Ahhhh!!
Who can I trust?
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Hillsdale NJ
Posts: 43
Ahhhh!!
I had a nice hour long discussion on my part and a screaming match on my parents' part about my meeting with my recruiter on Monday and the possible 100% ship out date being August 27th. Apperently my step pops and mom are highly against my decision and are completely appauled by MY choice to enlist and take the road that I am taking. My mom says that I will become one of two possible people when all said and done. The one is a 25 yr old with no legs and I'll be a complete alcoholic and at the bar 24/7 or a robot with no feelings and I will not be the perosn that she has known for the past 21 years. She said she is completely fine with the idea of my throwing the past 3 years of schooling out the window since I will no be able to do what I want right after I finish school.
Then My step pops starts. Well you know your saving up to do all this work to the Trans Am yet you know once you leave boot camp and the ball finally gets rolling I will come back and I will not be able to drive the car because I will either be dead or have no legs or I'll be missing half of some limb. Then he went on to saying that I am completely irresponsible for doing this and not letting them know the 6 mnths prior while I was researching it and talking to my recruiter.
My mom starts again, screaming not looking at me saying that I should just settle with the dig holes putting up fences for the next 6 yrs and wait for my 17 points to go away and then see what happens. Very nice huh? Then she went on saying that when my grandmother finds out and has a heart attack and dies it will be completely my fault and that she will never forgive me for it. And that it will destory HER family and that she wishes she could be behind her children with all their decisions but she is not backing me up on this and that she will never talk to me again. Then she stopped talking and hasnt talked to me in the past 3 hours.
So right now Im in a horrible mood and it seems my parents hate me and every bad thing that happens to my family form this point on is my fault.
Then My step pops starts. Well you know your saving up to do all this work to the Trans Am yet you know once you leave boot camp and the ball finally gets rolling I will come back and I will not be able to drive the car because I will either be dead or have no legs or I'll be missing half of some limb. Then he went on to saying that I am completely irresponsible for doing this and not letting them know the 6 mnths prior while I was researching it and talking to my recruiter.
My mom starts again, screaming not looking at me saying that I should just settle with the dig holes putting up fences for the next 6 yrs and wait for my 17 points to go away and then see what happens. Very nice huh? Then she went on saying that when my grandmother finds out and has a heart attack and dies it will be completely my fault and that she will never forgive me for it. And that it will destory HER family and that she wishes she could be behind her children with all their decisions but she is not backing me up on this and that she will never talk to me again. Then she stopped talking and hasnt talked to me in the past 3 hours.
So right now Im in a horrible mood and it seems my parents hate me and every bad thing that happens to my family form this point on is my fault.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
((((Tim))))
All I hear is fear from them. Fear that you will get hurt or worse. And possibly the thought that they couldn't step up and lay their life on the line in the way that you are prepared to do. Fear makes people act irrationally sometimes.
Look beyond the words, hon. Say to them that you know they are scared but that you will do everyting you can to stay safe whilst doing something that you believe in.
Go give them all a hug.
All I hear is fear from them. Fear that you will get hurt or worse. And possibly the thought that they couldn't step up and lay their life on the line in the way that you are prepared to do. Fear makes people act irrationally sometimes.
Look beyond the words, hon. Say to them that you know they are scared but that you will do everyting you can to stay safe whilst doing something that you believe in.
Go give them all a hug.
Fighting for happiness
Join Date: May 2007
Location: between a rock and a hard place
Posts: 32
Frist of all thank you for even talking to a recuiter ....
it is your choice and your life i come from a famliy on my dads side i am looked down on for not severing so i am in a diff world
only you can controll your drinking and do the right thing
go luck and thank you for protecting this country
it is your choice and your life i come from a famliy on my dads side i am looked down on for not severing so i am in a diff world
only you can controll your drinking and do the right thing
go luck and thank you for protecting this country
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Not a good way to convince someone to stay out of the service.
If my parents did that, I would go in all the faster.
There are real dangers of going in but there are also real learning experiences as well.
You don't need be one of the group that goes off drinking at every chance they get either. There are many in the service who don't drink and all branches are starting to enforce drinking rules.
