Friends, my son could use your prayers...
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
Friends, my son could use your prayers...
It's a long story. He trying so hard to live normally.
How can you live normal when you live with an alcoholic?
He stopped drinking. He's trying to work, when his boss has work for him to do.
His dad continues to drink and Jason continues to smoke weed.
He says that if he didn't smoke pot he would go crazy. He says he needs to be on medication. I told him last night in an hour long conversation to go to a doctor or hospital and admit himself to the psychiatric ward for observation. He says he's losing his mind living with his dad.
Ya'll have no idea how these people live in the boonies. It's disgusting, really.
When I visit, I stay outside.
My son moved there because I made him leave my home. He was drinking too much and blew off his job, so I kicked him out. He refused rehab, so I took him to his dads. He's been there almost 8 months. Now he says that he's losing his mind. He says that his mind races, he has thoughts of suicide/hurting others, and he claims that the only time he feels right is when he's with this woman that he's been seeing.
She's 36/he's 25. She seems to be a good influence on him, really. He seemed to really be maturing lately. Then last night we talked for an hour. My phone lost service. I call him back and he answers the phone like he wasn't just talking to me for a whole hour. I told him, "Jay, we have been on this phone for an hour."
He said, "mom, I don't know what your talking about. You just called me. I'm on the other line with Amy" (exagf from Pa.). This really scared me. Then he, out of the clear blue sky yells, "get away from me". WTF? I ask him if he is using something.
He swears he just smokes pot. Pot cannot make you act this way, can it?
He was yelling, at no one. I don't get it. Is he trying to make me think he's crazy? Is he trying to make me think I'm crazy? Could he be having a breakdown? He says he feels like it. I thought crazy people didn't know they were crazy. He swears that being with this woman, he doesn't ever want to drink or use heavy drugs again. I don't get it. I know I'm powerless over this, but isn't there something I could do for him? When it was drugs, he had something to "fight" against. How can he beat this if it's psychological? Can years of drug abuse do this to someone? His gf is also bi-polar. Yep! No wonder he's comfortable with her. Maybe he's just like her. He's never been diagnosed. Why can't he just go and get a medical opinion?
I can't seem to let this go. I can detach from drug abuse, but mental instability?
What would you do? Please pray for my son's sanity. I don't want to be dragged back into his drama, but this seems different. I don't know...
Thanks for reading.
How can you live normal when you live with an alcoholic?
He stopped drinking. He's trying to work, when his boss has work for him to do.
His dad continues to drink and Jason continues to smoke weed.
He says that if he didn't smoke pot he would go crazy. He says he needs to be on medication. I told him last night in an hour long conversation to go to a doctor or hospital and admit himself to the psychiatric ward for observation. He says he's losing his mind living with his dad.
Ya'll have no idea how these people live in the boonies. It's disgusting, really.
When I visit, I stay outside.
My son moved there because I made him leave my home. He was drinking too much and blew off his job, so I kicked him out. He refused rehab, so I took him to his dads. He's been there almost 8 months. Now he says that he's losing his mind. He says that his mind races, he has thoughts of suicide/hurting others, and he claims that the only time he feels right is when he's with this woman that he's been seeing.
She's 36/he's 25. She seems to be a good influence on him, really. He seemed to really be maturing lately. Then last night we talked for an hour. My phone lost service. I call him back and he answers the phone like he wasn't just talking to me for a whole hour. I told him, "Jay, we have been on this phone for an hour."
He said, "mom, I don't know what your talking about. You just called me. I'm on the other line with Amy" (exagf from Pa.). This really scared me. Then he, out of the clear blue sky yells, "get away from me". WTF? I ask him if he is using something.
He swears he just smokes pot. Pot cannot make you act this way, can it?
He was yelling, at no one. I don't get it. Is he trying to make me think he's crazy? Is he trying to make me think I'm crazy? Could he be having a breakdown? He says he feels like it. I thought crazy people didn't know they were crazy. He swears that being with this woman, he doesn't ever want to drink or use heavy drugs again. I don't get it. I know I'm powerless over this, but isn't there something I could do for him? When it was drugs, he had something to "fight" against. How can he beat this if it's psychological? Can years of drug abuse do this to someone? His gf is also bi-polar. Yep! No wonder he's comfortable with her. Maybe he's just like her. He's never been diagnosed. Why can't he just go and get a medical opinion?
