drainedwife

I just read an email my ah wrote my daughter...he said he doesnt know why mommy is not letting him see her and her sister and that he will never forgive me for this. He said I loved you for 12 years and then mommy took you away from me. I dont know why mommy is doing this. How horrible is that?
( for those of you who havent kept up with my posts, i have an RO on my ah. it was amended by the judge who put down visitation, but that was only for last week..then we went back to court this past thursday and my ah did not sign the agreement so it reverted back to the restraining order however, there was no provisioins in there for him to see the girls this week, because it was specifically dated for 6/13 6/17 and 6/19.)
She wrote him back by saying it is not my fault and i am sorry that they cant see him and i shouldnt say that i am mean because there is nothing i can do about it.

smart girl i have huh????

he will blame me until the cows come home....and im sure he has his family blaming me too...

also--my lawer called me today and said that my ah left him a message that he is firing his lawyer and is getting a new one...he is not signing the agreement and is going to be drawing up his own agreement because he doesnt like the one we drew up. unbelievable. He just wants to keep going until he wins...god forbid he should look at himself and decide that he needs to do whatever it takes to keep his family....god forbid he should be wrong about something...he would never be able to deal with that guilt so he has to blame me....

Live

Keep the email. You may need supervised visitation.

best

He is doing what they do because that is what they do.
I am sure your own lawyer will have some answers for you.

You have a very smart little girl and If he continues such, you could maybe have the RO add no e-mails. Be sure to save what he sends and make copies.

rose

DW,

I hope that you print and keep the e-mails he is sending. Is there a way that you can read them before your daughter has to. She is getting placed right smack in the middle, I think somehow you have to find a way to have it stopped, this is adult stuff and she doesn't need it. It is hard enough for an adult to comprehend what is going on never mind a child. Maybe his visits should be supervised as well.

Rose

Live

Thank you Rose!

Lovestoomuch

You're doing great DW. Stay strong and remember.......don't let what he says make you doubt yourself. Your daughter is one smart cookie and she's lucky to have a mother like you to protect her from this nonsense. I have to agree with the others. Supervised visits may be in order here. He is now mentally abusing your daughter by bad mouthing her mother. Pitting parent against parent is despicable.

Elana

If I were you I would do something about the email correspondance... change ISP's, supervise the computer use.. if that is at all possible.

And yes, print and keep EVERY email to your daughter. She is a minor. Be certain this cr*p is gotten to your lawyer and to the judge. If there is a way to eliminate the Email contact altogether, I would do it.

You need to stay sttrong. He thinks because he is a lawyer and you are not, he can WIN. This is no longer about loving his kids or his family.. what I am seeing here is simply needing to win.. to control the outcome.

No different than needing to be first in line at the movies, ahead of everyone else in traffic or with the highest score in a poker game.. and winning regardless of how. He will resort to ANY tactics he can to win. Be very careful of him.

Ann

I'd cut him off at the pass, too. He has no right to correspond with any of you, so perhaps changing e-mail addresses and not telling him might be the best road to follow.

I also agree, keep copies and lay charges if necessary. This man is obsessed with controlling you all and won't stop. That's a dangerous man, if you ask me. Be careful, protect yourself and don't hide anything from your lawyer or the law.

Hugs

dollydo

Yes, I agree with the others....protect yourself.

duet_4-8

Absolutely copy and give EVERYTHING to your attorney. It stopped my ex cold in his tracks when he learned that my attorney had 30-odd minutes of recorded ramblings he left on my voice mail....nothing convicts someone like their own mouth!

just for today

Most email accounts have a blocked sender list that you can add an email address to and they will not get delivered to your/her account and will be returned to the sender....check yours out, look at their FAQ or do a search in their help section for block email......

Peace

liesagain

wow drained that is really not helping the situation is it?
I know you love him and this is difficult for you....but he's betting more and more out of control..........he is only thinking of himself and right now he just doesnt seem safe at all.............

please take the others advise and keep the emails show them to your lawyer.........

as for your daughter.she did well but at the same time this is most likely very hard for her..maybe she could see someone who she can really talk to ( other than you since she seems well aware you have enough to deal with she may not want to burden you and I'd bet she could use an uninvolved person)
Your doing a good job stick to it..no matter how hard it gets................

and I'll tell you what I told my AH tonight ( hes in rehab......lots happened not much good from my perspective except hes getting help )

anyhow ...........I told him, it really is okay that I dont take ( at least I'm trying very hard not to take)
his actions or words to heart right now....he's still sick and that what I am doing is beginning to learn about me..my role in this and my issues..........and that in the end we may not be together but if we both keep working on ourselfs.....that I believe that we will BOTH be better people because of all thats happened!!

And ya know what I finally really meant that...............baby steps
we may not get it all at once but by gosh I think I'm getting something!!!