Alive

The urge for life( and the past fear of happiness)

I searched for you, I waited
You could never come
All this time I was looking
you were me, I was alone
You were nothing but a dream
A dream of courage
A projection of a fearful man
Who could not lift his head
and breathe….
How can words serve me better
I am here!
How could life be bad to me
When there’s so much fear
Well fear froze the legs of a soldier
And left cities to be conquered
What have I got for holding back
Nothing but a self broken heart and a past
All my feelings poored out to somewhere I couldn’t see
I only looked around
where was I?
looking for me...
I snailed trough streets
Was too afraid to be brave
And to say I stood among equals
had no reason to limp
Time comes to...
To become responsible for a good day
To be blamed for my own pain
Yes, that is the truth of life
to say i am in control
if i mess up
another level to my soul
My worries froze my life
And the fear of not having one
Are recursive on it and denied
Never a mirror was this right
As it is today
No love will be greater than this
No person can get inside
The healing comes from deep within
From a place where I know I’ve never been
It’s not there at the first look
It must be worthy for the time it took
And I stand corrected
Saddened, crazy, disrespected
But who was I yesterday
But a percentage of what I can be
Today I can become anything
but before there’s a reason for this journey
there are animals who won't stop hurting
because they can't give up,
so why should a man with powers and words
not be able to feel life's worth
I get deeper everytime
Like it’s impossible to do so
I get weaker and stronger everytime
and still i struggle to know
I can’t use time and spin it back
If I knew what I know today
I wouldn’t worry for outside opinions
See they only exist to destroy
they only live as a decoy...
to make you loose yourself in a labyrinth
to break you in pieces that don't function alone.
when the truth was already there...
What a will to live
What a need to feel
But that same need was put to sleep
By a need of approval
What is that but imposition
What is that but lied tradition
You could never free me
See handcuffs are tight on my veins
My bones they live with shame
And I am the one with the key
I can free my blood
so I can feel no more hurt
not through death
but through life
not on the other side
it is not the time
you see I haven’t even felt life
so how could I leave my prize
my urge is to live
unlike the ones who surround me
i still have so much more to give,
you see i know,
that the future is shining on me
give me time, give me nothing else
and a fenix is a man
that chooses to say i am here today
because i've walked myself this road, but by my way....
my urge is to feel
everyday a little bit more alive
not be afraid to smile
it takes courage
to see the reason for life
imagine the ones who God didn't chose...
somewhere there are spirits still waiting
some died too soon
before a dream came true
and i have the biggest blessing
i am here today....
what am i searching?
when i have it since day one....
the urge to be alive......



Me, 8th June

Dee74

thanks Karim
D

xXBacktoBlackXx

That was amazing! I especially liked this part: "Well fear froze the legs of a soldier
And left cities to be conquered"

livefree

Thanks for sharing, Karim=) That was beautiful.
I can relate to "My worries froze my life And the fear of not having one."
You've got a lot of talent!