I can't seem to let this go. I can detach from drug abuse, but mental instability?
What would you do? Please pray for my son's sanity. I don't want to be dragged back into his drama, but this seems different. I don't know...
Thanks for reading.
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
((((((Linda))))))
I can feel the pain through your post, hon. All I can add is prayers...I don't know...is it his mental health, is it drugs? Tough to say, but in either case you are powerless. I know my daughter who never used to lie about anything, said she wasn't using when her dad took a bag right out of her pocket. Manipulation or denial or a little of both I guess.
What you are describing when he acted like he never spoke to you and heard voices sounds more psychotic...I'm no doctor but I have never experienced someone expereincing psychotic episodes who could turn it on and off...function part of the day and not function other times. Maybe it's so; I just don't know.
I would be scared and concerned too...Moms are like that; these are our kids. I have no advice just lots of mom to mom hugs. I think this one may play out quickly and you will know when or if you need to do anything. I will be praying for you both.
I can feel the pain through your post, hon. All I can add is prayers...I don't know...is it his mental health, is it drugs? Tough to say, but in either case you are powerless. I know my daughter who never used to lie about anything, said she wasn't using when her dad took a bag right out of her pocket. Manipulation or denial or a little of both I guess.
What you are describing when he acted like he never spoke to you and heard voices sounds more psychotic...I'm no doctor but I have never experienced someone expereincing psychotic episodes who could turn it on and off...function part of the day and not function other times. Maybe it's so; I just don't know.
I would be scared and concerned too...Moms are like that; these are our kids. I have no advice just lots of mom to mom hugs. I think this one may play out quickly and you will know when or if you need to do anything. I will be praying for you both.
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Books,
I can hear your struggling.
I think what we both need to do, is back off and just let it be. Your son and my sons H.P. is looking out for them.
I think in your sons case it's a good thing his dad is driving him crazy, perhaps he'll decide to save up, and MOVE out! Never say never.
My oldest is now living in a motel, because he can't pass a background check to room with a friend of his. He said if you have a felony you can't live there, and he has more than one.
I know how your heart is hearting, but there are reasons for their struggling, somewhere, somehow, there's a reason....
Big hugs from one mom to another....
I can hear your struggling.
I think what we both need to do, is back off and just let it be. Your son and my sons H.P. is looking out for them.
I think in your sons case it's a good thing his dad is driving him crazy, perhaps he'll decide to save up, and MOVE out! Never say never.
My oldest is now living in a motel, because he can't pass a background check to room with a friend of his. He said if you have a felony you can't live there, and he has more than one.
I know how your heart is hearting, but there are reasons for their struggling, somewhere, somehow, there's a reason....
Big hugs from one mom to another....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Linda, Marijuana today is not like the marijuana that we grew up on. My husband used to smoke pot when we first met and he gave that up when he became a "family man". A few years ago a friend of his gave him a joint and he just took a couple of tokes off it. He threw the sh*t away because he said there was something more than marijuana there. I know that heavy use can make a person paranoid. If you are really concerned you could call the community mental health place in your area. They do have workers that will go out and evaluate him if you think he is a danger. Other than that, there really is not too much that you can do. Sending you hugs and prayers. Marle
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Posts: 1,991
((((Book))))
Just a thought...
Is it possible he was high and scrambling the conversation a bit? I know how hard it is to keep a conversation going in the same direction with someone who is either high or drunk or both.
Maybe he meant he had just answered the phone (this call), maybe there was an insect buzzing around?
I know that sounds way too simple but I hope and pray there's a reasonable explaination.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers
((((Hugs))))
Cece
Just a thought...
Is it possible he was high and scrambling the conversation a bit? I know how hard it is to keep a conversation going in the same direction with someone who is either high or drunk or both.
Maybe he meant he had just answered the phone (this call), maybe there was an insect buzzing around?
