queenteree

When I visited RAH last week in rehab, his counselor asked me if I was in Alanon. I told him I tried many meetings in my area and didn't feel welcome or comfortable and nobody came up to me after the meetings (there was not even coffee or anything). He suggested instead of Alanon to try open AA meetings. What is the difference between them and can it really help me? Given that RAH is coming home next week, I would like to have a week's worth of base to start with since I feel I am losing my mind at the moment and my OCD is kicking in big time (OC's can't take change well). Thanks for your help.

Cynay

Ohhhh Yaaaaa

The first year of my recovery my sponsor had me going to 2 Al-anon meetings a week and one open AA meeting.

The difference is AA gave me compassion for the Alcoholic, Al-anon taught me how to Live with the disease (or not live) and take care of my sanity... it focuses only on the Al-anon.

btw Al-anon never serves coffee only AA does that I have seen. Dont be afraid to go up and introduce yourself to them... they may be waiting for that....

Rella927

My first Al-Anon meeting I remember that no one came up to me. The second meeting I went up to them as the person actually apologized for not coming to me the week before.

I have found the same as Cynay once again states so well....AA is compassion for the Alcoholic etc....

I have enjoyed several AA meetings with a girlfriend of mine years ago and also now on occasion with my brother. It has taught me to be compassionate and also grateful for those who are actually focusing on their soberity because that means less A's out there hurting themselves and others and grasping onto their lives to live.

(((HUGS QT)))

CE Girl

Hey QT, (did you know when you say your initials realy fast it sounds like "cutie"?!?!?he,he,he)

Anyway, I go to both, Open AA meetings and al anon meetings. And frankly, depending on my mood, determines which one I choose

I actually like the open AA meeting. Its usually a speaker meeting, so I get to hear someone's "story". And some of the story's make me think, "geez, as bad as my A is/has it there are some WAY worse off, or BETTER off than him. It also helps me realize, how frankly, the A is so "focused" on their recovery, they RARELY speak about the family. I find that comforting in a weird way, cause it lessens how I "personalize" my A's selfishness. At the very least, I come away a tad more "educated" to the disease

I also find al anon meetings that an A is a speaker at very enlightening. The A's that speak at those are very brave. a lot of times, the quesitons and discussions are emotionally charged and the A is taking it on the chin. What I get our of these meetings is my questions ansered by someone who is in recovery and has most fo the time worked the 12 steps. soemthing I can't get when I ask my A the same question.

In any case, I don't always hear what I want to hear, or get a question answered the wayI want it answered, but both meetings bring enlightment and knowledge

Peace

Sunlight81

Speaker meetings are safer, less chance of getting called on. If you go to a discussion meeting, you should be ready to introduce yourself, if you get called on. My names so n so and I pass or I'm a visitor or a friend of AA or a grateful member of Alanon or whatever you're comfortable with. Most open meetings will let a non alcoholic share on the topic, if you feel like it. Check out enough meetings that you find a couple you are comfortable with. Good luck!

denny57

If I had to choose one over the other, I'd choose Al-Anon because it's for me. I attend occasional open AA meetings, in fact, I'll be at one tonight. But it's for a different purpose.

CE Girl

ok, I'll ask,,,LOL

What's your purpose Denny?

If I need to take detention, just tell me my punishment. I'm a tough l'il injun , although, might I remind you? We know how to scalp

Peace

Spiritual Seeker

It is rec. that you go to Alnon at least 6 times before making an opinion. The meetings have lfree literature & books for sale. I had to do the reading along with attending. Also check out your local library on line or in person cuz many have recovery books to check out. If you have the courage to share in a mtg people will most likely get more comf. talking to ya after the mtg. Or someone you heard share that ya can relate to, approach them afterwards. Best wishes.

hopeangel

i think both are important. they both offer different things. i have had many an alcoholic express that he gets more from the alanon meetings than AA. i often feel i get more from the AA meetings than the alanon meetings. i think it is important to gain understanding of both sides.

also, one thing i had to realize about alanon was that i am there for myself and what i can gain from it and not worry about how uncomfortable i feel or my feelings about others there.

denny57

I attend open AA meetings to remind me that hope never dies; that sobriety is possible; it teaches me compassion. And every single speaker I hear says they did it for themselves.

SaTiT

There's a big different between Al-anon and an open AA meeting..
In al-anon...you can let it all hang out and call the As....Poop heads
or cry or let out your anger and fustrations...

if you go to AA and just happen to be in a meeting where anger
or resentment is being disguss..You might get a little bit confuse
and take the message to wrong way and repress your feelings
again...which will cuase depression and more fuastrations.
Becuase anger is a no..no .... for a lot of AA members becuase
they are violent drunks or poop heads...
however, not all alki are like that. Some of us use drinking and
using to surpress our feelings, fears or anger.
And being a Codi and all.. you might wanna save every alki in an AA meeting..lol

Or you been abandon or perhapse you been a control freak.
There's a lot of recovery principle you can find in AA.
example..in chapter 16 of the 4th edition of the AA BB.
it gose into a lot of codi/alki dance and a lof of
answers are there in the that chapter..problem is, a lot
of AA members don't like to read that chapter becuase it
slaps you right in the face and tells ya like it is..
Plus there's a lot of drugs metioned in that chapter and people
are still hung up or not totally well...lol