angie9

Im rambling only coz Im fustrated more so with myself that Ive done dam well going eight weeks without wine so why do I still get the urges they make me so dam tired and scared and missing drinking wine :0(. Its winter here the fires going dh is asleep kids are watching telly and Im twitchy :0( no Im not going down to buy wine but Im so sad that my dam brain is still having those thoughts and if Im going to have those "thoughts" for the rest of my life its terrfiying me!!!! :0(. Maybe Im having a "bad day" I dont know as I said Im rambling feel if I got a feeling like what I have now its safer to post and vent here thankyou for letting me
Ang

Jules62

Hey ang,

Saturday night here too and it's freezing-and I'm feeling a lot like you.

It means something-not nothing.

I have to go out tonight and I'm dreading it.They'll be alcohol.I'm tempted not to go.

I'm 3 weeks sober and feeling crappy, not good, about it.I'm trying to hang in there too.I'd really rather go to bed, curl up with a good book and sleep.

Anyway-I don't know if any of this helps-just wanted to support you somehow and let you know you're not alone.

Love,

Rosexox

angie9

thanks Rose I think Im just having a "sh*t*y day!! or maybe I need a good kick up the bum *sigh* Dont envy you going out tonight its freezing brrrrrrrr!!! Im off to have a bath with miss 18 month old then a nice hot milk ( my milk intake has skyrocketed since Ive stopped drinking. Ill pick myslef up Im sure,
Ill be thinking of you when you go out with the tempation of drink around you its a pain in the bum when you see "happy" people drinking and you know that you cant drink coz you cant control it *sniff * take care
Ang

2ala2

It means a great deal. To me, it means you need an AA meeting. Go to one. You will find an answer to all your ?s. Eight weeks is a miracle. It would be shame to lose them. Good Luck....

angie9

Thanks 2ala2 i did last year go to two meetings but I didnt feel comfortable prehaps back then I was refusing to be honest?? anyhow Ive come through another evening and yes Im happier sober just every now and then get the horrible feelings
take care Ang

Dee74

Kick up the bum as ordered, Ang !


we just have to try and remember...
firstly it is only 8 weeks ! They tell me it takes a while for the grey matter to be re-educated

second, try and remember all the good things about the last 8 weeks, and all the bad things that drove us here in the first place...

third, remember that drinkers don't have a monopoly on 'happy' !

and lastly - we're all here for each other!

KEEP UP THE GOOD FIGHT !


hugs
D

angie9

aww thanks Dee loved ya post :0)
had some hot milk feeling a bit better , I have some "pocket money" that Ive put aside now that I dont drink and looking at our local online auction at nice stuff perfume etc, Ive joined ebay too but Im too wimpy to buy overseas. Im sure its a passing feeling I have just fustrates me at the moment
take care Ang

indigo

Congratulations on your 8 weeks, it just gets better with each new day.

indigo

angie9

thanks indigo I am having a poor me moment Im sure. Ill get up dust off the pity , look at myself in the mirror at my clear skin clear eyes and Im losing weight too and know that alcohol IS NOT THE ANSWER and that Im not like some people that can have one or two glasses I have to have one or two bottles!!
thanks Ang

Pilgrim

Hi fellow kiwis. You think it's cold up there??? It's way colder down here in Wellington. Hey Rose - have fun and leave early is the advice my temp sponsor gives me. he just left to spend winter in Brisbane. Lucky guy. Maybe he could pop in and visit Dee.

I looked up the meetings schedule up there in Auckland for AA. There seem to be lots more than here. For the most part I enjoy the meetings. I am looking around for new ones at the moment and tomorrow I am going to the Kenepuru detox one. Apprently there was a new girl there last week and no women. Then tomorrow night I have a Sunday night BB study meeting. I find that if I go to the right meetings, it helps.

I had quite a good day today with cravings. Phew. This last week was worse than ever. I hope the twitchies stop annoying you soon Angie. I am in your corner.

Happy shopping!!

cyberwolf

Hi Angie,

Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you, and those cravings are awful. Kind of had a few myself over the last few days. Well done on 8 weeks. Ebay is quite addictive!! Have bought a fair bit myself and I have bought and oldstuff overseas I have been lucky and not had any probs......always bought from companies rather than individuals when overseas though...

Anyway hope you feel better soon


Hugs
CW

Ps yeah great post Dee!!!!! Made me smile thanks

angie9

Thanks Pilgrim and cyberwolf,
Pilgrim bet it is cold in Wellington and its snowing Gisborne way too brrrrrr. Yup lurking here and at trademe which can be lethal tho since Ive stopped drinking no more stupid purchases (cringing with embaressment here at some of the rubbish I bought and that I couldnt remember buying *sigh* ) And cyberwold love your wolves I reaken they are one of the most beautiful animals on earth Im a animal lover and what Im doing now that Im sober is spoiling my human kids and fids ( feathered and fured children) as well. I have cheered up more now love this place and pilgrim I have gone to a couple of AA meetings but Im not a socialble person and get very nervous in groups tho I am actually going to a self esteem class to try to help myself.
take care
ang

Pilgrim

Hehe. Im not sociable either. I was having a huge laugh with Stone about it last night. Nearly fell off my chair and I couldn't breathe. I never understood why people would want to talk on the phone. I am confused when people want to stand around and talk at the end of meetings. The sentence, "there is informal sharing and tea and coffee afterwards" is like Swahili to me. I mean....what????

I am not much one for shopping either. I'm the practical type. Get in, do the biz, get out.

We are all wired differently but I am yet to meet an AAer who likes socialising and finds it easy. I am also painfully shy. Most of us are.

Here's a hug (((((((((((((((Angie)))))))))))))

Dee74

what, he came to spend the winter in Brisbane to avoid the cold ?
he he



D

oh OK...it's not ACTUALLY snowing !

CarolD

(((Ang)))

Are you aware of this?

http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm

And No! you will not always have this
sruggle. Your brain is healing right now.

Blessings to you and yours

AcceptingChange

hi ang,
i can relate to your cravings soo well.
i fear that monster, cause it still has some control over me.
and i won't believe any ideas my brain creates to justify
why i should have a drink.
your brain is working overtime to come up with a way to
get you to drink the poison.
don't listen!
Our brains are not organs of rationality,
but organs of rationalization.

And like you know, you aren't getting rid of any pain.
At best, you're avoiding it, deferring it, until later.
You will have pain, guaranteed. Either now, or later.
that's the ugly truth. We have to deal with our pain.
I'm thinking the craving pain is less-painfilled than the
hangover-sickness-regret pain.

Sending (((hugs))) your way.

angie9

thankyou all very very much I really appriciate your kind words and encouragement.
Ang