend that you like them better when they are honest with you. this can be done in a variety of ways, using different emphases, intensities or the like. some 'tell it like it is' and very bluntly so...along the lines of they won't put up with their dishonesty - with a sort of tough love approach. others just respond to perceived honesty and ignore the rest. some combine the approaches and still others allow the friendship to naturally dissolve - or out and out break it off.
for me, the bottom line becomes that its tough to be friends with somebody who is dishonest with me. i need to stay sober. if somebody else's dishonesty impacts my sobriety in any way - whether through dishonesty or any other character defect, i need to take some sort of action to stay sober.
in fellowship....whispering owl
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
One last thing, slightly hijacking here (Hey, it's all about me you know).
I want to thank you all for this post and the responses. I had 5 years sober in my mid 20s, and returned to booze 10 years ago. This led to loss of house, wife, job, etc. I accepted my part in all that. But, I still kind of felt victimized, that my wifes' nagging & other behaivor is what drove me to that 1st drink.
After reading these posts, I realize two things. One, that I was miserable and making her life miserable. Two, that I was doomed to drink again, no matter what the outside influences were.
Thank God I found recovery.
[/hijack]
I want to thank you all for this post and the responses. I had 5 years sober in my mid 20s, and returned to booze 10 years ago. This led to loss of house, wife, job, etc. I accepted my part in all that. But, I still kind of felt victimized, that my wifes' nagging & other behaivor is what drove me to that 1st drink.
After reading these posts, I realize two things. One, that I was miserable and making her life miserable. Two, that I was doomed to drink again, no matter what the outside influences were.
Thank God I found recovery.
[/hijack]
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Hurricane Alley, Fl
Posts: 119
I think sobriety and getting clean are two different things: Getting clean is putting down the bottle. Getting sober is committing to life -- a real life, with responsibility, honesty and all those other grown-up things that booze and drugs help you opt out of; and facing all those character defects that come blazing to the forefront once the drink/drugs are stripped away...
in my family full of alcoholics, it was as easy to lie as to tell the truth. It takes practice to unlearn that kind of thing...and the willingness, of course, to want to...
in my family full of alcoholics, it was as easy to lie as to tell the truth. It takes practice to unlearn that kind of thing...and the willingness, of course, to want to...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 62
Dry Drunk
Thank you for your warm welcome.
I found the article on this site..
Minnesota Recovery Page
ABF may indeed be a pathalogical liar independent of alcoholism. He seems to live in the moment and gets angry when we have a good few stretch of days and I can't seem to just forget all that has consistently happened prior to that.
Indeed trust is earned SLOWLY after so much hurt has happened.
Learning is what I am doing for me right now. I's what is in my best interest.
Trust may or may not ever come back but I'm not focusing on that. I am focusing on gathering the tools for my healing.
I found the article on this site..
Minnesota Recovery Page
ABF may indeed be a pathalogical liar independent of alcoholism. He seems to live in the moment and gets angry when we have a good few stretch of days and I can't seem to just forget all that has consistently happened prior to that.
Indeed trust is earned SLOWLY after so much hurt has happened.
Learning is what I am doing for me right now. I's what is in my best interest.
Trust may or may not ever come back but I'm not focusing on that. I am focusing on gathering the tools for my healing.
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