Newcomer...

I know some of you may have already seen my post in other areas, but it's too hard to write a new description of what happened, so i'm just going to start off with the same one... I'll add more to the story later... Thanks for any help/advice you may have...

Over the weekend I was faced with a horrible decision. Leave my live in boyfriend, get a restraining order and sit back and watch him slowly kill himself, or do something.
And yesterday I went to court with a few family members of his and had him committed to a 30 day state alcohol and substance abuse center. I feel awful. Even though I know all the facts and I know logically that I did what I had to do to keep him safe, I know that he hates me more than anything or anyone right now. All I can do is hope and pray that in the next 30 days he's able to get clear headed enough to see why we had to do this - and how bad he really was.
As of yesterday he was in COMPLETE denial. Even after I took his car keys Friday night, he took a friend's car and got a DUI on Saturday - he blames me for that, for calling his family, for taking any pills in the first place, and now for sending him away. He thinks I turned the whole world against him - and really all I did was pull together the people who love him the most and were willing to do something in some attempt to save him.
I keep questioning if I should have let him sober up and tried to talk him into treatment - even though i know this never would have happened. It's an awful thing to see someone you love in handcuffs and ankle chains being brought into a courtroom. And to have to watch him while he listens to the testimony you gave to put him where he was. And then to listen to him lie on the stand and say that the only reason I am doing this is because he broke up with me (which he didn't, unless you count his drug induced rage when he told me he wanted nothing to do with me again).
I know he must be so scared where he is. It's a state run facility run by the department of correction. I basically sent him to jail. Stupid things, like, I wonder if they gave him an extra pillow because I know how he likes to pile them up to go to sleep. Or what to do with all the food in our fridge I bought for him at the grocery store last week. Or if I should start packing up his things and talk to the apartment company about breaking our lease we signed only 2 months ago.
I know all the answers - I work in mental health and have professional experience with substance abuse. I know I need to give him time to get past the denial and the anger, and hope he comes around. But it's a lot easier to give that advice than it is to live it.
Please, if anyone has had to do this to a family member, or has had it done to them, it would really help to hear the success stories. The stories where it worked and the person came home. I know it's not always the case. I just have to hope and pray that he comes around. He's the greatest guy in the world - when he's sober. When pills and alcohol enter the picture, he's someone I don't recognize.

I love him and would do anything for him. And now I did - I locked him up for 30 days to try to save his life.

ncdeac

Wow, what a rough time you are going through. I have no advice to offer since I've never been in that position, but I just wanted to say that you and your boyfriend will be in my thoughts. I hope and pray that he can take this time, clear his head and find his way to recovery.

MsPINKAcres

On February 7, 2003, I had the sheriff's dept pick-up my AH because I filled the paperwork to have him committed. He spent the next 60 something days in a treatment center.

Up until recently, He has been working a wonderful program of recovery. Although he is struggling with some issues right now - He is still in a much better place than he was prior to treatment. He was 48 yrs old and had been thru in-patient treatment twice and out-patient treatment numerous times prior to this time.

So you never know if this may be the time that the "light" of recovery finally does come on for him. Try to take your focus off of him and take start taking care of yourself. Let Go & Let God is a good place to slogan to help you.

Wishing you Serenity & Joy,
Rita

Newcomer...

Thank you. I just hope that several years from now i'm not telling someone about how he's been through several inpatient programs and one is finally working.
I hope we caught him before things got too bad. It's really only been the past few months that he's been truly "addicted" to the pills and drinking so much. And just this past weekend that things went totally out of control and I started to truly fear for his safety. Before that things were good. He'd use occasionally - not that that's ok - but then he'd stop and not touch anything again for weeks at a time. This time was just too much. With the exception of maybe one week that he stopped, he's been using pills for about 2 months. And this weekend I really thought he'd hurt himself.
I found an AlAnon meeting tonight, not too far from home. I'm going to try really hard to go. I almost went last night, but just couldn't. Partly because I was just so exhausted from the events over the weekend. Partly because making that first step to walk in the door for the first time is just so hard.
To those people who have offered their thoughts and prayers - thank you. It's comforting to know there are people praying for him.