PurpleReign

I've hit the lowest of lows and everything seem okay on the inside out, but on the outside in, I've failed miserably.

I'm at a loss for words, excuses, and everything I once held very dear.

My life is not in danger, I have a friend coming to visit - so please don't worry.

I just ask that you pray for me and be here for me - this is an terrible time to ask for help considering everyone else is struggling with life too. My coherent sentences and knowledge of punctuation give the false illusion that I've got it under control. I've lost control and I need some help.

Man, I'm really struggling and I admit it. I'm defeated.

PR

Alive

we are here...do you wanna talk..anything we are here..

it will be ok. i know.

Aysha

We are always here for you PR.
No problem too big or small.
We are here all the way.
Come how you are because we will love you all the same.

nogard

((((PR)))) hang in there.

Kevin

Surlyredhead

(((((PurpleReign)))))

I am here if you need me, you already have one special prayer on the way and I will keep you there. If you need to talk, we are here...

Cathy

CarolD

Glad to see you are having a friend come over.

(+) (+) (+) Mega Hugs and Prayers

Live

Purple Reign,

I care how you are. My best wishes are with you and I hope you are able to receive the help you need. you seem like a very sensitive soul.

Anna

PurpleReign,

We are here for you.

If you want to talk, we are here. I'm sending lots of hugs and prayers your way.

Hang on!

PurpleReign

Thank you so much.

I really don't even know what to say, I still haven't learned to let go and let God.

PR

CarolD

What happened etween now and this?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ose-fence.html

If you drank again....Quit.
I was in AA 5 years before
I earned a 1 year chip...
My latest has 18 on it...

You too can recover PR

PurpleReign

Blatant stupidity Carol...no excuse.

PR

Anna

PurpleReign,

You''re being very hard on yourself. I think we all understand the ups and downs of addiction and recovery and I sure know it's not always a smooth road. We're here, if you want to talk.

SaTiT

I'm praying or sending good thoughts to ya PR.
now totally sure about a lot of stuff or how it works
but I'm praying anyways..

Dee74

when you can/want to talk about it PR, I'm here to talk (well, me and another
<counts> 9 or 10 people [so far] )

peace
D

PurpleReign

Thanks ST,
Man I'm not a crier, but the sh1t is flowing right now and I can't stop it. Even my ego is getting in the way of admitting I'm beat.

I'm such a hyprocite of Christianity, Sobriety, and everything else. My world is upside down right now.

I've often wonder if I should be a priest - but not until now, did I see the errors of my ways. I just want to be normal and not have this burden - how is it that I care about the lives of other but not my own?

I've mastered manipulation but am a novice of life. I'm a beginner and to realize that hurts deeply.

I try so hard to be what I want to be...and I'm I really hope I'm realizing that I can accept what it is that God wants me to be. This has nothing to do with my recent female friend...things couldn't be better between us - but unbeknownst to her I phucked it all up.

Thanks everyone, this is a hard ass road to beat. Thank you for being there for me.

CarolD

Relax PR....
Eat something...Shower...Put on soothing music
Drink a quart of water.

And Pray for peace of mind.

chicago

please explain whats going on. its not like youve done something so horrific that AA'ers wouldnt understand. ive done some things so terrible that most of humanity would never talk to me again. but thats why im safe in AA...because AA'er have been there. rigerous honesty, my friend. you might feel better.

PurpleReign

Thank you everyone, I read everyone's words. Thank you.

Damn I'm so damn weak right now.

Chicago,
Man, I think I've ruined my life by my decision last night. My job. My house. Everything - gone.

PR

Dee74

like you say PR, it's a hard road but, as long as you get up again and keep moving onwards, you can never be beaten

take care
D

PurpleReign

Friends...family, thank you so much for hearing me and being there for me. My friend has driven 1.5 hours to stay and has played Travis Tritt's "It's great day" for me. I hate country. I love that song.

Peace be with you all, I wish I could hug each of you right now. I have an easy time expressing love but a difficult time receiving it. Thank you all - I truly love you.

PR