phil500

Hey,

I am addicted to food, alcohol and online computer games. All I do is come home with a box of wine and sit and play games.

I have been doing this for about 6 months, and have gained 30 pounds. I dont go to my martial arts class (which I love and makes me feel great and is social). I cant force myself to go.

I dont usually take my anti depressant because it tears up my stomach when I have been drinking.

Im a teacher and only working 20 hour weeks this summer, so that just leaves me more time to slowly kill myself with booze and isolation.

My problem is: it feels like I cant do what I need to do to pull my life out of this ********.

Like stopping doesnt make sense, and I just think "why would I want to suffer today" and I consume food, booze and video games to keep from suffering for one more day. Sadly looks like I got this one day at a time thing all wrong, I abuse everything i can one day at a time.

I dont know what to do.

Anna

Hi phil,

It can be overwhelming when addiction takes over your life. I remember not knowing if I could ever get free from alcohol. But, you can do it, IF you want to. It's hard work and takes a lot of motivation, but if you want to change your life, you can do it. Take one step outside of the cycle that you're in. Don't drink today. Go outside for a walk. Just do one small thing and your life can begin to change.

ontrackagain

I can relate. I have been taking a muay thai class for sometime now. I broke my foot recently and will not be able to do that for about 2 more months. When drinking, the alcohol makes me very hungry for junk food the next day. Then with that satisfied, I would booze it up again that night. This would continue until I had to take a few days off. I suggest finding face to face, local help ASAP.

After a few days clean, I would get to that martial arts class as soon as I could. That forced me to eat better. It also made me feel better. Alcohol also helped me stay on the internet doing mindless and sometimes mind-numbing "activities".

You gotta arrest the alcohol first, the rest should come much easier after that.

My .02 cents.

Aysha

Hi phil..glad you are here.

We do have an eating disorder forum here.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/eating-disorders/

And alcohol...

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/

We have a gambling one..But I dont know if thats what your doing or just regular online games.

When we have alot of free time we can tend to develop some addictions.
I sit on the computer all day too and smoke alot of cigarettes as I do.
But I do get out and do things. At least I try.

My butt starts hurting so I gotta get up and move.
Anyhow..there is alot of support here and info.
So look around and hope to see more posts from you.

2ala2

Hey Phil,
You're doing the right thing by reaching out for help on this forum. Go to an AA meeting as soon as you can and you will find answers to all your questions.
"Insanity is repeating the same mistakes and expecting diffirent results" NA Basic txt.
Good Luck

Rowan

Hi Phil,

I'm guessing you DO want to stop, or you wouldn't be here. It's hard knowing how to stop, exactly, especially with more than one addiction, and a whole mess of unmanageability.
Try to tackle things one at a time, if you can.
You took an important first step by posting here. I hope that you continue to do so.
Welcome to the family.

Rowan

CarolD

Hi and Welcome to SR!..

Here is a link full of information
excerpts from the book that convinced me to quit drinking

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

I stay quit with God and AA.

hope you find your answers to a healthier life of joy
I certainly have.


Blessings

Jersey Nonny

Let's face it...if any of us could continue to drink, smoke, eat without becoming drunk, stupid, sick, fat...we'd still be out there. When all those things are no longer the "fun" we thought they used to be, we look/ask for help to dig ourselves out of that quagmire we've become stuck in.

To put it bluntly...get a life. Sitting in front of the pc, even while eating and drinking wine, can't be considered much of an existence. There's a whole beautiful world out there, and lots of experiences to enjoy...try going to AA meetings at least one hour a day...it's a great place to make new sober friends. Sounds like you could use some socialization away from the pc.

Grateful Heart

Hi Phil, glad to have you with us. I can't think of anything to add except pray and ask for strength and guidance. And keep reading and posting

Joi

Hey Phil. I'm a teacher too. Or WAS. Got caught drinking on the job and couldn't buy a teaching position for 3 years. Guess what? I became a maid, a retail clerk, and now a principal took mercy upon me and I'll be teaching alternative school this Fall. Thank God Almighty!

GlassPrisoner

Hi Joi, I was fired for drinking on the job too.

Then I was in AA, and really confused when interviewers would ask "So, why did you leave your last job ?"

Spiritual Seeker

Stop anyway. Unplug your computer and put it in the garage or closet for the summer. Without it you will have to find other ways to occupy your time...maybe productively.

michski

When I was a wino I got fat. Wine has a lot of calories in it and it makes you hungry. Don't torture yourself by quitting everything! If you can just quit drinking I know you'll lose weight too... you'll also be a better player with your video games. Something about early sobriety always spurs a little health kick. It's so good to feel human again!

Man, it's the booze that's keeping you where you are.. deal with your reality and give yourself some sober time just so you can really feel who you are again.

lostmdboy

When i first quit I could not emagine life w/out alcohol, but now I can not emagine it w/it. Trust us it is a good life. Just one day at a time though.

IO Storm

Welcome to SR!

It sounds to me me like you are sadly recognizing a state you

are "sliding" into and are not yet familiar with.

THAT'S GREAT!!

You can probably change these things that are harming your

health and sanity by tackling them one at a time...as Anna said..

small changes.

instead of the PC..I'd ditch the booze first...

Good luck.

Keep posting.

Love,

IO

phil500

Thanks for the replies.

Didnt drink tonite and went to a meeting. caught myself being pissed off as hell but managed to get some good thoughts out of each share and got the number of an old timer.

went for a walk today.

I never made it to drinking on the job but I knew i had a problem when I started to feel pissed that i cant drink WHILE driving, and thought about how nice it would be to buy a case and get started on it during my commute home.

@ ontrack: i can really relate. drinking makes me crave junk food, excercise makes me crave health food. weird.

tomorrow i will make it to martial arts class and a meeting. those are my goals.

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

I'm glad you went to a meeting Phil. Keep trying different ones, and call that oldtimer too.

Cut yourself some slack..work on one thing at a time and all the rest will fall into place, I promise.

splendra

((((phil500))))

Welcome and keep posting I believe you can make it out of your $hithole....

angie9

hey Phil hope things are going well for you :0)
Ang

lostmdboy

Glad you are back. Isn't nice to wake up w/out a hang over?