shemp

My dilemia is that I have an xgf who has a restaining order against me and there is sometimes that we speak. i know that i should have no contact with this person, but we both will tell each other that we love and care for each other. i have relapsed after being sober for a year and I made contact with this person and ended up in jail for a period of time. I was angry at this person at first then I started to really think and was my actions that landed me in jail not hers. When i got out I had no cantact with this person until I recieved an Im from her. We have spoke since then. I am back going to meetings and seeking mental health. I do love this person but when we talk all see does is acuse me of drinking and dating other girls. I dont understand why she cares anymore? What should I do? Does anyone have any suggestions and can someone maybe help me with why would she care if I see other women?

WantsOut

From way out here it sounds like she has problems with codependency. She is as sick as you are with your alcoholism. She needs to go to alanon or get therapy.

The only thing that should matter to your right now is your sobriety. If you really love her set an example of healing - tell her you can't worry about her problems, happiness, or go on endlessly about circular issues. Then refuse to engage in any way. Show her what it means to care about oneself in a healthy way and shut out all distractions.

This is the strange part of dealing with an alcoholic in the throes or a codie in the throes ... all of us need to be told to shut up, sit down, and focus on ourselves.

Love