oneeyeopen

ugh, how many of the rest of you are sitting on YET ANOTHER friday night wondering where the addict is, what they are doing, whether you will be planning a funeral or not by tomorrow.

such a drag. I would love to get on the phone and just bla bla with some one but it is late here. I would watch a movie but I am in that tired but restless mood that we all get in when we sit here nights hoping that door will open and in they will walk, sober, clean, and not out of money.

some nights I do manage to turn off the phones and try to relax, but for some reason this is one of those toss and turn nights with the phone call to the abf every half hour...

gotta find a better night time pursuit. like...SLEEPING.

Man, how I miss the days when I had a boyfriend that spent the night and when we didn't sleep it was because we were ....

They'll come again, in some way, in some form. Right??? please assure me of that...I won't be sitting alone for the rest of my life.

These last 8 months have been such a struggle, I am so weary and tired from it. I wish I could tell my mother what is going on but I say nothing because I keep thinking the relationship with abf will work out and I don't want her impression of him colored by what has been going on. But I just want to sit down and tell her about it and feel her love and support for me.

patchoulli

I know the feeling. I didn't know about the drugs until the last few weeks but my family knew the behaviors were weird and didn't like Keith anymore. I always felt I had to defend him. I will tell you that after he died, my sister was a huge support for me and I never expected her to be. It really helped. Talk to your mom. If you crave her love and support, and explain your position to her, she may just be there for you and let you live your own life. People can surprise us I am finding. She may already know something is up anyway, mine did....Marian

havehope

I agree, tell your mom. I was very suprised at the reaction of my family when I told them about my addict daughter. They were more supportive than I could imagine. None had been in my situation before and didn't know any answers, but their love for me shined through and made me feel so much better. Just my opinion, but give your mom a chance.
HUGS to you.
Terri

Noah812

Tell your mom...besides you are trying to protect him and his actions by not telling your mother about what is happening to you so she will not think less of him, perhaps she won't. If she does, it would make sense that a mother would want to protect her children. You need an advocate for yourself and parents often times fill that role very well. If he wants to have thier blessing to be with you afterwards then he will have to prove to them that he has changed. It is up to him to resolve his problems instead of us always protecting them and the thoughts of others with our silence. Keep coming here and reading/posting. You may find that in time you will have grown and no longer want to go on this ride with him, stop the drug world I am getting off here. You are not alone, many here have been or are where you are now. You are the only person who can change where you are now...abf will not change until he is ready when and if that time comes. Are you ready for change? Good luck to you and hang in there.

rahsue

If this were a good friend of yours going through this, what would you tell her to do?
I'm sure what you need to do is the same.

good luck

parentrecovers

extra hugs to all of you this morning. we almost lost our daughter to relapse/alcohol poisoning thursday night. i know all about those sleepless nights. blessings and prayers to you and yours, k

mooselips

oneeyeopen,
Secrets eat us up inside. They do.
Your mom sounds like a loving, safe, secure kind of mom, that will do anything to help her daughter feel better.
Talk to your mom, spill it all, and see how much better you'll feel.
They say the truth can set us free, it's true, it can, you'll see.

When you're ready, and you're getting there, I can tell just by the way you talked about your mom, sit down and have a chat with her.

As for someone else is your life.
Don't be in a hurry. Start going to meetings, work on you, and see why you've attracted this kind of guy into your life. New doors open up when we work on us.

The right guy may be right around the corner, and when you're ready, there he'll be!

Hugs, and prayers,