booklover

My laptop has been broken and so I have used computers here and there to check emails and to read posts but I haven't had much to post myself. Today I have had a long time with a laptop (I actually found my AH's hidden in the garage) and what did I do? I checked his myspace...and what do you know...he had an email from the girl he was cheating with...she is in town and wants to hook up with him. I know for a fact he will but will pretend to me that he is trying to win me back and be faithful. I am mad at myself for reading the email and for still being hurt. I should know better by now.

He was in rehab since I last posted. He actually went. He got kicked out for among other things, fraternizing and having inappriopriate relationships with female patients.

So I am trying to do my thing and walk my walk and take care of my **** and stay out of his, as they say.

Hard sometimes, easier than I could have believed it was going to be at other times. I should never have my laptop fixed. It is like crack to me when it comes to tracking down my husband's indiscretions.

I still haven't filed for divorce because it is easier not to right now. I decided to not decide much of anything. It works for now.

I told my best friend about my AH getting kicked out of rehab and he was furious. Well furious mainly bc someone told his 15 year old friend who happens to be a girl...yeah...and she found out he lied to her. He can't stand when his friends find out what I know, that he is a liar. He blames me. He swears I told someone that told her. Actually, she found out bc stuff like that gets around the music crowd. SOOOO...he says I am not allowed to discuss his recovery or involvement with AA to anyone ever. Is this really true? I am not out advertising any of it but it pertains to my recovery somewhat and I shared with my best friend and my mom. How can that be bad? Just wondering what you guys thought.

I actually started on my inventory and working the steps for real. It is really helping.

Hope all of you guys are doing well.

Laura

LGLG07

(((booklover))) .. Im so sorry for the position you are in .. It sucks , I know .. sometimes we get so caught up in it that we really think whats going on is normal .
Why dont you go back over your post and read it to yourself outloud .. read it as if you were reading an email from your best friend . Sometimes we have the answers we just have to look in from outside the box .

Leave him to himself . Keep taking care of you , detach as best you can and you will find strength .

Praying for you ..
M

prodigal

What you choose to discuss and whom you decide to discuss it with, is YOUR business. He doesn't like it, well ... too bad. He's cheating on you but ordering you around as to what you can say. Whew!! Detach, detach, detach.

I know all about the lies, turning tables, projecting what they do onto us. Been there, lived that. It hurts, but you've got to realize who you're dealing with. When people don't want to take responsibility for their own mess, they generally turn it around and blame someone else. He's quacking.

Keep working the steps. I'm making an assumption here that you are not being intimate with him. The fact that he's fooling around means he could end up catching something. Please be safe - protect your physical health AND your emotional health. Divorce may not be what you want right now, but have you considered separating?

denny57

Keep working those steps, Laura. As long as I stay focused on my own recovery, life works out.

((()))

TexasGirl

Hi there,
I think that you can only do what you said...whatever works for you. That being said, I noticed something that was once pointed out to me. Sometimes not doing anything is actually doing something by default. Because I'm sure I didn't make that very clear, let me give you an example. I went back and forth trying to decide if I should stay in the marriage or go. By not picking one or the other, I was actually staying in the marriage. Again, you can only do what you think is best for you, but keep in mind that you are indirectly choosing one path. Just something to consider, and maybe nothing is best for now....that's okay too.

(((Laura)))

kglast

IMO - the forbidding you talking about his alcoholism, etc. is a form of control....the less you discuss it with others, the less likely you will be to take someone's good advice to get out of there!!!

best wishes