xXBacktoBlackXx

Okay...this is really embarrassing. I don't know if you'll remember this but when I first joined, I posted about how I sent my laptop to computer forensics because I was paranoid that I sent somebody an e-mail, etc etc and it was eating away at me. That was about a month ago. And then I got drunk and I kept thinking I contacted all these people. It seriously was such a huge source of anxiety for me. I couldn't sleep sometimes because of it. I never contacted this person to ask if I had because I was too embarrassed...I thought I had sent them several death threats. Well, this person contacted me tonight and...

I never sent one damned thing.

I can't believe how foolish I can be...seriously!!

stone

Lol! Oh well, that's good I spose

Ach! Blackouts and paranoia-not nice at all.

xXBacktoBlackXx

Well, I'm kind of glad that I never asked if I did or not because that would have been a bit odd since I hadn't...can you imagine if someone asked you if they sent you a death threat? I'm just glad I didn't send an email asking people about that...

luv2all

I hope you can get to meetings and as often as possible. You won't be sorry.
I'm so grateful for my serenity and joy in sobriety.

Hang in there and please keep coming back to share with us. We care.

Luv

xXBacktoBlackXx

Thank you. After my next appointment, I do intend on going. Right now, I'm just grateful that a few things got cleared up with more than one person. It's funny, because a few nights ago, I was praying to G-d that I could be cleared of my past wrongs. I found out today that I haven't even done anything which I've been praying forgiveness for...weird.

Dee74

at least you can put it behind you now, BtB !
D

Spiritual Seeker

There is a book on recovery titled "STOP the INSANITY" now you can see why that is an approp. title. You know the way to stop it. Step one is to own it/admit the unmanagability, and it sounds like you have. How ya doing on step 2?

IO Storm

Hey B2BXX,,,

Now that is something to be GRATEFUL for!!!

Love,

IO

livefree

That's awesome about the never-sent messages! I remember you were posting about those a long time ago. That must have really been eating away at you. What a relief!!!
I think going to meetings and working the steps will help you deal with the anxiety of what you may or may not have done while you were drunk. It's definitely relieved some of my anxiety with regards to my random acts of drunkenness.
Don't just limit yourself to women's meetings. I go to a great young people's meeting that has helped me meet other kids my age.

GlassPrisoner

Yup, 1/2 the stuff we worry about never happens. Or in your case never happened !

Work your program. There will be a day major s**t will hit the fan and, although slightly perturbed or disappointed, you'll walk right through it.

die tryin

Hi B2B,
I know you were really concerned about if you had sent some E-mails when you were using.I am so relieved for you to hear that you didn't.
These are the kind of things that I found happen more and more often after I got clean and sober and am staying clean and sober.My mind was so busy trying to recall all of the things I had done the night,week,or month before that I could not focus on achieving any goals for the future.Since I became a member of A.A. I have found a set of "principals" that I can follow to make sure I am living my life to its fullest potential.These "principals" are called steps...I thank my God every day for finding this new way of looking at the future..
I hope the results of your computer situation is a sign of many good things to come in the future..
All the best,,!

ghostgirl

b2b...

you are bringing a smile to my face

you're doing good, honey... keep it up!

gg