Grace

I've been getting my things out of the house as I can.
On my last trip, he said, "You abandoned us. You are so selfish."
Now....that is how I feel. Selfish. I know how it feels to be abandoned.
It hurts. I will always care for him, and I don't want to see him hurting.
I miss him and our dogs and our home. I just miss everything.
This has been so hard, but I know that I can't and I won't go back.
I have to be on a waiting list for housing. My clothes are still in boxes,
because no one is willing to help me bring my dressers over.
I miss the good times......even though they were outweighed by the bad ones.
I tried and I tried, over and over again.
I feel like I should apologize to him for leaving.
I think that we both disappointed each other.
We didn't live up to each other's expectations.
I didn't mean to abandon him and our dogs.
I just got tired of walking on eggshells and feeling used.
I am so confused today.

WantsOut

Grace, it's only been a short time. I feel silly even saying that because I know when you're living it it seems so long. But it's true - you haven't gotten settled in your own life yet. You are still working through recovering from his very cruel comments and attitudes about you, and your codieism. Please believe me - in a year you will have grown so immensely ... you will love your new, free life.

Meantime deal with the pain via chocolate therapy That's from Dr. WantsOut. I'm not a real doctor, I just play one on SR. And I always prescribe chocolate.

SaTiT

okay. ..don't fall in the trap..it's actaully call detaching.

loveRoy

Walking on eggshells. Before I found this board I thought I was the only one walking on eggshells. He is gone and I am alone; I love not walking on eggshells. Be strong. I pray that you get your own place very soon. Then you can create a real home, one without eggshells.

Grace

You guys are great!
I pray for my own place too.
It is difficult here.
I love my mom, but this is very difficult too.
She wants me to jump to her every command, so it's no different.
I just need to have the courage and the strength to get me through each day.
Just having a down day, but you guys always lift me up.

Thank you. Thank you!
Grace

kermit

Hang in there sweetie, hang in there.Huggs and prayers you way

Mr. Christian

Hello Grace,

Seems like he knew what button to push.
Abandonment? Selfish ?

No, it’s self-preservation plain and simple.
It takes humans a lot longer it seems to save themselves from danger.
A simple animal would have left a long time ago to save ones self.
We linger out of emotion and fear.
This 1st step here that you have made is only the beginning

But is it is the greatest thing you could have done.

denny57

Hang in there, Grace. It isn't being selfish, it's preserving your sanity and giving yourself the life you deserve. It's ok to say, I'm sorry you feel that way, but I need to do this for me.

((()))

fluffyflea

Manipulation Grace plain and simple.

He knows how to ge tto you.

Did he not abandon you be staying drunk and not getting help/

Was he not selfish?

Emotionally unavailable?

Did he not let the relationship down by his actions?

They say these things so they can deflect responsibility and not take responsibility for anything.

Earthworm

mallowcup

Well, that's projection if I ever heard it. He abandoned you. You just left after being abandoned.

Sunlight81

Honey, he abandons himself and then everything else when he drinks. Just keep taking care of you. You and him are in my prayers.

guineapigjude

All you have to get through is one day at a time. I second the chocolate therapy perscription. Remember, you aren't the bad guy here. In fact, no matter what he says or does, there isn't a bad guy. It's damn alcohol talking, and that's all he can hear right now.
I'll be thinking of you~