I would never tell you don't go. I didn't tell my sons don't go and one is in the Navy at this very moment.
I was/Am proud of them both for researching things and making their own choices. I would have encouraged them both to take a MOS other then foot soldier if they wanted such but the choice would still have been their choice.
Get it in writing. Get a gaurantee for training and I suggest go for a trade so you can use it when you get out.
If my parents did that, I would go in all the faster.
There are real dangers of going in but there are also real learning experiences as well.
You don't need be one of the group that goes off drinking at every chance they get either. There are many in the service who don't drink and all branches are starting to enforce drinking rules.
I would never tell you don't go. I didn't tell my sons don't go and one is in the Navy at this very moment.
I was/Am proud of them both for researching things and making their own choices. I would have encouraged them both to take a MOS other then foot soldier if they wanted such but the choice would still have been their choice.
Get it in writing. Get a gaurantee for training and I suggest go for a trade so you can use it when you get out.
Becoming a Butterfly
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 904
Tim tim tim tim tim tim ..... 
You have three years of college under your belt? Hon, why don't you just finish school? You don't need to defend or even explain if you don't want to, but as a mom myself that popped out at me. You're soooooooooooo close .... why stop now?
You have three years of college under your belt? Hon, why don't you just finish school? You don't need to defend or even explain if you don't want to, but as a mom myself that popped out at me. You're soooooooooooo close .... why stop now?
Who can I trust?
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Hillsdale NJ
Posts: 43
Originally Posted by WantsOut 
Tim tim tim tim tim tim .....
You have three years of college under your belt? Hon, why don't you just finish school? You don't need to defend or even explain if you don't want to, but as a mom myself that popped out at me. You're soooooooooooo close .... why stop now?
You have three years of college under your belt? Hon, why don't you just finish school? You don't need to defend or even explain if you don't want to, but as a mom myself that popped out at me. You're soooooooooooo close .... why stop now?
Yea, I have three years at a two year school. I am 21 years old and I want to finish, I only have one semester left. Its an Asc. in Criminal Justice but because I used to take out my frustraitions while I was driving I got myself a total of 20 licence points and 4 mnths of no licence. So from there I went to a large number of police departments and talked to the hiring staff. Every single one said that they would just throw my oppertunity of becoming a police officer right out the window UNLESS I have a military background.
A bunch of my friends are Marines already and some of which are over in Iraq at the moment.
I really want to do this but when mom says that she wont back me and will not repsect me if I decide to do it hurts extemely. I understand that she is scared but you know what?! I can't be her baby all of MY life. If I was able to be I would of been moved out alrready but for the $350 paycheck I make a week at the moment I cant afford it. I can't even afford my own car insurance since I have 17 points.
She kept saying that I already have changed and that she doesnt liek the person that I am anymore.
Wants out.... Swithc places with my mom. lol
Becoming a Butterfly
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 904
She says she won't respect you, huh? That is a crappy thing to say. Some people don't understand that words hurt.
I don't know much about policing but I do know that the NYPD is ALWAYS looking for people. Maybe the license thing wouldn't be a big deal to them. Just a thought. Another thought is a career with Pinkerton's or another investigative firm. Are you good at math? A fun career for detective like people can be financial investigation. A buddy of mine does this at a major bank - looks for scams and uncovers them.
Well, no matter what you decide to do it sounds to me like you are ready to move on from home and it's time. You are not a child and no matter how much it may upset her, you need to live your life. She says some stuff in anger it seems - it's good to have space between you and that kind of attitude. She may change too as she misses you over time.
Just some thoughts.
I don't know much about policing but I do know that the NYPD is ALWAYS looking for people. Maybe the license thing wouldn't be a big deal to them. Just a thought. Another thought is a career with Pinkerton's or another investigative firm. Are you good at math? A fun career for detective like people can be financial investigation. A buddy of mine does this at a major bank - looks for scams and uncovers them.
Well, no matter what you decide to do it sounds to me like you are ready to move on from home and it's time. You are not a child and no matter how much it may upset her, you need to live your life. She says some stuff in anger it seems - it's good to have space between you and that kind of attitude. She may change too as she misses you over time.
