ilovebdj

Sorry guys, I've been lurking for seven months.

Why do I still think about him?

Why does he still drink?

Why does it seem to get worse instead of better as time goes on?

Sorry to gripe. I'm really sorry. I just hate everything.

denny57

Hey ilovebdj, I'm getting ready to hit the sack, but wanted to send you a ((())).

So, are you still in contact - thought it had been broken off? Did you every give therapy a try? Al-Anon?

What are you doing for you?

Take care, glad to have you back!

best

Because you are remembering the good times of the past and love is strong. Because that is what we do till we figure out what the drinking is doing to us and then start seeking solutions. Alcohol has a progressive addictive nature. One today... 5 - 3 weeks from now for the same affect. It can get worse yet unless he makes a choice to seek answers.


What you can do that will help.... Start looking at things that you like to do and find the joy in your life doing things for you. Al Anon meetings will gain you much support and answers as well.
Till he is ready and willing, he won't stop. Time spent worrying about him is time wasted. We can't change others. We don't cause the issue (his own choices do) and we can't stop others from drinking. So for now...start working on things that you can do and make #1 be...do something nice for "you".

Spiritual Seeker

Are you obsessing? Wishing you peace of mind + strength as pick up the pieces of your life. They say we are stronger where there has been a break

loveRoy

I understand. It is so tough and so sad. I had to decide to take care of me. When I am taking care of me, my girls are happy and they take care of themselves. For us, we had to completely detach. He will either sink or swim. We can't save him and we are not going to drown, if that is what he chooses, with him.

parentrecovers

greetings and welcome. keep posting! alanon really helps me cope. blessings, k

Rella927

Welcome Ilovebdj! (((hugs))))

Keep posting and reading! Glad you decided to join us instead of lurking! Alot of good advice above me and I'm sure more to come-

We cannot control what any person does and especially not someone who is active in drinking. Something that we need to accept in order to take care of ourselves. It is wasted energy to worry about them it keeps us stuck in our own lives.

Denny and Best mentioned Al-Anon maybe give that a test run and see if that is something for you! It is a great resource....and so is SR!

Welcome!!

Cynay

Just want to add my Welcome to SR. Im glad you joined us and remember your not alone in the struggles with this disease.

Stick around, read all you can, the stickies at the top are a good place to start. I look forward to getting to know you better.

Free At Last

The hardest thing I had to realize is the questions you have do not always have a response. Or if they do it may not be your to find. When you stop looking you may realize you knew all the time. I know it is hard. You want to know why and why and why. I found that how can I possibly know hy if he doesn't. When you concentrate on the why it takes away from the focus on you. FOCUS on yourself and it fades. It will come up here and there but you will find the tears are less and need to know is not as important as not haveing the pain. One day at a time is all you can do. Read these posts keep coming back. When you feel like nobody understands People are tired of hearing you. None of us ever are. We are all here going through it with you. I have posted more things that make no sense and someone always gets it and responds. People on this forum can relate they know where you are or at least have the compassion. Have faith and trust that god has a plan. You may not see it all now but all in due time

aztchr

For me, I did the things I was doing because I wasn't ready to stop.
The pain stops when you are ready. If you think you are ready, then that's where the support and recovery begins. It takes time to work through it.