a-partner

My partner is an alcoholic, he wont admit it, gets drunk every night alone. I dont drink. He drinks to the point where he cant stand up.

We ahave two children

I dont know where to start

He gets like a red mist and EVERYTHING is wrong when he has had a drink, he isnt violent but will do other things,

What do I do

mallowcup

What other things? There is something particularly sad and acarey about someone who sits and drinks alone. Have you talked to him sober, is there any interest on his part to recover?

embraced2000

welcome to the forum....it's a wonderful place for people just like you. we all have the same issuess in our lives....the common thread being we love an alcoholic.

my ex-hubs would drink alone and was very angry. it got seriously dangerous.

so he not only was an alcoholic, he had anger issues also.

there is a lot of good info at the top of the page.....the stickies. lots of good stuff there to read.

WantsOut

Mine was a solo drinker too. He actually wouldn't drink at all during say Thanksgiving dinner, but when we got home he'd start in on the 12-pack. He'd just sit there swaying in his chair getting drunker and drunker.

When you say "other things" that's the part that scares me. Are you safe?

Rella927

Mine actually did both....my brother however was a solo drinker and would then go in and be very verbally abusive to my mother (Was living in my parents house as we thought he was doing his recovery-very masterful at lies and manipulation he was-had my mom fooled for months!)

"Other things" kind is a concern for me as well-when my XAB solo drank-I always tried to make sure that I was safe...and had a way OUT! I hope you are safe!

(((hugs)))

Janitw

Hello and welcome to SR....my ex was a solo drinker also and seldom did he become violent but lookout when he did. Watch him closely. Start a journal and document his behavior patterns and actions ok. Stay out of his way in a careful manner. He does sound a little dangerous hun...keep coming back here ok and thanks for sharing with us.

Cynay

Welcome to SR ... Im happy to meet you and get to know you. You dont have to go though this alone .... we are all here to help.

Why dont you start by letting us know how your feeling, what is happening in your home, how is it effecting the family. Get it off your chest hon... you will feel so much better.

PaddyCake

Hi a-partner~

My AF is also mostly a solo drinker too because he has no real friends or anyone to hang out with. He also hides his drinking from us, so we don't catch him "in the act". He is not violent, but he is scarey nonetheless. I don't know what to tell you. I do not live with my A and I am not currently in contact with him because of his drinking and strange behaviour, but if you live with him, it is very difficult to do that. My family members who do live with the A try to avoid him most of the time. They leave the house frequently and go play golf or visit friends, etc. Thankfully, in our case, he drinks until he passes out at like 8:00 p.m. on most nights, so their is some peace at home in the evenings.

prodigal

Welcome, a-p - glad you found us. It appears we have folks here who deal with isolators. Mine has no contact with his family (other than the obligatory Mother's Day call) and has no friends. He drinks alone and that's about the only time he drones on and on about nonsense. Otherwise, he doesn't speak much.

Please let us know what your partner does when he drinks. Although you don't indicate that he's physically violent, is he verbally abusive or does he break things? You're not alone, so fill us in on what you feel comfortable about discussing. Glad you're here.

parentrecovers

nice to meet you. i have an daughter who is an alcoholic/addict - alanon and private counseling really help me. blessings, k

aztchr

My exabf would also stay home and drink alone--every day after work into the night where he would pass out in the chair. Seems to be very common.

Welcome! Keep posting and stay safe!

CE Girl

Hey a-partner,,,welcome to SR

What do you do?

Well, for one, come to SR and read what other people do

Read the stickeys at the top of the forum.

What helped me when I first came here was the suggestion of reading some books,

My favorite are:

Getting Them Sober
Co Dependant no more

Keep posting,,,

Peace

leenymclaugh

My AH drank solo (and drinks solo when he relapses) because he is a sneaker drinker. How fun can that be? Very sad. What helped me? What did I do? I found Al-Anon. Al-Anon did, in fact, restore my sanity (not that I had much to begin with), but I am feeling quite sane today. The literature, sponsor, higher power, service work, all of it. Also, I am in several on line groups that help supplement my recovery.

Good luck.
Hugs,
Eileen

sb0804

Partner, welcome! I am new here myself and let me tell you it is a relief to just talk to others who are going through the same things.

For the longest time I thought I was alone but the more time I spend here I realize that we are not alone.

8675309

Welcome. I just found this site myself about a week ago and reading what other's are going through has helped me to realize that I'm not the only one going through this. My AH and I are seperated and this site has helped me with my sanity. My AH is also a solo drinker who says it's social because he goes to a bar to drink with other A's.

denny57

Welcome, a-partner, glad you're here!

Wanttobefree

Hi a-partner. You are already doing it. Reaching out, wanting help, wanting answers. You will get some good feedback here. I like what you said about the red mist. It gets pretty red around here too. My AH is a solo drinker, always has been. Heaven forbid he treat anyone else but me badly when he drinks, hence going solo. No one else would tolerate it. Keep reading and posting, it helps tremendously! Hugs.

lostnfound1961

Get out. Fined a way to take the kids and leave. If he is getting angry and acting out in any way with that anger it may lead to hitting you or the kids. The longer you stay and the more you get used to dealing with the crazyness, the harder it will be to leave. You are not the only one affected by what he is doing. The kids pick up on all of it and will also act out. I grew up in a home filled with alcoholics and it was horrable.

If you can....... get out. Get safe and get a new and happy life for you and the kids.
D