I know that sounds way too simple but I hope and pray there's a reasonable explaination.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers
((((Hugs))))
Cece
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
Thank you all so much for your prayers and support.
I can't talk to my husband. He just doesn't understand.
I can't see the forest for the trees maybe. I don't know.
When do you know if it's manipulation? He doesn't seem to want
anything from me. Nothing. He was talking about buying an old van from his dad's brother for 200.00, ripping the seats and everything out of it and living in it, just to get away from the idiots in the house. (his words)
His grandmother is there. He claims she's in a cult because she is Johovah's Witness.
Then when his dad drinks he wants to fight and argue with as and he preaches the JW religion too. I'm not real familiar with that religion, so...
I know my son doesn't believe in much of anything. He says he only feels comfortable with his gf or me. I know he hates to work around others. He will wash dishes or do construction, because he says people leave him alone to do his work.
He has always had trouble with authority figures.
I've just never experienced him being this way. Not even when he was into heroin.
I know the pot is not the same now. I even asked him where he is getting it.
He says that pot has nothing to do with the way he's feeling lately.
One minute he seemed very coherent, and the next he was just weird.
If that boy had started barking, I swear I would have gotten into my car and went to him, tied him up and driven him to the er myself.
His gm's phone is only "free" after 9 pm. So we don't talk during the weekdays.
He said he was going to work today. (payday) I guess I'll call him from my work tonight. I just don't get it. If he wants me to think he's crazy, what would be the purpose? He says he doesn't want to live with us because of all the temptations in the complex we live in. I told him he just needed determination and willpower.
That if he wanted to stay with me, he could. He says he doesn't want to leave the gf. He doesn't drive, so he knows I won't cart him back and forth.
What could he be doing that would cause this kind of paranoia? If it's pot...
I just don't know. "God, give me the strength to get through this with him. Give him the strength to fight his inner demons."
Thanks for reading and again for the love and support. I don't know what I'd do without you all here to talk to. I've gotta get ready for work. I'll check back in around midnight.
With love,
Linda
I can't talk to my husband. He just doesn't understand.
I can't see the forest for the trees maybe. I don't know.
When do you know if it's manipulation? He doesn't seem to want
anything from me. Nothing. He was talking about buying an old van from his dad's brother for 200.00, ripping the seats and everything out of it and living in it, just to get away from the idiots in the house. (his words)
His grandmother is there. He claims she's in a cult because she is Johovah's Witness.
Then when his dad drinks he wants to fight and argue with as and he preaches the JW religion too. I'm not real familiar with that religion, so...
I know my son doesn't believe in much of anything. He says he only feels comfortable with his gf or me. I know he hates to work around others. He will wash dishes or do construction, because he says people leave him alone to do his work.
He has always had trouble with authority figures.
I've just never experienced him being this way. Not even when he was into heroin.
I know the pot is not the same now. I even asked him where he is getting it.
He says that pot has nothing to do with the way he's feeling lately.
One minute he seemed very coherent, and the next he was just weird.
If that boy had started barking, I swear I would have gotten into my car and went to him, tied him up and driven him to the er myself.
His gm's phone is only "free" after 9 pm. So we don't talk during the weekdays.
He said he was going to work today. (payday) I guess I'll call him from my work tonight. I just don't get it. If he wants me to think he's crazy, what would be the purpose? He says he doesn't want to live with us because of all the temptations in the complex we live in. I told him he just needed determination and willpower.
That if he wanted to stay with me, he could. He says he doesn't want to leave the gf. He doesn't drive, so he knows I won't cart him back and forth.
What could he be doing that would cause this kind of paranoia? If it's pot...
I just don't know. "God, give me the strength to get through this with him. Give him the strength to fight his inner demons."
Thanks for reading and again for the love and support. I don't know what I'd do without you all here to talk to. I've gotta get ready for work. I'll check back in around midnight.
With love,
Linda
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
CeCe,
I asked him where everyone was. He said gm is watching tv in her room.
Dad is passed out in his room. Darren (some idiot that lives there too) is on the computer and listening to the "chicken dance" song. What?
