i feel like leaving
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Canada
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i feel like leaving
i can't trust him, i think he is always lying to me, because he has done it so well before. It is to the point i feel like leaving because I can't handle being with my husband the alcoholic, i'm afraid theses feeling will never go away and i'm so tired of living with this worry. What i'm I to do? How can I magiclly make theses feeling go away.
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 84
i don't even know if i can live with the sober husband because i'm so afraid of being f@@@ed over by him. How can you tell that i'm so messed up and just plain old pissed off right now, becuase i think he is out drinking while out of town on business.
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 84
Originally Posted by splendra 
((((redbear))))
I hear ya. Do what feels right to you. These feeling might magically go away when he walks thru the door and they might not. Take good care of you my dear!!!
I hear ya. Do what feels right to you. These feeling might magically go away when he walks thru the door and they might not. Take good care of you my dear!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 84
i am in Alanon. i'm just a beginer, it has been three weeks for me and it is a struggle to walk through the door knowing everyone is going to turn and look at you knowing your secert already....i have been hiding theses secerts for so long...it is hard to let go of them
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Welcome Red Bear! (((Hugs))))
Read the stickies at the top of the forum and keep posting-
You are not alone in what you are feeling alot of people have been where you are-you have come to a great place!
Al-Anon can be a struggle at first I know when I first went I sat in the parking lot and watched everyone go in! You may need to go to 10 different ones before you feel comfortable! Only you will know that! It took me close to 8 meetings at different places till I found the right place!
As for secrets there no secrets in Al-Anon what is in that room stays in that room! It is a wonderful outlet if we are willing to allow it to be!
I remember feeling what you are feeling and thinking that it would never go away but they do and they will with a bit of work and love to the most important person you!
Do some reading of the stickies it is a great way to start!
(((HUGS)))))
Read the stickies at the top of the forum and keep posting-
You are not alone in what you are feeling alot of people have been where you are-you have come to a great place!
Al-Anon can be a struggle at first I know when I first went I sat in the parking lot and watched everyone go in! You may need to go to 10 different ones before you feel comfortable! Only you will know that! It took me close to 8 meetings at different places till I found the right place!
As for secrets there no secrets in Al-Anon what is in that room stays in that room! It is a wonderful outlet if we are willing to allow it to be!
I remember feeling what you are feeling and thinking that it would never go away but they do and they will with a bit of work and love to the most important person you!
Do some reading of the stickies it is a great way to start!
(((HUGS)))))
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
(((((((redbear)))))))
please click on my name and read my first post i ever made here.....it's about al-anon.
love to you, redbear.....you are not alone in this....and you never have to be alone in this journey again. you have all of us. and all of us have either gone through it, living with it, or trying to make sense of it all.
imo.....there really are no secrets when it comes to alcoholism and the effects.....i always thought i was so good at hiding the secrets, but hells fire.....everyone knew!
how could they have not known???? the look on my face alone was the perfect poster picture the spouse of an alcoholic.
love to you
jeri
please click on my name and read my first post i ever made here.....it's about al-anon.
love to you, redbear.....you are not alone in this....and you never have to be alone in this journey again. you have all of us. and all of us have either gone through it, living with it, or trying to make sense of it all.
imo.....there really are no secrets when it comes to alcoholism and the effects.....i always thought i was so good at hiding the secrets, but hells fire.....everyone knew!
how could they have not known???? the look on my face alone was the perfect poster picture the spouse of an alcoholic.
love to you
jeri
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Hi redbear - I made the decision to let go while AH was also out of town, drinking, so I understand where you're coming from. Those times apart became very stressful for that reason - worrying about the drinking.
I would suggestion continuing with Al-Anon. I spent the first few months just absorbing. When I worry that others there "know" my secrets (which for me was really my shame), I remind myself they have their secrets, too. Releasing the secrets/shame has changed my life.
One thing that really helped me was deciding not to make any major changes in my life for a year. That doesn't mean change didn't happen, but I took the burden off myself of whether to stay or go, etc.
Keep posting - it helps to see it put in writing.
((()))
I would suggestion continuing with Al-Anon. I spent the first few months just absorbing. When I worry that others there "know" my secrets (which for me was really my shame), I remind myself they have their secrets, too. Releasing the secrets/shame has changed my life.
One thing that really helped me was deciding not to make any major changes in my life for a year. That doesn't mean change didn't happen, but I took the burden off myself of whether to stay or go, etc.
Keep posting - it helps to see it put in writing.
((()))
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: FREEDOM
Posts: 665
Hey Redbear,,,,Welcome,,,
I started with the three c's,,
I did not Cause it
I can not Control it
I can not Cure it
it was/is my mantra when I start twising about his drinking,,,
Ummmm,,sweetie,,,they all have the same "secret" 
Keep going, at the very least its putting the focus back where it belongs, on YOU instead of the A
Keep posting,,we're glad your here
Peace
I started with the three c's,,
I did not Cause it
I can not Control it
I can not Cure it
it was/is my mantra when I start twising about his drinking,,,
it is a struggle to walk through the door knowing everyone is going to turn and look at you knowing your secert already
Keep going, at the very least its putting the focus back where it belongs, on YOU instead of the A
Keep posting,,we're glad your here
Peace
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: ft. bend texas
Posts: 179
Originally Posted by redbear
i can't trust him, i think he is always lying to me, because he has done it so well before. It is to the point i feel like leaving because I can't handle being with my husband the alcoholic, i'm afraid theses feeling will never go away and i'm so tired of living with this worry. What i'm I to do? How can I magiclly make theses feeling go away.
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