mimi54321

Hi you lot.

I have a quick question that I find impossible to answer.

How do you deal with the evenings without drinking?

I find the day is ok, but the evening is so difficult. I'd love to hear your coping tactics.

M xx

~Troy~

Have you any hobbies, interests, etc.?

I found that I had lost interest in most simple things when lost in addiction. Then I felt lost when I made the decision to quit. After a period of time, I had found that the things that I had truely enjoyed, but that were thrown to the wayside, I had all the time in the world for.

Now the typical best answer for this question would most likely be "go to a meeting". What I'm looking at is something a little deeper, yet going to meetings I found were a lost interest to me, meaning on a level of fellowship with others that I had lost. Going to a meeting is always a good thing.

A 12 step program is a program of lifestyle change, not just about not drinking or drugging today. I had found that my lifestyle change is actually being able to do things that I had dreamed of prior to getting lost in addiction.

sonas

Hi mimi,

I know what you mean about evenings. For years I thought I had incurable insomnia and was one of the excuses that I used for drinking every evening. But within the past 6 months I discovered that it was withdrawal that was causing the insomnia.

Personally, I love films. But when drinking, even a small amount, I'd tend to miss parts of the story. I watched some films recently that I'd seen before, but I must have been fairly drunk because I had forgotton most of what happened.
So that would be one of my answers to passing the time if I'm feeling stuck.

It's very early days for me, but I'm going to start putting aside an hour every evening if I can to just go for a walk to nowhere in particular, for the exercise and it's also good for preventing depression.

Hope that helps a bit.

Campergirl

Yeah, there are a ton of movies that I need to watch again to see if I liked them or not.

Hope

Walking, movies, and maybe a meeting or two sounds like a good plan.

Aysha

I dont drink so cant help you ther.
But night time is usually when I get my thoughts of wanting to get high.
I jst come here.. Bug my grams..walk to my aunts.

Whatever.
Anything to keep my mind right.
Hope you get through it. Stay strong.

IO Storm

I call my mom and chat with her..not about my probs but

to encourage her..she's 84 and alone...I'm the only one who

does this every day and I feel good that I have done a good

thing...a small payback for everything this dear lady has

done for me.

Watching TV is good..I like dramas..and learning shows and

funny stuff.

I get "ansty" in the late evening before I take my bipolar meds..

Lately I'll clean something I've neglected.. a shelf..a box of

stuff..anything..and am SLOWLY getting organized.

Love,

IO

Anna

Mimi,

It was the evenings that were always SO hard for me. I worked, dealt with the kids and all the rest of it. My husband travelled a lot, and it would be during the evenings that I would feel overwhelmed with loneliness and sadness. I should have done something nice for myself, something that would have helped me to grow and feel good. But, I chose to numb the feelings. Try to find something that brings you some happiness whether it's reading a good book, watching a movie, calling someone, exercising.

HariSeldon

i try and do stuff during the day that really tires me out ie walking, some sports etc so that in the evening i am ready for bed quite early. a movie or tv show and its goodnight from me

barb dwyer

Hi mimi -

two words.

night job.

IO Storm

Great idea..specially if you get "antsy" at nite..

barb dwyer

sorry - sorry

somebody made my day on another thread -
now I'm all giddy.
ok.
goofy.

*straightening up*

ok.
seriously.

I followed the suggestions in the BB and asked my HP to remove the feeling of wanting a drink. I told myself that what I was feeling, was only my body wanting to continue a habit.
Sometimes ... I had to do it over and over.

and do all the stuff Anna said.
While at my night job.
Which is where I am now.

Because, in the beginning, I wasn't in a place that I could draw, paint, craft, or do any of the things I did before I started drinking. I drank myself creatively bankrupt.

My sponsor told me once that when the feeling hit, I was to get up and do something anything different. Even if it was just to change chairs.

So I did.

karrotop

hi...nights were hard for me too in the beginning.....But,now,I look forward to the few hours in the day when i can relax and unwind....I have started cooking again,which takes up some time...and I journal every night,and i come here and read the new posts.....
i have been sober now for 12 weeks,and now i am beginning to feel like i need to add something to my life....quitting drinking is a great accomplishment,this i know,but now i need something more....something to feel passionate about...KT

lostmdboy

I had troubled with evenings too. At first I would do anything to keep my mind of drinking, and the obsesion. Hanging out with these good peop;e really helped a lot. The best thing I did though is scedule a few AA meetings, and began to meet w/ my sponcer in the evenings. Having some one to be accountable too is a big help to me. Good luck, and as time goes by you will look up one evening and relize the thought had not even crossed your mind.

Grateful Heart

I can relate to what you're saying Mimi. I've started reading more, something I had almost given up while drinking. I also enjoy watching movies, doing chores around the house I had been putting off for months and coming here to the SR website. Congrats on your sobriety!

Lbad

I think that one of the reasons that 12 step mtg's work is because they have lots of meetings. lol It gives you something to "DO". A sufficient substitute.... lol

There are a lot of other reasons they work as well but for me I just had to fill these small blocks of time around meetings. I read or went on the computer at night after I got home. I practiced meditation when I couldn't sleep. .... or I read the Big Book which was always a sure fire cure for insomnia. lol
Good Luck and God Bless in whatever path you choose.

ttfn
gtg
Bad

tyler

I too have difficulty in the evenings. Some of the things that have worked for me are, reading, not recovery related material, but something to "lose myself in". Watching movies. I play video games, very easy to lose yourself in those. BTW, I am 38 and still a "gamer"!! What I have been doing lately is just going to bed early. I am then able to get up around 5:30 or 6, get an early start to the day, get some things accomplished and feel good about it. Much better than drinking my night away, waking up late and hung over, and feeling guilty about it!! Take care.

newtosobriety

Evenings are particular hard for me. That was usually (90%) of the time that I drank. Thats when the real bad anxieties struck me my first 2-3 weeks of sobriety. I still have problems in the evenings partly due to sleep. It's becoming hard for me to relax and fall asleep lately. I don't know if its the PAWs (60 days) or that I stopped taking clonazapen a little over 10 days ago. Nevertheless, during my sobriety which now is 65 days nighttime the hardest time of the day for me.

nan07

I have been taking four mile long evening walks, watching movies and reading voraciously. Amazingly, the hours do go by rather quickly and then I can go to bed knowing I made it through another day. Nights are my big problem, too.

mimi54321

Thanks all. I need to get back to the gym and do something with my evenings. I totally feel like nothing interests me, I've lost my (if I ever had it) zest for life. I've almost forgotten what 'normal' people do. I find everything boring. - when its me that's boring.

OMG. I came off Clonazapan about 6 months ago when I was in rehab. It was scary and I couldn't sleep at all.. I'd been on an increasing dose for 4 years and in rehab they stopped me immediately. I felt so ill and out of it and then found out that it is like coming off heroin.

So I totally sympathise with that.

M x