AllMyFault

The EXAB won't...
-return the house keys
-remove his property or clean up the mess he made of the yard
-pay the full expense of fixing the window he broke

But expects me to...
-find a roomate so he can skip on the lease he signed
-forward the property he wants (at my expense)
-stop contacting him regarding the previous things he refuses to do

dollydo

My vote: He is, goes with the territory.

denny57

I would:
Change the locks
Hire a couple teens to take his junk out and clean up the yard
Fix the window and write it off
Take him to small claims court to collect on the lease he signed
Give him a date to pick up his stuff or it's sold or thrown away
Stop contacting him (after that)

MsGolightly

go denny! i want you on my side in any kind of fighting match

GlassPrisoner

Denny gives good advice.

denny57

Thanks, you guys! I sure wish sometimes I wasn't speaking from experience LOL!

Spiritual Seeker

Accept the gift he gave you by leaving. You must know you can't depend on him
Quickly pick up the pieces of your life and rely on the only one you can, yourself.
Have you ran that ad for a roommate yet? Live and learn. When we know better we do better. I bet you won't be moving in with another guy like that. Separating is always difficult and I am so sorry your relationship didn't work out> Addicts do not make good responsible partners...you know that now. This too will pass.

thinkmink

I'd change the locks, give him notice when he can pick up his stuff. Make sure to send it certified letter and tell him that anything left after the deadline will be considered abadoned. Then sell, donate, toss whatever is left and say good riddens to the whole ugly mess.

Rella927

DITTO what Denny said! she does give great advice! I have learned alot from her and others in here.

Denny unfortunate it is from a bad experience but you have made a difference in others lives on this board (and out I'm sure) that have had experience's of their own.

And that makes a better experience of learning how to love and care for others while not forgetting YOU!

parentrecovers

action! take action and move on. thinking about you, k

lostnfound1961

The ansure is NOT YOU.

AllMyFault

Well I wound up emailing his parents (who incidently blame his alcoholic behaviour on me) and low and behold all the crap is out of the yard, the window is fixed and the lawn is mowed, but I don't have my keys back or know when the hell i am going to see any rent from the $#%$#^%$#....
YET.

dollydo

Hmmm, the power of email! I do agree with others, change those locks, one less thing to worry about.

StandingStrong

He's crazy - it comes with the territory of being an addict I believe.

You're crazy if you continue to play the game.

Stop arguing with him and do what you need to do.
Words are just words - and actions speak much much louder.

minnie

I learned to always listen to what Denny has to say - she is one of my touchstones. I am sorry you have had to learn the hard way too, however at least we learnt, right?!

One thing Denny and I have discussed (having had similar issues in extracting ourselves from our respective relationships) is the importance of keeping emotions and practicalities seperate and dealing with each of them accordingly.

If he owes you money, write to him and tell him you will go via the small claims court of you do not receive payment within 14 days. Then do it if he fails to produce the money.

If you are angry and full of resentments (and who isn't in your position?) get some counselling or go to meetings.

sthrnraizd

What wonderful sound advice!!!!

atalose

Change the locks and write off the rent he owes you. Don't contact him again it's a losing battle unless you take him to court. It will only drain you emotionaly to remain in contact with him or expect him to come through with any $.

ebv

I'm with Denny!!!!!!!!!
1. new locks
2. have it hauled to the dump
3. take him to court for the window and price of hauling off his junk, must not be worth much if he won't come and get it.