He was outside. I said where is your dad's dog. He said in the house asleep with dad. He was waiting for his gf to pick him up after she left the grocery store where she works. That's another thing. This woman is 36, with 2 girls, ages 11 and 13.
She left her husband of 17 years because he didn't understand her. Left her girls with their dad. She sees them every few days, and my son is not going to meet them until she's divorced. Her hubby filed for divorce already.
She is on meds for bi-polar, depression, and what the he!! else, I have no clue.
I asked him if he was taking her meds. He said no, mom. I wouldn't do that. She needs her medicine. She can barely afford it now. I don't want her medicine.
That sh*t won't do anything for me anyway.
I told you I was done with the dope. Why can't you believe me?
Why do you think, Jay? Duh!
I asked him where everyone was. He said gm is watching tv in her room.
Dad is passed out in his room. Darren (some idiot that lives there too) is on the computer and listening to the "chicken dance" song. What?
He was outside. I said where is your dad's dog. He said in the house asleep with dad. He was waiting for his gf to pick him up after she left the grocery store where she works. That's another thing. This woman is 36, with 2 girls, ages 11 and 13.
She left her husband of 17 years because he didn't understand her. Left her girls with their dad. She sees them every few days, and my son is not going to meet them until she's divorced. Her hubby filed for divorce already.
She is on meds for bi-polar, depression, and what the he!! else, I have no clue.
I asked him if he was taking her meds. He said no, mom. I wouldn't do that. She needs her medicine. She can barely afford it now. I don't want her medicine.
That sh*t won't do anything for me anyway.
I told you I was done with the dope. Why can't you believe me?
Why do you think, Jay? Duh!
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
Maybe I should call the goofy gf? Maybe I should just stay out of the d*mn way. lol
I know I have to go to work, and sure don't feel up to it.
It's my livelihood, though. If I didn't have my work, I'd be locked up in a mental ward. lol
I love you all and am so grateful for this place.
I'll talk to ya'll tomorrow.
Love,
Linda
I know I have to go to work, and sure don't feel up to it.
It's my livelihood, though. If I didn't have my work, I'd be locked up in a mental ward. lol
I love you all and am so grateful for this place.
I'll talk to ya'll tomorrow.
Love,
Linda
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Linda, I remember last spring taking a walk with my daughter and her giving me this big talk about how she will never do drugs again because it costs too much, all you do is spend time waiting to use and then being high, how it causes her to want to stay away from me, etc. She sounded so sincere and I went home so happy, thinking that she finally has gotten it. She was using. Then at Christmas time she came over and told me that she was done, on suboxone and everyone was telling her how much better she looked. When I saw her in March, she confessed that she lied, lied and lied some more. When I asked her why, she said, duh, mom I didn't want you to think less of me. Your son has a fragile relationship with you right now and maybe he is afraid to tell you that he is using something because he knows that will be the end of it for you. I don't know. Just a thought. I am sure if you can be patient, more will be revealed. I just know everytime I try to figure out my daughter, it always comes back to one thing. Hugs, Marle
Just plainly tired
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: crossroads
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bookmiser, I am so sorry. I know that when some people smoke weed that they may get paranoid. I dont know how much he is smoking or if its even making act like that.
I hope he gets better real soon.
Hugs,
jewel
I hope he gets better real soon.
Hugs,
jewel
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Book,
I think your husband understands, there are three people living in your house, day in and day out, one husband, one wife, and your son (who I understand is not there physically, but mentally)...a grown man who you cannot let go of...one who you cannot allow to be responsible for himself and his actions. Your son is your priorty, your husband is not, yes Book, he understands.
With that said, it could be the pot, or it could be all a game, I really don't know.
I pray for your son and that you will find the answer to all of your issues.
All said with love,
Dolly
I think your husband understands, there are three people living in your house, day in and day out, one husband, one wife, and your son (who I understand is not there physically, but mentally)...a grown man who you cannot let go of...one who you cannot allow to be responsible for himself and his actions. Your son is your priorty, your husband is not, yes Book, he understands.
With that said, it could be the pot, or it could be all a game, I really don't know.
I pray for your son and that you will find the answer to all of your issues.
All said with love,
Dolly
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