Just some thoughts.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Originally Posted by TimTim
I want to finish, I only have one semester left. Its an Asc. in Criminal Justice
What I found out through my son and a cousin... If you have a degree and go into the service, you gain stripes right away. More stripes...more pay, better living arrangements.
If you could finish school first and then go into the Marines...Wow.
Your pay would about dble.
You would qualify for more jobs as well.
my son was told he could take courses while in the Marines and get a degree but the work hours didn't line up so well for doing both his military job and doing the studying.
Something to think on ....
Who can I trust?
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Hillsdale NJ
Posts: 43
Yea, that what is going to be discussed at the meeting on Monday. Right now I have enough credits to come out as a PFC. I wanna see if finishing up school could make me come out as a LC.
Thanks wantsOut, I agree with you that it was a crappy thing fore her to say, but I do understand why shes saaying what she is saying.
I'm great at algebra but the rest of the math world is not my stronghold. The onyl class that I do absolutely well in are my CRJ classes. I either get As or Bs int hem and the other classes I get Cs in. I tried explaineing to her that when I wen tthru the processes at Fort Hamilton that there were 17 guys going out to enlist in the Marines that weekend and only 5 of us made it, I was one of those 5.
Idk, but in the end I'm gunna do what I feel I need to do but I just hope it doesn't destroy my family.
Thanks wantsOut, I agree with you that it was a crappy thing fore her to say, but I do understand why shes saaying what she is saying.
I'm great at algebra but the rest of the math world is not my stronghold. The onyl class that I do absolutely well in are my CRJ classes. I either get As or Bs int hem and the other classes I get Cs in. I tried explaineing to her that when I wen tthru the processes at Fort Hamilton that there were 17 guys going out to enlist in the Marines that weekend and only 5 of us made it, I was one of those 5.
Idk, but in the end I'm gunna do what I feel I need to do but I just hope it doesn't destroy my family.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
Posts: 1,786
If I were your mother, I would not be happy with you. Here's why. This is a major life choice which I would have appreciated some conversation about. I think with three years of college under your belt and one semester to go, you should finish your degree and serve as an officer. We should do the most with what we have. I'm sure your parents are scared to death for your well being. I would have advised you to talk to returning soldiers to get their input. Recruiters are paid to get you to enlist, they take advantage. I say this from experience with my own sons.
There is nothing wrong with going into the military, it seems like an impulsive choice based on quitting college. I would not have conveyed this to you as bluntly as your parents have but many people are not willing to spend their sons on this campaign. You only have one semester left and shame on the recruiter for not encouraging you to finish first. I'm very sorry you don't have better guidance. This post may not make me popular but I speak as if one of my own sons came home and told me he had made this decision.
There is nothing wrong with going into the military, it seems like an impulsive choice based on quitting college. I would not have conveyed this to you as bluntly as your parents have but many people are not willing to spend their sons on this campaign. You only have one semester left and shame on the recruiter for not encouraging you to finish first. I'm very sorry you don't have better guidance. This post may not make me popular but I speak as if one of my own sons came home and told me he had made this decision.
Who can I trust?
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Hillsdale NJ
Posts: 43
I agree with both of you. Its not my recruiter saying that I might not beable to postbone my ship date. He was telling me on the phone that his bosses are going to push for me to leave in Aug. My buddy who comes back next week from boot camp almost spent a whole year in D.E.P. All he kept doing was signing papers and delaying his ship date. He wwas not going to school or realy work at that fact. So I figure that I'll go monday do all my physical assesments that I need to do then file for delaying my ship date so I may finish up my last semester.
With sdaying that to my mother she was like "yeah ok" I hope your ready to leave on Monday because your going there and next thing you know your gunna be on a bus. So as of right now she thinks I'm leaving Monday and that my recruiter is only out to screw me over. Ok, last I checked I'm the one that went to him, I'm the one that went and ogt all the paper work that I needed to start this process. Not him.
With sdaying that to my mother she was like "yeah ok" I hope your ready to leave on Monday because your going there and next thing you know your gunna be on a bus. So as of right now she thinks I'm leaving Monday and that my recruiter is only out to screw me over. Ok, last I checked I'm the one that went to him, I'm the one that went and ogt all the paper work that I needed to start this process. Not him.
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